


Torn Apart

by gabsmatos



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-04-11 20:37:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 68,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19117255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabsmatos/pseuds/gabsmatos
Summary: If relationships say a lot about us, what Stuart can assume about himself is that he must be a problematic creature; after all.Since Murdoc has escaped from jail, he finds himself involved with the two most aggressive, evilest and most sarcastic men he has ever had contact with.And worst of all: they seem to be vying his attention.Phase 5 - *Updates every Thursday*





	1. The Jail's Escape

 

Sweat was running down through his temples when Stuart woke up terrified in the middle of the night. Another dream he had with Murdoc. He ran his hands over his pale face, his throat dry. He remembered the scene he had experienced a few seconds ago, and the end of the dream was like so many others; accelerating in a police escape, Murdoc exploded inside a stolen crashing a truck four times bigger.

Since Murdoc had been arrested, 2D woke up often to those dreadful dreams, all culminating in the death of the bassist. And almost always, the sweat was accompanied by a feeling of deep remorse, because after all, 2D was no longer visiting him in jail as he used to. He had given up after a while, getting busy with the band and losing hope he would be released anytime sooner.

Visiting Murdoc had become so emotionally painful and so hurtful since Ace had joined the band that the truth was this: Stuart had been avoiding him. However, he couldn’t help meeting the Satanist again in his dreams. His subconscious craved for Murdoc.

The singer crawled out of bed, still wrapped in his heavy blanket. The chill of the night made the sweat cold against his skin, making him tremble. His dry throat forced him down the stairs looking for a glass of water. So, walking like a birdie not to wake Russell or Noodle up, who slept in the neighboring rooms, Stuart walked to the kitchen.

That house was full of memories. Murdoc would have to complete another 5 years in jail, but his presence seemed to never have left those chambers. The smell of alcohol of the old drunk man was still present; in fact, so strong that Stuart had the idea that the bassist was still there somewhere hidden like a ghost. The memory was painful - after so many physical fights, so much psychological violence that Murdoc used to do against himself- but still so necessary.

He chose against turning the lights on, letting his eyes become accustomed to the darkness as he approached the kitchen. Smelling alcohol and staying in the dark helped his damaged brain reassure himself that Murdoc someway could still be there. What a joke, he was in his cell miles away from there. However, bumping into the kitchen’s door and opening it while grunting, the singer could realize that something was wrong with that sick joke.

In the corner of the room, with his back to the door he had just entered, was a tall, thin, crooked figure. His scruffy hair made it look like he'd come out of a zombie chase. His orange clothes indicated that he had just gotten out of jail. But it wasn’t possible, it couldn’t be...

Stuart froze for a few seconds, then backed off clutching the doorknob. The blanket on his body slipped and fell to the ground at his feet as his eyes gained that white color of sheer terror.

_\- M-Murdoc ?!_

Murdoc didn’t turn around immediately, but 2D could totally sense the demonic grin that those lips formed. He thought he would have the urge to hug Niccals as soon as he saw him again free from jail, but now that he was in front of his ex mate ... He was shaking from nervousness and a deep fear. That wasn’t the Murdoc he once knew. Terror made him froze in place terrified of making any sudden moves.

"M ... Murdoc ..." she stuttered, clenching that knob. There was a mixture of fear and joy that made his heart skip a beat. Was it possible that Murdoc had escaped from jail and was back home?

Finally Murdoc turned around, the kitchen’s pitch falling on only part of that badly bearded old face. Now 2D could see that he had been watching the mural of photos on the wall; photos of him, Noodle, Russell, his own and ... Well, now Ace.

"Dents," he said, and the hoarse voice seemed to melt as it left his lips. "How sweet of you not have gotten rid of my photos ..."

"Murdoc, I ..." He blinked, finally leaving the knob to face him. Trembling, he crouched on the floor and covered himself again his large blanket, not because it was cold, but because part of him wanted to hide. He wanted to disappear desperately. "You escaped...?"

"They exploded the side wall of the dining room," the bassist shrugged, glancing back at the photos on the wall. “It caused a fire. Some of the inmates escaped after the mess... " Green fingers ran over those pictures, but he stopped at Ace's photo. Beside Stuart, they both smiled at that image hugging each other. "So happy ..." He mumbled, jealousy oozing from those words.

A silence settled in the room. 2D had the real desire to say that he had missed him; he wanted to ask how Niccals was, face him, anything that brought him closer ... However, his eyes remained white and glassy, cuz he knew the risk he could be assuming if he got closer Murdoc.

"It's good to know that I've been replaced so quick." He mocked out loud with a  dry laugh

“No you weren’t...”

"Oh, wasn’t I?" He turned around again, looking to the younger male.

Stuart flinched and scooted back, until his back touched the door. His heart was beating so fast that he could feel it coming out or his mouth. The cold sweat had returned to his body, because even though he had longed for the physical contact, now it was the terror that took him over. He stared at the floor, unable to face him, as Murdoc positioned himself only inches from his face getting dangerously close.

“Finding a new bass player was enough to make you stop visiting me ... huh?”

"N-no," He stuttered, shaking his head, still avoiding looking at him. "It isn’t how you’’re thinking, I swear-"

“Another man to play your songs, Faceache? Or was it something else you found in him to satisfy you and make you forget me?” He whispered, his lips touching the pale ear of the shaking singer, that fragile body almost giving in with his teasing. “Does he pulls your hair too, D?”

“Of course not!” Stuart spat at once, finally daring to face Murdoc. Niccals' mismatched eyes stared at him with a fury and a hate that Stuart could feel the heat emanating from them, burning his pale skin. "What did you expect me to do? Curling myself crying and giving up the band?!” He almost yelled back getting angry. Who Murdoc thought he was to talk to him like that after Stuart practically saved his band?

That was the last straw for the Satanist. Murdoc jerked his body over his, pinning him against the door. His green fingers wrapped around his neck, squeezing it and blocking the passage of air. Stuart grunted and tried to be reluctant, but in the physical fight he had never succeeded against Murdoc. With the bassist's body crushing his and the flow of thin air in his lungs, he felt his knees weaker.

He struggled, but his strength was already gone. He was being strangled against that door, grunting and trying to reach Murdoc's face, trying to get away from his tight grip. His face was expressionless, apathetic, nonchalant and twisted into a grimace with an amorphous hatred.

Murdoc with his blind rage dragged the singer to the floor, laying on top of him, Stuart almost giving up. His eyes were white as snow, the muscles of his hand already becoming limp as he lost consciousness trying to take Murdoc’s hand away from his thin neck. Meanwhile, Murdoc pulsed in anger, wanting to see him hurt, shattered, ruined, only because he had replaced him so quickly. That son of a bitch, so fucking fast!

His mismatched eyes were shining with unshed tears, just like 2D’s. But when he realized that the singer’s conscience was fading from his suffering face, Murdoc froze. He was going to kill the person that mattered to him the most in that filthy planet? _What are you doing? What are you doing old madman?_  His mind screamed to him while his hands squeezed his neck even tighter unconsciously.

He threw himself back in one motion, startled at himself. He fell to the ground and Stuart breathed desperately, coughing as he now had a chance to get some air or to escape from Murdoc.

Choking, breathing hard, he bent over himself and crawled away, away from Murdoc. Tears rolled down his face, but was there anything new in this scene? Murdoc was back, after all. That was predictable. His eyes widened and he sobbed looking at the Satanist totally terrified of him.

Niccals was frozen in place. He cussed and shook his head, as if he didn’t recognize himself; They both knew it wasn’t the first, or the would be the last time, that the bassist gave him a demonstration of his aggressiveness and jealousy. The problem was that now aggressiveness that had been always there, seemed now to be able to consume them.

“S-Stay away ... From me!” he wailed, still coughing, reaching for the blanket on the floor and curling over it, leaning back against the corner of the room.

It was then that the unexpected happened: From the distance, they heard the noise of sirens that seemed to be approaching the house quick. Of course! After all, Murdoc shared that same residence with the band before being arrested; if he was a fugitive, that would be the first place that police would look for him.

They looked at each other, startled. Suddenly, they became accomplices through desperate glances. Murdoc got up and put his hands on his own hair, pulling it and walking in circles desperate. He babbled things like "Get out of here ...", "How to get out ...", "They can’t find me here ...".

“Murdoc ... Murdoc!” Stuart stood up as well and approached him, still shaking noticing the elder’s despair. As soon as he touched his shoulder, Niccals stared at him in complete shock thinking Stuart wanted a payback or a revenge. That was a great opportunity for that. Murdoc knew Stuart had his life in his hands. Like he always had. Murdoc swallowed hard thinking he was fucked now.

“I have to get out of here.” He said not really thinking straight. He didn’t want to put Stuart of the band in trouble cuz of him again.

“No, you listen to me. You can’t leave. They will hunt you down like a rat on the street!” He said desperate shaking Murdoc by his shoulders. It was suicide going outside voluntarily. He would be thrown in jail forever!

"I can’t stay here, Dents." He shook his head, his gaze lost somewhere on the wall, facing the picture of Stuart and Ace. “They will find me ... They will find me ...”

“You can stay ...” The singer needed to think quick, the sirens were almost home and in anytime Noodle Russel and Ace would come out to see what was happening. “In the basement!”

“Basement?” Murdoc asked confused. The seemed so simple that was hard to believe it could actually work.

A brief silence settled between them, Murdoc staring at him as if he didn’t understand the proposal and 2D squeezing his eyes closed, as if he judged himself. It was the perfect opportunity to get rid of Murdoc for the last time… And he was throwing it away. Why?

"The old basement," he murmured, nodding. "The one you built before being arrested… This could give us sometime to think about what to do…” He tried to reason with the Satanist.

"They will tell where I am!" Niccals snarled, his gaze directed to the ceiling, as if he were referring to the other members of the band sleeping on the second floor. “They hate me! You hate me!” He said while more tears appeared in the corner of his bloodshot eyes.

"I won’t let them do it, I’ll protect you Murdoc. You have my word.” He reassured the bassist with a fierce glance. He really meant those words.

“You?” The Satanist laughed ironically. What kind of threat Stuart was? What was his power of persuasion, anyway?

"They don’t need to know you’re here.” He said seriously. He wouldn’t allow Murdoc to go outside at all.

His panicked laugh stopped in the same second, the older one now thinking, as if considering the possibility of trusting Stuart and allowing him of all people to protect himself in this hour of need.

"You ... You're really going to do this ... for me?" He looked at him directly, his eyes narrowing suspiciously. He had a pleading look but Murdoc still believed that was a sick way of gaining something giving him to the police.

Stuart looked down in melancholy, feeling stupid. He wanted to have enough hatred of Niccals to hand him over to the cops, but he didn’t have. He was too sweet and kind hearted to carry this guilty for life. Sadly, he finally understood; he would never hate Murdoc Niccals, even if he had reasons for that. So he nodded.

“Bluebird ...” Murdoc tried to say something, who knows thank him? But Stuart was quick before he changed his mind.

"Come on," he whispered, feeling small tears come up in the corner of his eyes.

_"Let's hide you."_

 


	2. The Perfect Trio

Armed police officers rolled up furniture and documents. 2D wasn’thing more than a thin, wide-eyed white man, who shook with every sudden movement of those six, seven soldiers coming and going inside the apartment, stepping on the secret passage to the basement where Murdoc stood hidden. Curled up inside his thick blanket, he hid his neck, where marks of the Satanist’s fingers had been present since the strangulation attempt.

Russel was nervous, but he tried to convince himself that it was all bullshit.

“Impossible! Murdoc isn’t here ... " He laughed nervously and wiped his sweaty hands on his own pants, growing tense. “I would have heard if he was here... I pay attention to everything that happens in this household ...” he spoke seriously like it was meant to convince them Murdoc wasn’t really there.

Noodle said nothing. With her arms folded and leaning against the kitchen sink, she kept her head down and nodded whenever a police officer questioned her or gave instructions on what to do if Murdoc showed up. Eventually, her very serious eyes met 2D’s white ones, suspicious. No one in whole World could convince her that Murdoc wasn’t there.

Even Ace, who didn’t live in that house, but had moved to an apartment on the same street, had come in when he realized the level of movement in the middle of the night. He was barely questioned, treated as an unwanted intruder when the police officers told him to get out of the way, not to step on the floor where there might be evidence of Murdoc's whereabouts. He obediently went off the way but always paying attention to everything that was happening in his surroundings from behind his iconic shades. He noticed Noodle’s looks towards Stuart. Something wasn’t right.

"I told you-" Stuart murmured, leaning against the wall. “Murdoc didn’t come here ...” He tried to sound convincing but was so tired it didn’t work at all. He just wanted them to leave as soon as possible.

"Do you know that you can be arrested if you are covering up a fugitive?" One of the police officers told him in a threatening way hoping he would give in and tell where Murdoc was.

“I do...” The singer looked down sadly, knowing pretty well sooner or later he would end up behind bars for trying to save his best mate. Was a risk he was willing to take? Would Murdoc do the same for him? He was growing nervous and sad as the time went by and they didn’t leave.

"And you know as well that _your friends_ can be arrested too if we find Niccals in here and we can’t say which of the residents were the one who sheltered him?" He spoke even more serious now that made everyone in the room tense, except Noodle that only seemed angrier.

Stuart's eyes widened, his heart racing, and his face pale, feeling the cold sweat trickling down his temples. His throat went dry, and for a second he almost considered opening his mouth, but he knew he would probably say too much. Endanger Noodle again, after all they had gone through, wasn’t fair with her at all ... Put Russel in danger, and all over again because of Murdoc ... Cuz of his own stupid choice. The glances of the people in the room seemed to be all directed for him and his anxiety made him feel like passing out.

"I-I ... I ..." He stuttered. The words leaving his brain as the terror took him over. These thoughts making him even more desperate.

"He already said," Russel intervened, his face now very stern and folding his arms in front of his large body getting in the middle of the police officer and the shaking-covered-in-his-protective-blanket singer. "Murdoc is not here.” He spoke as if it was Stuart’s final words he didn’t have the courage to say.

"He would never do that." Noodle opened his mouth for the first time that night, staring hurtly at 2D. "Murdoc is a violent fugitive, dangerous and aggressive” With every word that came out of her mouth, her gaze seemed sadder and sadder, as if she knew that Niccals was somewhere into that house and Stuart wanted to keep him hidden. "Stuart would never help him." Right? The Japanese woman had her own doubts about that. But she needed to keep her older brother innocent.

Sad and feeling really hurt with Noodle’s words and look, Stuart nodded, already too tired to speak. The worst part of harboring Murdoc wasn’t just sheltering him, but having to deal with his friends by judging him for trying to protect him. What he was doing was that wrong that made his whole family against him? He swallowed hard.

Relieved, he bit his lips and let out a long sigh as the policemen withdrew from the house. Only the members of the band stayed in the kitchen, Noodle with her back resting on the sink and with her head lowered seeming exhausted from being awake and from lying, what she really hated doing; Russell sat at the table, seeming annoyed; Ace quietly, took a cigarette from his pack and lighted it in his mouth.

Lastly, it was Noodle who first acknowledged 2D, who had thrown his body on a chair lazily, comfortably wrapped in his heavy blanket since early dawn, as if it could really provide him some protection.

"He's here, isn’t he?" Exalted, and seeing that Stuart didn’t respond, she stamped her foot. Her eyes were filled with tears, perhaps cuz of the indecision of collaborating or not with Murdoc’s escape, but clearly due to the sadness of knowing that this was very wrong and that soon they would be involved in a great confusion cuz of Stuart’s stupid decision of helping someone not worth. – Isn’t he, 2D?

Another long, heavy sigh left the singer's lips as an answer.

Noodle needed no more evidence; she ran her hands over her face, stressed. The guitarist was dressed in a long black robe, no glamor in her appearance and she looked exhausted. She wiped the tears from her tired eyes, shaking her head negatively.

“Where is he?” She whispered, now staring at the kitchen’s floor. "Where is he, Stu?" She looked up at him, now clearly annoyed.

Stuart wouldn’t say, of course he wouldn’t. He couldn’t. His chest tightened with the pain of not letting Noodle see her father, but by now he knew it was the best thing to do. For Noodle's own safety, it was essential that she stood away from Murdoc and knew as little as possible about his escape.

Stuart had to carry that burden alone after assuming the risk; the choice to cover him up had been his alone. The mere fact that Murdoc was in there, sharing the environment with the rest or people, distributed chills through his body. Tears multiplied in his eyes, but all he did was shake his head in silence.

Noodle deepened her expression of sadness. Stuart knew she would appeal when the time came, and there it was:

"You cannot deal with this alone Stuart ..." she insisted with a lot of hurt in her voice, leaning closer 2D. It was clear the fact that Murdoc was really in there already changed all the dynamics of the house, and even if she loved him like a father, Noodle knew: Niccals was toxic. "We were doing so well without him..." she whispered and touched the singer's face with her hands, what made 2D flinch and jump up from the chair.

“I wasn’t doing well!” He shouted not looking at her, his voice already breaking with tears. "I wasn’t fucking doing well, okay?" He turned to face Noodle, the hoarseness of his voice was already added to a few tears washing his pale face. “You don’t fucking know how I was! You don’t understand!”

“I'm trying to protect us!” He shouted again, exasperated, trying to sound like what he was doing was right and the best.

"You can’t protect us!" It was Russel's turn to stand up from the table, and when he did, all the attentions turned to him. Wounded, he directed a sad look at 2D lastly and left the kitchen without any other word, heavy footsteps almost shaking the structure of the house while he went back to the safety of his own room.

"Russ-" 2D tried, watching like an abandoned dog as his friend withdrew.

Noodle took the lead, standing up too.

"Murdoc's going to burn this house down Stuart, drag us all to the hellhole he had come from and he's going to take us all to jail. Will be all your fault when this happens." she snapped, bitterly, visibly shaking from anger, hating Stuart’s silence. Following Russell, she left the kitchen pissed, slamming the door behind her.

2D was absolutely alone, except for the shadow in the dark that was Ace. The bassist watched him out of the corner of his eye as 2D stood in the same spot he was before, no longer fighting his tears and sobbing painfully. Each sad noise that erupted from his throat was really heartbreaking and make his thin and weak body shake whole under that blanket. He curled himself even more trying to look for some comfort and failing miserably.

"They don’t understand ... You all don’t understand ..." he mumbled, glaring at Ace as he silently prayed for comfort, a hug, a helping hand.

Talking about Ace, silence was one of his greatest qualities. He rarely gave an opinion when those fights took place; he judged no one, much less seemed to judge 2D; The American was just an outside observer. Moreover, even if the hugs weren’t his forte, he silently offered the pack of cigarettes to the other as some comfort from the green bassist, and that was the best thing 2D could have had.

“Cigarette?” He offered to the broken singer with a smile. Was the best he thought of doing in a situation like that. He didn’t feel he had the right to hug him at all.

The vocalist nodded, accepting the pack and then the fag. His hands were shaking so hard it took him a few seconds to light the cigarette he had taken to his mouth without burning himself in the process.

The silence reigned in the kitchen until 2D’s cries finally subsided. It was strange to realize how comfortable he was when he was silent with Ace. He used to feel very embarrassed and ashamed when someone he didn’t know so well shared the same place with him, but not this time - at that moment, Stuart felt... Calm. Or maybe a kind of complicity. As Ace could realize what he was thinking, he showed a closed-lipped smile, to which Stuart finally felt his cheeks burning and looked away.

“Do you love him?” The American spoke seriously noticing Stuart wasn’t able to keep visual contact with him anymore.

“W-what?” The singer stuttered, not expecting a question like that from all people, Ace.

”Do you love him, 2D?” Ace repeated, indifferent to his lack of understanding. Stuart was undeniably slow and he clearly didn’t want to talk about that topic now.

2D opened and closed his mouth a few times, thoughtfully. How could he respond to that? It was true that he had deep feelings for Murdoc, but was that rally… love? After all he had put him through ... The way he still mistreated him, lied to him, put all of them in danger even after so many years ... Murdoc would never change, he would never get better, Stuart knew that for sure. But he knew as well the feeling he had for him didn’t disappear at all.

"I think you love him." Ace declared with the same indifference seeing Stuart wouldn’t answer him properly, finally in an abandoned tin on the table tossing the rest of his cigarrete inside.

“Why?” Indirectly Stuart was admitting he loved Murdoc without saying it properly, Ace was really clever and quick to get what he wanted. Just like some other bass player with a wonky nose and the same green skin.

"What are you hiding under there?" He pointed to 2D's neck, which until then had been hiding it underneath the blanket he'd wrapped around himself.

"Uh… I'm not hiding anything." Stuart lowered his eyes, shrinking back in his chair defensively. He was the worst in lying and confused they were talking about love and now about his wounds. Ace was really getting under his skin faster than Stuart would prevent him.

“Nothing?” Ace spoke, leaning slowly closer him. "Then you won’t mind if I take a look." He said indifferently but not liking at all the fact Stuart was hiding something that seemed serious from him.

2D flinched like an eerie cat when he saw Ace's fingers approach the blanket. It reminded him from other green-man’s fingers going to the same place previously. However, even though he still had his reflexes ready to defend himself after Murdoc's near-stranglehold, Ace didn’t look threatening at all. So, slowly but hesitantly, he allowed him to remove the blanket from his injured skin, revealing bruises that seemed like handprints all around the neck.

Ace sucked his own lips and raised his eyebrows when he saw that image, uncomfortable and surprised.

"I see," he said, touching one of the marks with his green finger, to which 2D grunted in pain. "A little worse than I imagined you meeting each other again after so long apart..." and closed his wounded neck again with the blanket. He sat down on the chair beside him.

"You're judging-" Stuart tried to start. He knew pretty well Ace wasn’t but he didn’t want his opinion about him and Murdoc’s issues. Who the American thought he was to talk about his relationship with Murdoc? 20 fucking years of friendship and Ace barely knew him for 8 months?

“Judging?” Ace laughed, shaking his head. He stopped his eyes on the pale hands of 2D, who fidgeted in a clearly sign of nervousness. "I respect you, 2D." He looked at him from his hands to his face.

"I'm no one to say anything about your private life or who you have a relationship with. However, those cops didn’t buy your lies. You just gave them the assurance that Murdoc is really here. They will come back for sure, and it won’t take long for that.” He spoke looking directly into Stuart’s white full of despair eyes.

“Will they?” Stuart gulped like a lost child not wanting to believe the American’s words, separating his hands, and straightening his spine. “How do you know?” He frowned a bit to Ace, he wasn’t someone that could predict future.

Ace smiled bitterly, looking at him. There was no need to answer him; he had the face of someone who had already dealt with the police for more than once. Ace just like Murdoc, had been arrested over and over again; had already escaped and returned to jail countless times, with each time a worse sentence that he never followed till the end. Watching that expression, 2D nodded, knowing he was together with someone far more experienced than himself when it came to that kind of question.

“What should I do, Ace?” 2D whispered hesitantly, running his eyes across the table as if searching for an answer there.

"You're putting your friends at risk, your family, 2D, knowing where Murdoc is and hiding him still. You’re not stupid Stuart, you know pretty well what you’re doing. We need to get him out of here. Take him to my apartment.” He offered as if it was the most intelligent and reasonable thing to be done in that situation.

Stuart's expression turned into complete shock. His eyes became a bright white with fear. Murdoc despised Ace; indeed, even Stuart himself didn’t know about Ace's extent of trust. What if he was planning something on his own?

“B-but ...” The singer even tried to argument but he didn’t have any good reason why Murdoc shouldn’t go there to hide himself better and leave his family outta this mess.

"If your friends don’t know where Murdoc is, they won’t take any risks. When the cops return to this house, they will find nothing. The only people at risk will be me ... And you. "He smiled, shrugging and clearly trying to convince the naïve singer. "And if you're no longer living here, they will suspect less that you’re covering up Murdoc." He tried to show all the positive points to the singer.

“So… Are you inviting me...” Stuart tried to understand what was happening there.

“To live with me.” Ace spoke nonchalantly. It was actually to live with them… Him and Murdoc in a tone of “take it or leave it.” Like he wouldn’t accept a no from Stuart.

2D slammed his back against his chair, stunned. He ran his hands over his face and hair, thinking of that possibility. When Ace spoke, he made everything seem so simple ... His power of persuasion clearly going unnoticed by the blue idiot.

"Me, you, and Doc," the bassist laughed ironically. "Doesn’t that sound like the power trio?" He smiled evilly to Stuart knowing pretty well he had already convinced him with just a few words. He was clever and mean as Murdoc to get what he wanted.

Stuart was in a dead end. Maybe if he was smarter he could discuss with Ace about it, but even now, he was cold sweating. 2D was exhausted after putting his friends in danger and was tired of being judged by them. Living with Ace couldn’t be that bad, could it? After all, he would be only a few blocks away from them if they needed him ...

Shaking, he nodded, relieved that ,at least, he had made up his mind.

Ace seemed pleased with his answer. He widened his crooked smile and patted his shoulder lightly, then stood up.

"The sooner we leave, the sooner we can adjust the details.” He pointed at him. “You tell him the news, right?” And with that Ace was already walking out the kitchen, leaving the singer with his own troubled thoughts unable to turn back now.

Everyone would probably judge 2D as an idiot, however, his idiocy had its limits. His coexistence with Murdoc had reduced his innocence in some degree. Moreover, before Ace stepped out of the kitchen, his voice hoarse again appeared.

“Ace ...” The singer shyly called for him one last time.

Ace stopped by the door, but it took him a while for him to turn around and look at 2D. Stuart lowered his gaze, watching his own fingernails trying to wipe away some of the dirt on the table, a clear sign of nervousness.

"You don’t know Murdoc," he murmured, his face warm from embarrassment of knowing pretty well who the Satanist was. In a much intimate way than Ace should be thinking. "Why do you want to help us?" He lifted his eyes trying to look for Ace’s pink ones, trying to look for some truth inside them.

Ace sighed and turned his back to him. He leaned against the doorframe and shoved his hands into his trouser pockets, thoughtful. Silence preceded his next words; when they came, they were hurt and showed a menacing tone that made Stuart feel his spine freezing.

_"So I can talk to Murdoc next time he dares laying a finger on you.”_


	3. Post-sex, alcohol and ... Murdoc

When the police scoured the house in search of him, Murdoc barely heard them from downstairs in the basement he was in. He'd been walking in circles since he'd been thrown in that basement, and his nervousness wasn’t just the police chase, it wasn’t just because he risked being thrown back behind those infernal bars; He had become accustomed to being arrested from time to time, but ... For _everything_. The last events had messed up his mind. He definitely didn’t want to stay away from Stuart again, and that thought made his dark heart tighten in despair. If it was taken again, I knew it would be game over for them.

Seeing Ace’s photos on the kitchen wall had messed up his head. As much as he already knew about his replacement in the band and how much the American was younger, more talented, more handsome, charismatic and how much he had conquered all of the band and fans, the kitchen mural should be something sacred, shouldn’t it? That meant Ace son of a bitch Copular had joined the family already, right? Steal it from him… That Murdoc had no place in Gorillaz, that there was no place for him in Stuart's life. This conclusion tore the bottom of his soul - or what was left of it.

Yes, apparently Ace had taken his place whole. Reaching that conclusion sent shivers down his spine. And now, while Murdoc was forced to hide in the basement of his own house like a rat, Ace probably had his filthy feet on his couch. Or with his filthy paws on his singer. This mental image caused him to run his hands over his face repeatedly, disturbed, trying to think of anything else; but that wasn’t working at all. The house was cold, but Murdoc was sweating.

He was sweating so much from nervousness that he tore off that disgusting orange T-shirt that he was forced to wear while incarcerated. He had spent so much time without seeing his own image that when his eyes fell on the large dusty mirror of the basement, Niccals suddenly stopped his little breakdown paying attention to it.

His ugly beard, the messed hair, the deep dark circles under his eyes... Would that be white hair appearing as well...? Moreover, it wasn’t just that. There was something inside his eyes, something he hadn’t seen for a long time. An increasing loathe that made his muscles tense and his throat dry in such a way that only good old whiskey could save him. Niccals saw there a will, a deep desire to hurt, tear apart, destroy things ... or _people._

Disturbed, he averted his eyes from the mirror already feeling the urge to shatter it to pieces. Even his own reflection angered him, how broken, unhappy, old and helpless he looked just a shadow of who he used to be; this left him in a violent crisis of self-loathing for some minutes. He didn’t think he would reach his 50s in that decaying state, a fugitive, a prisoner in his own home. Pathetic.

He thought of 2D that same day and how his fingers closed tightly around that pale throat ... He thought of Noodle. His daughter

Something had happened to him. Something in the jail had broken him. He rummaged around the basement trying to shift the focus of his attention for a moment until he found an old bottle of whiskey that had certainly been baptized with something else. The appearance wasn’t good, much less the color, much less the taste or its smell. However, when Murdoc felt the liquid burn down his throat, he felt a little better, nothing else mattered. He felt ... _alive_. For the first time in long and painful months.

Therefore, he slided his body down on the floor with his back against the wall and drank, chugged that bottle into his thirsty mouth. He felt sorry for himself and remained there for a few minutes washing himself in self pity, perhaps hours, between waking and dozing off to the drunkenness that was already coming, when he heard the sound of a steps coming towards him.

That was it, it was time. He would be dragged back to the damned jail and Ace would end up taking his place, his family, his band, his existence. In no time, nobody would remember who was Murdoc Niccals ... This was his destiny and he knew he deserved it. Or he would be dragged back to hell, from where he should never have left. Except for the fact that when he opened his eyes Murdoc didn’t see the police.

He saw a middle-aged man with blue hair and holes in the place of his eyes. Dressed in a sweatshirt, short jeans, feet with socks and a scarf around his wounded neck, 2D was right there, right in front of him. He looked at him hesitantly and held one of his own elbows thoughtfully.

"Ahm ... Murdoc?" He tried to look to his eyes, realizing the drunken state the older man was in. How long was he up there so Murdoc could get that drunk? Everything was so messed up now ...

"Dents ...?" Murdoc blinked his eyes and ran his hands over his face, trying to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating. However, of course he wasn’t; he was far from the level of drunkenness he needed to be hallucinating, and what was in front of him it was too soft to be one of his disturbing hallucinations.

Stuart glared worriedly at the bottle and at Murdoc, uncertainty deepening in his face.

"Murdoc ... I need to talk to you." He tried to sound more assertive than he was, but fear and hesitation were evident in his voice. Nor did his position denounce the seriousness of the situation.

"You decided to turn me in." The older man said without blinking, already verbalizing what his twisted conscience screamed to himself. Maybe this way the acceptance would be faster, wouldn’t it? He laughed bitterly, taking another sip to drown his own thoughts with alcohol.

"W ... What?" 2D blinked, incredulous, shaking his head at the disturbed idea. "No, Murdoc. We need to get out of here. We need to get you out of here" he tried to argue, feeling his muscles tense as he saw he was drinking even more. That brought horrible memories to him. Stuart swallowed hard silently.

Therefore, that was it. They hadn’t decided to hand him over to the police, but instead were having the decency to throw him on the street again. Of course, what a joke believing even for a moment that Stuart would really help him after everything he had done to everyone. That was a fair payback he could tell.

Murdoc clicked his tongue into his mouth and was already getting ready to get up, with great difficulty due to his drunken state. Had been a real long while since he had drunk that amount of booze in such a short period of time. A pang of hate was growing into his chest, but nothing he couldn’t control, right? Nothing he couldn’t control. Until 2D completed:

"We have to ... Go ... With Ace." His replacement's name didn’t going out louder than a whisper, 2D knowing pretty well that could be the trigger for the time bomb that was Murdoc now.

He stopped halfway. Murdoc Niccals was now a man standing with a bottle of whiskey falling from his hand and crashing to the ground, almost breaking. The liquid escaped it and wet her feet, but he no longer felt. Oh, no, Murdoc felt nothing at all. His mind went blank as soon as he heard the name of that worm.

"W ... What?" It was his turn to ask, emotionless.

Stuart looked away and took a step back defensively, already knowing the gravity of what was to come. However, that didn’t stop him from uttering those rotten words, which clearly couldn’t be his idea...

"We ... we can’t stay here. Ace said the cops are not convinced you're not here. It's not safe ... They're going to come back and it shouldn’t take long, maybe today ... They will look around the area for you and ... "

At that point, Murdoc's expression was of a psychopath who lost consciousness, no turning back. So, as he waited for the end of the sentence, Stuart just lowered his now white eyes to the floor and spat out the rest of the information:

"We're going with him. Hide in his house. "He said as if he had the power to decide anything, as if Murdoc really couldn’t refuse his order.

The last light of Niccals's brain went out as he moved and grabbed 2D’s shirt collar in one movement, Stuart's back slamming against the wall and echoing through the basement, along with a yelp from the younger male. The claws of green hands clutched his collar so hard they scratched the palms of his hands, Murdoc's eyes lost in the disease of hatred.

"Your friend Ace, huh?" He babbled, no longer reasoning, hatred taking over his thoughts and actions as he pressed the younger's body until he felt lungs of 2D against his, reluctant to be filled with air .

"You're fucking... He's fucking you, isn’t he, Faceache? He fucks better than me, does he? Is that why you chose him? "And despite the trembling, hate-filled voice, it was no more than a whisper against the other's face smelling like whiskey. A whisper filled with grief and maybe even a hint of ... Jealousy? The sick image of Ace touching his singer, his Stuart invaded his mind, making him even more pissed.

Stuart barely heard him, because his concern now was to push, push the green body away from his, but he couldn’t. Murdoc's face was no longer his best mate's, it was contorted in a scowl of deep hatred, and 2D couldn’t face him at all. He was terrified of what Murdoc had become in a matter of few seconds. The cry of desperation rose in his throat as he struggled to breathe.

"No, Murdoc ... No ..." He tried to speak the truth with self-control, even though Murdoc, in the state he was in, wouldn’t hear his pleases. 2D’s tearful voice was anything but convincing at the moment.

At last, one of the green fists rose and turned in his direction. Stuart closed his eyes and used what was left of his strength to defend himself, both shaking arms covering his face. Tears were leaking from his eyes, and his throat erupted in sobs, his snotty nose making everything gross and heartbreaking. Silent requests of forgiveness escaped his lips before he could hold them back, involuntarily. However, there was no dialogue with Murdoc when that other creature made of pure hate took over his body, 2D knew.

Stuart hated himself so much now for being able to arouse so many dark emotions and such deep negative feelings in the person that he just wanted to love him, he wished he could make him happy. So we waited. He waited for the punch he certainly deserved, that he knew it would turn into a beat up… However for his surprise ... It didn’t come.

With the scarf of the youngest on the floor, Murdoc could see himself facing Stuart’s wounded neck. Mismatched eyes trembled in the hatred that consumed them, going from the singer's face to his neck over and over, as if Niccals tried to assimilate what was happening. That he did that to him. That voice in his head calling him a monster, that he wasn’thing more than a lost cause.

Finally, beside the hatred of those eyes, tears of sadness arose before Murdoc could manage to hold them back. All the evil he wanted to inflict on Stuart ... All the anger he felt of him ... Everything came all at once, associated with his reason in such a way that he was now sure: He was only a worsened copy of his father , nothing better than him. Stuart's face of dread denounced this truth. Those damned marks on his neck .... It was all his fault the voice kept telling him.

The claws of the green hands kept clawing at themselves in his closed fist, the pale 2D hands still covering the terrified face, but nothing happened. They were both frozen in their positions, even though Murdoc still wanted to hurt him. ShHe wanted to hurt him so bad, the voices in his head screamed to go ahead ... What was holding him back? Murdoc knew once his fist went against his cheek he wouldn’t be able to stop till he drained all his self-loathing on the younger singer.

The marks of his fingers on the pale neck haunted him, that was what made Murdoc stop. All those bruises were staring back at him making guilty wash his self, and suddenly it was no longer Stuart he saw. _It was himself_. A younger Murdoc, weaker, crying, begging for his father to stop, for mercy ... Not understanding why he hated him so much… Just like Stuart shouldn’t understand why he was so loathed that way.

Finally, 2D opened one eye to make sure what was happening with the other male. He saw the tears multiplying in the face of the elder. That made his arms finally abandon the defensive posture, his face assumed a confused and painful expression as he saw Murdoc crying. He opened her mouth to call him unable to understand what was happening, but there was no sound; something else caught his attention now ... How could Murdoc go from utter hate to sorrow so fast? What made him change that way so quick? He kept asking himself

Murdoc was finally there. Not the fugitive, not the aggressive alcoholic, not the impulsive asshole, not the man who needed to reestablish his dominance at all costs. Mismatched eyes were unarmed, and they watched 2D in the depths of theirs, as if they had so much to tell them, but so little to utter. There was the real Murdoc, hurt, sad, scared ... His Murdoc.

How long hadn’t he seen that Murdoc? How many nights in a row had he dreamed of him and went down to look for him in the kitchen, using his dried throat and glass of water as an excuse? Knowing pretty well he was hallucinating after an almost overdose of his pills ... The tears continued in Stuart's eyes, but they were no longer from fear. The atmosphere was no longer aggressive. Everything changed in a matter of some seconds

"Muds ..." he whispered after a sob, calling him and praying that Murdoc to never leave, he couldn’t disappear again. It would hurt too much ... He wanted to beg him to stay. Anything….

However, what part of that 2D obsession he still hadn’t understood? Murdoc's trembling, unsteady fist disintegrated, but the green hand closed on the young man's face, turning it to the side and opening the way for the bassist to reach his wounded neck.

There he ran his wet tongue over all those bruises, feeling 2D’d skin shudder at the trail of saliva he was leaving. He wanted to make him forget that unfortunate incident... He needed to show that he could change, that he could make him feel good ... He knew how sick he was to lick after almost punching him in the face, but the Stuart's hot skin called him silently.

It was too much of a pretense thinking he was in the control of the situation, Murdoc was also shaking. At that moment, Stuart knew that the elder was made of flesh and blood as well as himself, had feelings and a pulsing heart even if very well hidden. 2D almost felt blessed to be the only one capable of glimpsing this vulnerable and ... beautiful Murdoc.

" _You are mine, Dents_ ..." he whispered against the milky skin by his ear as he felt the blue hairs on his face. So soft, so fragrant, so different from his, smelly and greasy ... Yes, 2D’s hair was addictive and Murdoc missed it too. He had missed every tiny detail from his singer. Much more than he could admit. "You can only be mine ..." he finished sniffing his blue locks that smelled like butterscotch like always

Part of Stuart wanted to push him, but part wanted to be right there at his mercy. A hoarse groan escaped his this lips as he felt his body now turned toward the wall, one of Murdoc's legs slipping through his in a mute invitation. If he didn’t decide soon, 2D wouldn’t have time to make his decision. After so long without seeing him ... After so much time denying to himself that he wanted that ... Being able to really touch Stuart was like a dream he didn’t want to be awaken up. _Never._

It was better to pretend that he had no time to decide than to admit to himself that he wanted Murdoc stuck deep into his own body.

"Dents ..." He called him again, as if asking for permission. But of course he wasn’t; Murdoc wanted him and would have him now. The Satanist never had to ask for permission to that when it came to Stuart. He knew the singer would never deny him.

Stuart didn’t consent verbally, but his legs spread more silently, making room to the elder. All the previous tension had left him undeniably horny; the closeness to Murdoc, his smell, raw and rough...

One of his pale hands went back, grabbing Niccals's pants tightly so he wouldn’t go away. So that he wouldn’t stop now. He pulled him close by his belt making their bodies crash. Murdoc's sharp teeth opened in a winning smile, though he didn’t know if it was him or 2D who had won.

Desperate green fingers unzipped his jeans and pulled it down with Stuart's underwear, which already felt the basement climate in direct contact with his skin. Murdoc gasped against his neck, but after leaving him half naked, he moved away a little to watch for a moment the beauty in front of him. “Only mine” he whispered smirking deviously.

"M-Muds ..." he gasped, his face burning with embarrassment at the exposure, his hands instinctively trying to cover the intimate parts, but still wanting Murdoc more than anything now. He needed him desperately. Craved for the Satanist’s body and to feel he belonged to him. He wanted to say so many things, but the words had escaped his mouth, so that now he only repeated the Satanist's name as a mantra, as if begging for him.

Murdoc wanted to say his name back, but he couldn’t. Prison had made him no more than a thirsty and needy animal, and now that he saw the object of his desire within inches, the milky skin so warm and throbbing at his touch, he understood; he couldn’t wait a second.

He licked his green fingers as much as he could and positioned them at the young man's exposed entrance, the languid 2D moan filling the basement like a musical note. The groans turned into gasps as one of those fingers deepened its narrow passage, 2D now arching his back and writhing against the wall.

"Fuck, Dents ..." he moaned as he remembered the sensation he could never forget. Stuart was still tight and tasty even after he was older. "Mine ..." he whispered possessively as he fingered the younger male and bit his earlobe.

2D's face burned with embarrassment, but his body spoke for itself. His tight hole was already open to the touch of the bassist's fingers and became moist. At last, his fingers were removed from it to be replaced by Murdoc's throbbing cock.

Another loud groan preceded the movements that began. Stuart squirmed in pain and wince, panting as he moved his legs further apart, trying to shorten that painful period. He now offered full access to the Satanist as tears gathered in the corner of his empty eyes. Murdoc's cock stretched him mercilessly as his muscles attempted to pull him out, causing the bassist to grunt with pleasure.

"So tight ..." He thought to himself after every thrust. Stuart was still perfect for him. Made for Murdoc.

At each thrust, 2D moved his hip back and forth, as if they were nailed to each other. As he was calling the Satanist, proving that his earlier words were true, he really belonged to Murdoc and to him only.

 He raised his round ass as he knew the older man loved it when he did, eliciting indescribable feelings of nostalgia and making him increase the intensity and speed of his thrusts. At last, the pain became pleasure for both men.

The scent of sweat and the noise of flesh meeting flesh together with whines and moans were all that filled and echoed in that basement. Murdoc's hot alcoholic breath on the back of his neck made the singer roll his eyes in pleasure and just want him even more.

"Muds ... Please make me yours ..." He whispered through moans, already feeling the orgasm close, just like Murdoc.

To the Satanist, those marks on 2D’s neck, once provoked by a blind hatred, still disturbed him. His claws clung to the hips of the younger male mercilessly as if he wanted to mark him as his. No longer reasoning and only being driven by desire, he grabbed a fistful of blue hair from the singer and pulled his head to the side harshly, pulling out another moan of pleasure from him and revealing the beauty that lay in that red, sweaty face, that was previously facing the cold wall. That was his vision of Paradise.

Murdoc smiled, showing his sharp teeth without stopping his thrusts for a moment. It was delicious knowing Stuart was like that cuz of him. He looked again at those marks and sank his teeth into the crook of his neck without thinking twice, marking him again, driven by the desire to show Ace that Stuart had already an owner, that he knew how to do more than just hurt him; Murdoc knew, after all, to mark him with love bites when he wanted to.

Stuart, letting himself be carried away by his deepest masochistic instincts that only Murdoc knew, uttered a loud moan with that bite. His knees weakened and his cock throbbed. Murdoc definitely still knew how to drive him crazy. He knew how to do everything in the right way to reduce Stuart to mess of moans and screams of his name.

"Muds ... I ... I’m gonna ..." I said between pants, no longer holding on. It was all he wanted and craved eagerly, after all those months apart from the Satanist. All the aggression, the violence and the intensity which he had missed so much and knew that Ace would never be able to quench.

 The way his body reacted to the older’s male one, how much his heart was racing, and the sensations that Murdoc caused by touching his skin possessively, calling him his, his bites his claws ... It was Paradise being marked like that. He knew that the next day he wouldn’t be able to walk, but he didn’t care ate all.

Murdoc cum shortly after biting him. Seeing that red mark that caused a swelling in his lover's skin, his whole body was hit by an electric shock, much more intense than the several times he jerked off thinking about the man he now had made his once again.

The singer's hands that had previously hidden his private parts went to the wall for support when he felt Murdoc pressing his thin body against it and sinking his claws on his hips. His fingers curled with pleasure as he felt himself filled; the hairs on the back of his neck pricked up at the guttural, possessive grunt that escaped the Satanist’s throat as he came hot and deep inside him.

Stuart, trembling, was already preparing for the feeling of emptiness that he knew would come after Murdoc had his orgasm, when he knew that he would pull outta him silently and look for his clothes alone, leaving him painfully hard and helpless, forcing him to have to relieve himself with his own hand. He sighed, thinking of that possibility, his trembling hand already going down to touch his cock, before the excitement passed.

Murdoc was still coming out of the trance when he realized what the younger male was doing and was quick to act. He smiled wickedly once more and turned Stuart around to face himself, which made the damaged brain of the singer dizzy with the sudden movement. He hadn’t cum, but his blood flow was all directed to his lower parts, preventing him from reasoning.

"Muds, what ...?" He tried to argue, thinking the elder would punish him for touching himself or something. He didn’t stop jerking himself off, feeling that if he didn’t cum now, Murdoc wouldn’t let him do it later.

 He closed his eyes and tried to focus on good thoughts involving the Satanist, just as he did when Murdoc was in prison. He didn’t want to think about the abandonment that would come now as he had to search for his own pleasure alone. It was very humiliating. Murdoc's cum flowed down his legs, hot and thick. Stuart bit his own lip, thinking of the previous moments, while Murdoc was still fucking him. So good, he felt so complete ... Could he even feel ... Loved?

Murdoc disliked the young man's attitude, acting as if he was alone in there. He momentarily remembered the times when he'd really abandon 2D, forcing him to relieve himself alone not giving him attention at all. He cursed himself mentally for not making him satisfied with sex, Murdoc, who called himself a Sex God, what a joke ... But well, he was a jerk. Even after all those awful times, Stuart had come back to himself over and over again wanting more.

He pressed his 2D cheeks together with his fingertips, forcing him to open his eyes. He wanted to be different now "Look at me, Dents. I want you to look at the man who owns you." He said like an order in his deepest, husky voice, which made the singer stop immediately jerking and got lost in those eyes hidden beneath his dense fringe. Eyes that once glittered in hatred, but which were now pure lust and desire.

Stuart nodded, feeling his heartbeat rising again. The truth was that he was crazy about Murdoc, completely in love with the man in front of him. He licked his lips before they met the older man's ones in a wet, needy, hot kiss filled with passion. He shoved his hand inside his mouth possessively trying to take him away from his own thoughts.

He moaned against his bassist's mouth, his cock throbbing and desperately needing attention now, going from uncomfortable to really painful. He thought of touching himself again when Murdoc slapped his hand violently.

"Don’t you dare," he said again in command, breaking the kiss and seeing the fear in the other's eyes. Did Murdoc want to punish him? That was very cruel. Stuart whimpered.

"Muds ... please ... I need to cum ..." He begged, which was music to Murdoc's ears. What he liked most about sex and missed, having the most fanciful fantasies, was the voice and face that his singer made when he begged for him. It was so, so beautiful.

Stuart closed his eyes when more tears were already gathering and threw his head back in a sore sigh. Would him be left unattended and with a throbbing erection, and why would Murdoc deny his orgasm? He was trying to save him, that wasn’t fair ...

When he opened his eyes again and looked down, all he could do was moan loudly and lean more comfortably against the wall, feeling his knees weak as he felt Murdoc's lick the tip of his cock teasingly. His wet member was now leaking pre cum like an open faucet, to the pleasure of the Satanist.

With a shaking hand, 2D caressed the scruffy beard and messed gready hair of the older man, a mute thank-you for giving him an attention and a permission to relieve himself. Murdoc was quick to swallow it at once obediently. He grabbed his thighs from behind for support, not stopping for a second the wet and slopy blowjob that had already begun over Stuart's cock.

Each time he was swallowed, his singer cried out his name in pleasure and gently pulled his hair, holding himself not to say that he loved him. He didn’t want to ruin everything with his silly feelings; after all, what they had there was merely carnal, Stuart knew, all that was fruit of desire, longing and ... Nothing else. But even so, it was so delightful to look down and see Murdoc indulging his cock in his mouth, his expression of pure delight and satisfaction, tasting and savoring his length ...

It didn’t take long for Stuart to cum. He tried to push Murdoc away but he insisted on making him cum in the back of his throat, swallowing it all up. He missed the taste of 2D; so lame that he licked his fingers and wiped the corner of his mouth with a lascivious smile as he stood up again all the way his eyes glued on the singer’s face like he was proud of his work.

Stuart gasped in despair for some air, his face gleaming deep red. Now that the blood was reestablishing in his body, that bite began to bleed and radiated pain through his neck and chest, momentarily bringing the singer back to reality after going to the clouds and coming back with that mouth he had missed so much.

He opened his eyes, holding them half closed as he felt the Satanist pulling up his pants and putting his belt back on, trying to situate himself in the situation he was in. It was so good he missed Murdoc so bad. He needed a monumental strength to stand up straight after the overwhelming orgasm that Murdoc had provided him. He was glad the Satanist took time to dress himself back again.

"Get your shit together, Dents, we have to leave soon," he said seriously as he put back up his own pants, acting with absolute indifference and as if nothing had happened.

The singer, still stunned, massaged his neck, finding blood in that bite. Now he could no longer deny that Murdoc was at home. He wanted to talk to him so much; they needed to talk, he knew it, but 2D didn’t have the strength to do it now. Besides, it would only ruin the moment. No words needed when his actions spoke louder than they.

"Leave?" He said still confused, now finally leaving the wall and combing his sweaty, disheveled hair with his fingers. He needed to improve his appearance to a minimum to meet others; couldn’t just show up with a post-sex face, smelling of alcohol and ... Well, Murdoc.

Stuart couldn’t think straight. His thoughts were shards scattered on the floor. Even now, he watched Murdoc for a moment and lost himself in the beauty of the older man still shirtless. His chest, arms, back… When Murdoc earned all those muscles? His throat went dry and he licked his lips, waiting for an answer watching him walk around the room.

"To Ace’s place, dumbass ..." He said with a crooked smile, although still suspecting that Ace and 2D were sleeping together. Ace wouldn’t be a threat to Murdoc after all; it was Murdoc who should be feared as a threat. In the end, 2D was his - and now, the Satanist would be more than happy to show Ace who Stuart belonged to.

Murdoc felt ... Alive.


	4. A Troublesome Stay

Stuart had to take two painkillers to deal with what was about to come that night.

The clock showed half past two when some movements began inside the house. Through the bedroom window, 2D saw Ace's shadow on the street, a green man in a heavy leather coat and a bonnet that omitted most of his face. Was it cold or was he hiding on purpose?

The lead singer hadn’t heard from Russell until then, concluding that he should have fallen asleep. Noodle, after rummaging through the house repeatedly behind Murdoc's whereabouts, she had locked herself in her bedroom and played some lost passages of indecipherable music from her guitar trying to kill time and find sleep.

This was the perfect time for a silent escape, 2D knew that; maybe it was his only, his last chance. A sense of guilt plagued his heart for going out like that, without warning Russel, without saying goodbye to Noodle ... That wasn’t fair with them that had put up with his shit for the last few months without Murdoc around.

He knew that he was doing his best for their sake, but that didn’t stop him from writing a short farewell letter. It was the least he had to do to warn them, and he sincerely hoped they wouldn’t be angry with him. The best decision was to go quietly, because if he woke someone up, he knew the two of them would try to dissuade him from his idea at all costs.

 

_I’m sorry._

_We are going to a safe place and not too far away._

_I promise to talk to you guys as soon as I can._

_2D._

A stupid note, written quickly with his unreadable handwriting, in a moment of desperation. Stuart would like to say a lot more to them, apologize for everything maybe. Noodle's silence had torn the bottom of his soul apart the last few days, while the guitarist had refused to direct a word to him. But anyway, the circumstances weren’t good for a farewell. Anyway, it was time to leave.

Most of his backpack consisted of his meds, pajamas, and band-aids, many of which had already spread through his body in order to cover the damage done by Murdoc that afternoon, believing that covering himself in bandages would draw less attention of others. One more of his stupid ideas.

Still, even if he could hide the wounds from his body, he couldn’t fix his limping body, not even the inside of his mind, which was now a well of deep confusion. He hoped that Ace could really help them, because he would miss his old life a lot, that house, his memories of that place ... But the decision was already made.

He was trembling as he tried to light a cigarette that was already in his mouth, waiting eagerly for the effect of the pills; he needed to feel the numbness to have the courage to go ahead with that crazy plan. The uncertainty of what the meeting between Murdoc and Ace would be, he now also had the uncertainty of what would happen between himself and Murdoc.

A casual sex shouldn’t imply anything; but how to assume for himself that sex had been only casual when those moments had awakened in him such deep feelings towards the Satanist he swore he had buried them inside him and forgotten?

As much as he wanted to deny himself, he had had to hold his tongue many times to keep himself from telling Murdoc that he loved him. He finally discovered how he felt about the bassist after months apart, but judging from his strangled-welcome he knew his feelings could never be reciprocated.

Murdoc was only in a great pit of lust and desire, much more after so much time being deprived of that carnal pleasure. It was just that. Therefore, it would be better for the blue idiot get used to that idea.

Such disturbing thoughts made him pull the cigarette smoke so hard that Stuart gasped with his own drag. Was it possible he couldn’t do anything right? Inconsolable, he ended up tossing his cigarette through the bedroom window, put the pack into his pocket, and went out into the hallway, taking one last look at his room and sniffing, trying his best not to look so broken.

His dark circles under his equally dark eyes were deeper, but Stuart had no time to look in the mirror. Tiptoeing again to not wake his friends up, he left the letter addressed to Noodle in front of her door and went down the stairs. He couldn’t wait any longer; if that happened, Murdoc would be able to see that Ace was already at the door of the house, that he was already waiting for them, and if that happened ...

He stopped halfway down the steps, perplexed by what he saw downstairs. Two green men stared at each other in front of the house. Niccals, dressed in sweatshirts that were definitely not his size, had a hood covering his face like a homeless man; the expression on his face was of an afflicted animal, a savage beast who was obliged to submit to the whims of a second one.

Ace, with that imposing black leather jacket and hands shoved in the pockets of his black trousers, stared at Murdoc back with a minimal but victorious smile on his lips. He seemed to notice the fact that the great Murdoc Niccals needed his help after all those years. Depended on him.

Murdoc's situation was pathetic, pitiful ... But to Ace, it was a big stroke to his Ego. It was reaching the conclusion that Murdoc was now only a shadow of what had once been; was wasted.

Stuart blinked, trying to understand the situation he was seeing in front of him.

Did they talk to each other already? Had they greeted each other? Had they changed a few words? Did they talk about him or anything that had happened previously? 2D didn’t know, nor could ask; he had no courage for it at all. From the mutual posture, it seemed to him that they had just met and hadn’t yet spoken to each other yet, but still ... The atmosphere of the place made his heart race. The expression on Murdoc's face was dark, but restrained.

If there had been any wrong approaching... Any malicious exchange of words.... Any misunderstanding.... The singer's heart ached, thinking of all the bad possibilities; his anxiety taking the best of him.

"Mur ... doc!" He tried to call, losing his balance on the stairs and falling miserably down some steps of it.

He rolled one, two, three, four, seven steps. It was fortunate that he wasn’t at the top of the stairs, but the fact was that his fall caused such a loud crash that the noise echoed through the house and the back part of his neck slammed painfully on the last of those steps. Sometimes Stuart wondered how he survived after so many repeated accidents.

A chorus of the voices of those green men reached his ears, one of them shouting "2D!" While the other shouted "Dents!" Both seeming concerned about his state - which was abnormal for Murdoc, who should be laughing now pointing to him and calling Stuart stupid, but not to Ace, who had always taken care of Stuart while Murdoc was away…

Either way, none of them came in time to rescue him, and when they finally reached the body that now whimpered on the ground, they appeared on each side of the singer trying to see if he was hurt.

"M-Murdoc ... Shit ..." Stuart groaned, running one of his hands over the nape of his neck where he would surely get a bump and analyzed if he had broken anything after that fall. It would be wonderful on the day of escape for Ace's house to have to stop at the hospital with fractures. Fortunately, it didn’t seem anything serious.

He felt the Satanist's hand pulling him up so that he could sit on the floor at the bottom of the stairs and finally leave that lying position, still whimpering and rubbing the recent wounds. Ace, behind his iconic shades, analyzed the absurd amount of band-aids through the slender body of the singer ... That wasn’t normal, he would ask him about that later.

"Ah ..." He blinked his eyes tightly, feeling everything around him turn. "I don’t know what happened, I ..." he tried in vain, as always, to apologize, even though it was an accident caused by his clumsiness. He just didn’t want any of them mad at him, especially with the possibility of waking up the whole house by falling like a rotten fruit down the stairs.

"Did you hurt yourself?" Ace intervened, looking more closely at one of the arms that was now gaining a new purple mark. The approach made Stuart blush and he pulled his arm against his chest, embarrassed.

He knew Ace would see the bandages and marks that hadn’t been from the accident ... Murdoc glared at him when he saw Ace touching his singer. Jealousy was already present as he tried to be good boy for 2D.

"No, I ..." Stuart looked at the two men feeling like a trapped prey, Ace touching him and Murdoc killing him with his glance. Even if the look of hate wasn’t directed at him, he couldn’t help but feel intimidated by the two so close. His cheeks burned even more, stopping him from finishing the sentence.

"You hit your head, Faceache." Niccals concluded with a very angry look and as if Stuart fallen on purpose. He ran his hand over the back part of his neck, throbbing with pain. He placed the young man's head a little down, leaving his neck more apparent, "Distracted idiot ..." He grunted, irritated.

"Wait, Murdoc ..." Stuart said with his whimpering voice, now even more nervous with both of them touching him at the same time and his neck killing him. Murdoc’s touching wasn’t as gentle as Ace, it made him scared. He felt himself hyperventilating, damn time when he decided to roll down the stairs right in front of them. All he wanted now was for all that attention to stop.

"My God," Ace's voice mumbled.

His pink eyes widened behind his shades, fixed not on Stuart's new bruises, but on the deep bite mark he'd gained from Murdoc earlier that day. Now, it was purple and swollen, the marks of the old man's sharp teeth quite apparent, no chance of giving an excuse to be anything else that not a bite.

 Of course, Ace had no way of knowing that this was the result of an intentional act; in his opinion, was only a bruise that was bleeding intensely and could very well have been done shape of it didn’t favor his theory at all. Why hadn’t Stuart already took care of that? Always needing someone to take care of him ...

"Oh my God, this is ..." _Bleeding a lot_ , he would have said. But he didn’t complete the sentence, because as soon as he reached out to touch the wound that burned in 2D, he received in his hand a violent slap from the second green hand.

He looked at Murdoc with confusion, who looked at him as if he was capable of devouring him alive and grunting like an animal defending his offspring. His pupils were doubled in size, such was his fury. Ace had already touched his singer too much for one night.

"Don’t you dare touch it, Copular," Niccals murmured slowly, then threw his hand away from Stuart, who watched them all stunned, afraid the two of them would start a fight right in front of him.

The damaged brain of 2D could hardly understand what was going on there. His wide eyes were staring from one to the other, unable to notice or understand what was happening. His face burned with shame as he now scratched his head, not because it actually itched, but because he didn’t know what to do with his trembling hands. His neck and that bite were killing him, but he swallowed the pain to take care of the situation.

"It's okay, Murdoc ..." he muttered, trying to sort out the mess. But it didn’t succeed.

"Shut the fuck up, Dents." Was the bitter answer Niccals gave him, not even bothering to face him. His mismatched eyes were fixed on Ace and they burned, burned with hatred. "Don’t interfere," he ordered, still glaring at the American.

Ace Copular, however, was used to situations like that. He opened his wide, charismatic smile in the direction of Niccals, and it was then that the Satanist realized how cunning, how dangerous and how political Ace could be, unlike the singer who was shaken by any action of the elder. Ace stood impassive and even calm, no trace of fear in his features. In fact, there was almost a hint of ... satisfaction. Yes, Ace loved to see Murdoc mad while he knew that the real feeling behind that blind fury was jealousy, fear, envy.

"Hello, Murdoc," he hissed in that provocative smile. "I don’t think we've actually said hello. Long time no see, friend... "He looked him up and down, measuring every inch of that body wearing really ridiculous sweatshirts for his essence.

"It seems that jail didn’t do you any good, fellow." He said, full of disdain, even knowing that he had been arrested more or less the same amount of times as Murdoc and he still lavished joviality, unlike that wrecked old man. Point to Copular.

 _That worm ... That fucking piece of crap_ ... Niccals' mind kept repeating itself. He wanted to take that damn smile off his face and break his pointy nose with a violent punch more than anything now.

The green fists closed in on themselves, ready to attack. Murdoc's breathing became deep and hard, the gleam in his gaze taking on an increasingly threatening shine. However, as much as he was now in the urge to tear off those petulant eyes of Ace with his own hands, the melodious voice of 2D burst into the air:

"Please help us," Stuart said quietly, trying to sound as calm as possible and catch the attention of the two present before they attacked each other.

Niccals lost his concentration and looked at him in disbelief. What the fuck was 2D doing? Trying to demoralize him in front of that fucker? Trying to put Murdoc into a stupid position of submission, as if he could only survive in that world through the contemptible favor of Ace Copular? He knew Stuart would submit to this and anyone because of his sweet nature, but drag him along to the bottom of the well? That was too much. He looked at the singer now with his anger directed at him.

The singer’s head bowed and his expression was desperate and regretful, his voice making itself heard once more, just so he could repeat, for the American’s orgasm ...

"Please, help us ... We need to save Murdoc."

He wanted to say, "I need to," but tried to call for emotional blackmail with the American before he gave up on his previous offer. They were almost outside, the middle of a cold night ... They wouldn’t go back to the original positions now, would they? He bit his lips with the remain of his broken teeth and looked at Ace silently waiting his anger.

One of his pale hands settled on his green fist, silencing Murdoc. Stuart looked at him out of the corner of his eye, very hurt; almost reprimanding him. But was he scolding Murdoc for fighting with Ace when he saw him trying to touch something that was actually his ...? Something told him that this coexistence would be hell ... Murdoc was angry even with Ace touching that bite.

If hatred was a disease, Murdoc was now infested. The will to break and tear things apart was back into his veins, and he was shaking now, trembling as he bit his own lip with his sharp teeth because Stuart was putting him in that situation and there was no way out of it.

Ace deepened the triumphant grin that almost went from ear to ear now, this time looking at his opponent as if he really owned it; with that simple question, 2D signed his defeat.

The game was over and the victory was his; after all, Niccals was so lost, that now 2D was obliged to ask Ace not to reconsider his generosity and thus to remain with the invitation up. Stuart begged the new bassist to keep the invitation that had, in fact, always been his.

"Of course, 2D ... Let's go to my house. You'll be welcome there. "He licked his lips and finally touched the wound that was bleeding on Stuart's neck, which Murdoc grunted with hatred, but didn’t do anything. Ace continued, "There we can deal with your injuries ... And a place for Murdoc and you both stay, of course. We're not going to leave you two on the street at all…" he said triumphantly. The feeling of humiliating Murdoc was even better than he thought it would be.

Ace got up off the floor and reached out for 2D, who after a short hesitation, accepted his hand for support. They walked side by side towards the exit door, one of the new bassist's arms around his shoulder as Stuart now looked back, trying to establish some eye contact with Murdoc.

Either way, they didn’t have another option, had they?

 

-

 

Murdoc followed a little behind the other two, trying to control himself so he wouldn’t attack the American behind his back. Yes, it would be really low not giving him a chance to defend himself; but he had learned some things in prison after all. Even so, he didn’t do anything against Ace in the short walk that separated them from the building where Ace lived.

It was only three streets away, but they were enough for Murdoc to plan how to kill Ace in a million different ways. As for Stuart, he tried to disengage himself from the bassist's arm around his shoulders, but it was useless; Ace was strong and he needed help to walk without limping ... The American was strangely comfortable to be around.

When they reached his place, Murdoc suppressed an expression of astonishment. Ace's apartment was modest, but it was beautiful and well arranged. Murdoc was even more pissed off when he remembered where his replacement used to live before joining Gorillaz; a slum, a pigsty he used to share with his gang. Obviously, he had only managed to move to that new place on Gorillaz's behalf; and this caused in Niccals a new wave of hatred, since Ace seemed to have given way to his own life happily and rich while old Murdoc rotten in jail.

They went upstairs to his apartment, number 623. Stuart was shaking because of the cold night and Murdoc was fuming with hate, trying to control himself. He wanted to be anywhere in the world, except there. He hated even more the fact that he really had nowhere to go and that seemed to be his only – and the best -  option. Coming from Stuart, talking about good sense was odd ... But apparently, Murdoc would now have to obey him. Thinking that he would end up like this in his 52 ...

"Home sweet home..." He said, laughing and showing the place to Murdoc. It consisted of a living room, a kitchen, a balcony and two suites; in one of them, a king sized bed, and in the other, a single bed. Stuart glanced around and put his backpack on the couch. He had already gone to Ace's house when he was still furnishing it, and was even happier to see how beautiful the place had become after him finishing the decoration job. He smiled at the good taste of American decor.

Murdoc just looked down with his hands shoved into the pockets of his sweatshirt, caring little whether it was well decorated or not. When he realized that he had brought nothing along with him but the clothes on his body, he imagined that he would have to wear Ace or Stuart's clothes and use their things…

It was something to him even more humiliating than living in someone's house. It was really at the bottom of the well. He had to find a way to get his things back if they still existed in the old house as soon as possible. He hadn’t prepared himself for a proper escape, big mistake. He grunted alone, sitting on the couch without even asking permission to.

Ace just frowned and narrowed his eyes at the lack of Satanist manners. Despite knowing him for long, now he was in his house; things had changed from when they were younger and it was time for Murdoc to follow his rules.

"Your place is really nice, Ace ..." Stuart said as he saw his expression of disgust staring at Murdoc, he wanted to avoid a fight at all costs and was exhausted by then. Soon the sun would start to rise and all he wanted was a little rest. He wasn’t asking too much, was him?

"I'm glad you liked it, Stewie ..." He said smiling immediately at the singer's compliment. Murdoc heard this nickname and his blood boiled again, even nicknames they had between them? How bold. Still, he chose to remain silent, looking out the window at the moon that appeared behind dark clouds. It was an undeniably beautiful night for the tension of the place, which could easily be cut with a ... Knife. A cold wind blew the three man making Murdoc shiver.

"You must be tired after all this ..." Ace said, pulling off his coat and placing it behind the door. "Doc, you can go to the guest room." He pointed the direction to the older man who just rolled his eyes at him giving orders. He hated most of all to have to obey him. At least he wouldn’t sleep on the couch or on the floor, as he had been doing in the basement. "And Stu, you're going with me to my room," he added sternly, as Stuart's eyes widened.

"What…?" Murdoc turned to the American, grabbing the side of the sofa and digging his claws into it, ruining the material of it. Ace snorted at that, even though he was glad he had provoked the reaction he wanted. Stuart stared at them, his throat dry, unable to say anything.

"Exactly what you heard, Doc. You’re in my house, so I decide where you're going to stay and how things gonna be." He said seriously, glaring at him. "You can wear some of my clothes in the drawers and preferably take a shower before bedtime. I don’t want you dirtying my bedclothes ... " He spoke looking at him again with disgust.

"No fucking way." Murdoc grunted back, ready to stand up and break Ace's cynical face. Stuart simply stood in front of him, between both man, stopping him.

"Murdoc." He called sternly. "Ace is just helping us, a lot actually, by letting us stay here for some time ... He's even lending you clothes and a bedroom to sleep until we can get things better ... It's temporary, so please calm down .. "He said gulping, behind him Ace smiled and nodded, agreeing with the singer. It wouldn’t be forever that situation…

"Please don’t create any more problems now, okay? We're all tired, a night's sleep is all we need, isn’t it? " He looked at Ace, who just nodded. Stuart smiled weakly at both of them, grabbing his backpack and going to Ace's room, ready to take a shower. Maybe now they could be alone for a moment, right?

Murdoc was breathing hard, adrenaline burning into his veins and already knowing that, under that roof with Ace, he wouldn’t be able to sleep. He looked at Stuart while he went away, and his heart ached, wondering if it would be better to sleep on the street by now or look somewhere else where he didn’t have to see them together. He wanted to ask Stuart to sleep with him on the couch on the floor… Any place that not with… Ace.

He was burning with jealousy. He didn’t have to involve the blue idiot in a problem that was his. He knew that Stuart trusted Copular, and that detail as well, made him sick.

"Doc ..." Ace called him a lot calmer now, taking off his shades to look him straight in the eye. "I'm really doing you a favor here, I offered Stuart this option and he agreed. He asked me to do it and I couldn’t deny it to him after so many good times we spent together while you were gone. "He said with a wicked grin, approaching Murdoc.

"You have my word that I won’t hurt him." _Unlike you who already filled him with bruises_ , he held his tongue not to way that. "But as long as you’re living here, you'd better obey my orders and not make any trouble," he added, with his frown deepening, like a threat. "Or you want me to call the police saying that I know the whereabouts of the fugitive Murdoc Niccals, huh?" He laughed dryly, victorious.

"It would break 2D’s heart, watch you go away again ... is that what you want to do with him? Stu doesn’t deserve another disappointment like this ... "He folded his arms with his rhetoric. "Would you want to make him go back to the hospital because of a new accidental OD?" He brought this topic up on purpose to hurt Murdoc.

Murdoc was about to explode now from anger and hurt. The will to destroy everything came back to him like an flood inside himself. And this time he couldn’t do anything. He shook his head silently and looked down at the floor silently. Of course he didn’t want any of that to happen… And an OD? God… things had been rough while he was away… His claws by now were bruising the palms of his hand, so much violence he clenched his fists to be able to control himself.

"Very good, M." Ace concluded, grabbing a towel and handing it to Murdoc. "There's shaving cream and a razor in the bathroom, do yourself a favor and shave that beard, it's shit." He said in disgust, going into the bedroom and already hearing the shower noise, indicating that Stuart was taking a shower by now. Before he entered and closed the door, he lastly spoke to Murdoc.

"If you want to have a drink, there's Rum in the fridge." He pointed at it with his thumb, finally trying to be hospitable. "If you're hungry, I went for grocery yesterday. Feel at home, but ... remember you’re not. "He smiled wickedly, knowing that Murdoc wouldn’t sleep at all that night. "Good night, Doc." And he closed the door behind him before the Satanist could answer.

Murdoc went into the room and allowed himself to have his breakdown. He punched the mattress until he felt his energies drain. He punched the walls, the floor, screamed muffled against the pillow ... And even contemplated the idea of drinking until he lost consciousness or forget that in the room next to Stuart was sleeping together with his worst nightmare. Why did it make him so upset? They hadn’t done anything, had they? It had been just sex...

He tried to shower and shave, almost cutting himself with the razor in the process, the hot shower not helping at all for him to calm down. He really did look better with a hairless face, but his expression wasn’t the best yet. He felt at least 20 years older than his biological age. He was exhausted and feeling like shit. He didn’t even want to eat anything, so angry and nervous he was.

Murdoc tried to lie down and face the ceiling until exhaustion won and he passed out into a sleep full of nightmares. Just like he was in prison alone, thinking about his singer till falling asleep. He thought about the moment they fucked… He tried to remember the sensation he felt that moment and… He was confused to remember feeling a bit more than just… desire… What was that?

Meanwhile, in the next room, Ace was quick to undress himself to get ready to sleep and turn on the heater to wait for the singer. Of course, he slept only with his underwear. Things were going the way he wanted, and that kept the winning smile on his lips. He found in his first aid box some ointment to help his bruises from the fall.

Stuart came some time later, wet haired, perfumed and wearing his blue pajamas that matched his hair. His angelic air and innocent appearance contrasted with the marks on his body, which denounced something more reprehensible; now without band-aids, the marks were even more evident, but the singer didn’t even care. He knew Ace wouldn’t judge him, would him? He smiled gently at Ace, who was lying down and waiting for him.

"Thank you, Ace ..." The singer said shyly holding out the towel and sitting next to him in the big bed with an exhausted sigh. He ran his hand over his face and hair nervously, which made the bass player sit next to him, one hand on his shoulder, rubbing it. This had already happened other times, in another situations when he had to console the nervous singer ... Normally, in an anxiety crisis missing Murdoc. Ace was already used to that.

Stuart sighed again and looked at him, forcing a smile. Ace smiled cordially back at him and hugged 2D to the side. He grabbed the ointment and started rubbing it on his neck softly. “This will ease the pain.” He told when he noticed the grimace he made from pain. He tried to be really carefully not to hurt him.

"Is everything okay, D?" He asked gently, to which Stuart just nodded silently, blatantly lying; nothing was right and something said that coexistence would be a challenge for the three men under the same roof. He would have to intervene to avoid a mutual murder and was already exhausted with only the first few hours.

"Could you tell me where those bruises came from?" He said, pointing at his neck, especially to that bite. "And why are you limping ...?" Stuart looked down and bit his lip, curing himself scared. He didn’t like all those questions at all.

"It was him, wasn’t it?" Ace snapped, looking annoyed, and Stuart waved another yes. "Why do you let him do this to you, 2D?" He asked, rubbing his shoulder as the other man at his side broke.

"I ... I missed him," he said in a whisper, as if it were a good excuse. "And ... he didn’t hurt me ... Us ... That was ..." He didn’t complete the sentence, knowing that Ace would understand that those marks weren’t from aggression but from a rough sex. Rough and good.

Ace nodded silently. "Do you regret that?" He asked, knowing that Murdoc could only have used and disposed the singer according to his taste when he well knew of Stuart's feelings about the Satanist. Even if he had an interest in 2D, Ace would never do anything like that with him.

Stuart shook his head, but his eyes were already filled with tears. He sobbed softly, unable to hold his cries. He didn’t regret the sex, it was good and satisfying, he was carried away by longing and desire ... But he regretted giving his heart to someone who had never been able to take care of it. Murdoc never cared about his feelings at all ... And now apparently it was no different.

He hid his face with his shaking hands and Ace was quick to hug him and put his face on his shoulder, rubbing his back to soothe him. He wanted to apologize for maybe having forced him with all those questions, but sweet words really weren’t his forte. Specially when he knew what was happening wasn’t right.

"You ..." Stuart stuttered, lowering his hands and closing his eyes briefly. "You're being too hard on him, Ace ..."

Ace bit his lips, uncomfortable with what the singer told him. Even so, for a brief second, he allowed himself to continue the soothing rubbing on the back of 2D, feeling that skin so ... Soft. So warm... So magnetic. Made him feel at home.

Even Stuart, feeling that subtle affection after so many scratches made by Murdoc, allowed himself to relax for the first time since he had arrived there. His breathing became slow and deep, deeper and deeper, his chest rising and falling slowly as he felt those sharp nails running so gently over his skin. Different from when Murdoc scratched him painfully.

"D ...?" Ace called in a softer voice, but just glanced sideways to make sure: 2D had fallen asleep over him. The stress he had been undergoing so far, and finally having the chance to relax for a second, he totally passed out.

His sleep seemed to be as light as a feather, and seeing those eyelids closed so delicately the American felt such a deep urge to ... Protect him. Stuart looked like a sleeping angel, and for a brief second, the bassist didn’t even feel worth touching that warm skin.

It was strange to see how that delicate creature suddenly became the center of everything. Ace smiled deviously, finally feeling sorry for Murdoc in the next room. Maybe Murdoc also suffered by the hands of that sleeping bird? Had they both fallen into the tricks of that lovely face?

Maybe his opponent left those marks on 2D just to have a revenge on all the pain he felt for not being able to understand how something so subtle and sweet could so violently shake his emotional state. Either way, Ace finally moved to lie down and cover the sleeping singer with his heavy blankets after wiping the remain of his tears on his face.

After long wishing for that, Stuart had fallen asleep in his bed, and yet ... Yet he didn’t touch him the way he had always wanted. He controlled himself, because nothing was worthy enough to interrupt that sleep so angelic.

This way, he turned off the lights and laid down next to 2D. He felt like an idiot. A man of his size, eating in the hands of a bird ...

He closed his eyes and fell asleep with the certainty that if Stuart asked him to be kinder to Murdoc, he would find it increasingly difficult to refuse.

Like Murdoc, Ace deep down was far, so stupidly far away, from being in control of anything.


	5. Pancakes and Cut Lips

Stuart woke up the next morning feeling like shit. Even though Ace had taken care of his wounds the night before, now that the sun was rising, the aching muscles seemed even worse. He was wrecked and had a terrible headache from crying and not having taken his medicine the night before. He cursed himself silently noticing that.

Still without opening his eyes, his brain was slow to remember that he was no longer in his own bed. The smell in the room was a mixture of cigarettes, mint chewing gum and antiseptic ointment; but his head was always slow to connect the facts.

He lifted his hand to the bedside table in search of his pills that were always within reach; but when he didn’t find the plastic bottle with his pills, he finally opened his void eyes and realized the obvious: he wasn’t in his room. The realization of this fact struck him like a truck, all that happened in the middle of the night coming back to him at once.

Not only he wasn’t in his room, there was as well a green man shirtless at his side, a a muscly chest covered in tattoos right in front of him. His hair gleamed with that peculiar, slightly moist haircut, a few strands falling casually over his face, which he slowly put back his ear. Had he taken a shower? His scent was intoxicating. Ace was without his iconic shades; his pinkish eyes were fixed on a Mexican tourism magazine. What the fuck did he do with that magazine in his hands that time in the morning?

2D couldn’t know. The truth was that his black eyes weren’t fixed on the contents of the magazine, but on the image of that imposing creature at his side. Why was Ace already awoken? Stuart instinctively bit on his own lips as his eyes traced over some of those tattoos, feeling undeniably ... attracted by that man's physique. He had seen Ace shirtless in other situations, but not so close and so .... accessible.

Ace smoked a cigarette with the ashtray on his lap, resting on the leather pants that were absolutely the only piece of clothing that separated him from his nakedness. Distracted as he went through the magazine, he hardly seemed to realize that Stuart had awakened; and if he hadn’ticed already, he seemed not to care at all for being measured-almost-devoured by the thirsty eyes of the singer.

The vocalist discreetly scratched his own eyes and looked around, trying to find himself in that room and make it look like he had just woken up, not eating Ace with his eyes. His gaze fell on a watch nailed to the wall, and then he noticed something terrible: the clock showed a quarter past noon.

Quarter past noon! That meant Murdoc had been at least eight hours alone in that house and ... Had he been able to sleep? Had he tried to escape? The police ... The police had knocked at some point  in that day? His head was already spinning with so many questions involving the Satanist. How could Ace be lying so casually with all this happening inside his own home?

2D felt his breathing quicken and ran his hands over his face over and over, getting desperate. Immediately he sat on the bed with his heart already in his throat, feeling the terrible cold sweat that had been descending uninterruptedly through his temples in the last two days. He tried to calm himself down, but the singer only grew even paler and starts shaking, having a clear attack of anxiety thinking about only the worst.

"Hey ... D?" Ace frowned as he watched him sit down. He closed the magazine and threw it on the bedside table beside him; put the cigarette in the ashtray and got rid of it, in an attempt to give all the attention he could to the singer who already seemed about to have an attack.

By that time, Stuart had sat in bed, propped his elbows on his legs bent and his hands tucked into his hair in a clear sign of stress. He pulled it slowly, because he knew that he could think better when he inflicted some pain upon himself. He tried, unsuccessfully, to return to reality and get the nightmare out of his mind, full of negative thoughts.

"D?" Ace asked once more, leaning closer to him and touching a hand behind his back. "Hey, D!"

All he had to do was feel one hand over himself to make Stuart jump scared, finally awakening from the introverted and terrible trance in which he had fallen. With white eyes, he lifted his head and looked at Ace, shaking.

"Ace ... Murdoc ... Where is he? What happened? The police ... The police ... "He began to babble, unable to even formulate a coherent sentence, his nervousness growing quick. He looked at the desperate bass player seeming sad, perhaps even a little guilty of having left Murdoc alone for so long.

"Calm down, Stewie ... Easy, man ..." the green man opened both hands to the other, showing that Stuart was safe and wasn’t in danger anymore. A brief silence preceded Ace's next words, which the vocalist heard as he nodded in an affirmative, still very nervous motion.

"The police went through the neighborhood and knocked here earlier today, but they didn’t have a warrant to enter, so they didn’t go through the door. And they won’t even get it." He raised his eyebrows, a smile forming on his lips. "They don’t suspect Murdoc is here. Actually, they don’t even think he's in the neighborhood anymore. Everything is under control, so calm down please. "he stated with complete certainty, trying to pass some security on to the other.

Ace, in addition to providing a hiding place, food and clothing, would also act accordingly and protect Murdoc at Stuart's request. He was really there to help those two, his actions confirmed it; finally, Ace could get Stuart's heart to normalize it’s beating again.

2D listened to those words as his slow brain tried to process what was happening. If the police had gone all over the neighborhood over and over and no longer suspected Murdoc was around, they were safe, right? There was no reason to worry, there wasn’t any... He tried to say this to himself over and over again, but it didn’t work. Everything seemed too easy to believe.

"And ..." Stuart started, raising his eyes slowly to him in fear. "And Murdoc?" He almost whispered to bassist, afraid to get Ace angry bringing the Satanist’s name the moment he woke up. He knew that Copular didn’t like Murdoc that much, and that he himself, Stuart, was one of the reasons for this quarrel.

Ace kept the smile on his face, but he was now getting a worried face. He lowered his gaze a little and shrugged before turning back to face the singer.

"Well, Doc ... He woke up earlier and stole my rum that was in the fridge." He laughed bitterly, couldn’t believe that even in his old age he could still wake up and drink something so strong in the morning. Ace didn’t keep this habit, even though he still didn’t deny his morning cigarette.

"He shouldn’t even have slept ..." Stuart whispered to himself, running a hand over his face again. He was undeniably concerned about the well-being of the Satanist ... And for that, Ace didn’t seem to care at all.

"Ah, believe me, he slept. Murdoc is silent like a hurricane. We would know if he had tried to escape during the night." Ace answered nonchalantly, shrugging and finally getting out of bed. "So, what's for breakfast? Pancakes? "He tried to smile offering something sweet he thought Stuart would enjoy, misleading on the subject of Murdoc. How could he get that bastard out of the singer's head?

2D remained silent and motionless, watching the man as if his operating system was off. He seemed not to have heard, or at least not to have understood a single word that this strange but attractive creature told him. He was lost, again bluntly drooling over his muscular body, which was now illuminated by the sunbeams entering the window.

Ace was handsome and smelled so good. That inviting smile ... Stuart swallowed, not knowing what he had just asked him, losing his recent memory completely.

"Breakfast, Stewie." Ace repeated slower, raising his eyebrows already a little impatient looking at him.

Poor Stuart, the thump on the stairs must have affected him. He was slower than normal for that time in the morning, wasn’t he? Ace was about to snap his fingers in front of him so he would wake up when he had the slight impression that 2D was drooling over him. But ... It couldn’t be, could it? Stuart loved Murdoc, right?

"B-breakfast…?" The singer mumbled the words he heard earlier, looking now at his face trying not to be distracted anymore by his gorgeous body. It was a stupid and rhetorical question ... But he wanted an excuse to admire him for a few more seconds. The age gap between Ace and the Satanist wasn’ticeable, and each of the man had their own beauty. Close to those two, Stuart felt so ugly and unattractive.

The singer was on a peak of stress so high that he could barely understand Ace's proposal. They were hiding a fugitive from jail; the police had already been in the neighborhood that same day looking for him; Murdoc was about to explode with hatred and had spent the last eight hours totally alone; above anything else, he should now be drunk, and when Murdoc drank, God only knew what was coming.

A real apocalypse happened 2D’s mind, and yet ... Even tough, Ace treated him as if they were on a romantic vacation. So gentle, so calm and understanding, so ... _different from Murdoc_.

"Ace, I ... I don’t know, I ..." He rubbed behind his elbow and looked away thoughtfully. If Murdoc opened the kitchen door and they were sharing a pancake ... Just a single damned pancake! For God's sake, they couldn’t even share the same room or breathe the same air in that room... That would certainly turn into a battlefield in no time.

"You want that old man to starve to death?" The long-nosed bassist asked, with a smart smile on his lips and folded his arms, which showed even more his defined biceps.

Stuart frowned thoughtfully. Did that mean Murdoc would get pancakes too? Would he be invited to a breakfast in "family" even after stealing his rum?

"Well, I ... All right." 2D flashed a weak smile at him and nodded. He didn’t want to start the day by arguing with someone as nice as Ace. "We're all going to have to eat something, I think ..." He forced a shy smile, blushing.

The singer was truly adorable when he was awkward, for Ace... That had always caught the American’s attention, those little details about 2D. And now that lovely smile was simply irresistible.

A crash could be heard when Ace again propped one knee over him laying on the singer, pinning him down on the bed. The vocalist jumped up and backed up a little to the headboard, practically getting trapped in it. He looked down, again his breathing so deregulated that he could barely supply his need for oxygen. What was happening so suddenly?

His sudden proximity to Ace, his face just inches from his, the breath of peppermint pounding over Stuart's nose ... The smell of bathing and wet hair ... He just couldn’t face that green man. His face burned with shame and ... Unspoken _desire_. From the night before, he'd been wanting to get closer to Ace, but ... That thought seemed inconceivable to him. Murdoc was only one wall away and if he found out that, he ...

"Stewie ..." The hoarse voice caressed his ears, as Stuart closed his own fists on the sheet in his hands being thrown off his thoughts. His face was unbearably hot. The thoughts of Murdoc became distant when Ace used that languid, husky voice of someone who had just woken up. "You can relax now ... You're safe ..." He guaranteed purring.

2D swallowed hard and nodded, still avoiding the exchange of glances. He knew he wouldn’t be able to resist if his void eyes met the bassist's pinkish ones. The fear he had now wasn’t Ace, of course not. He was afraid of himself, of his weaknesses, of his impure desires involving the American. The real desire he felt was to finally lift his eyes and face him, but if he did that ... If he did that, what would prevent them from a malicious approach?

The truth was that Stuart wasn’t yet aware of his own intentions. His body suddenly warmed as he felt Ace's fresh breath, but just thinking about Murdoc in the next room send shivers down his spine. It was such a hopeless confusion, but deep down so ... Hot.

"D ..." The voice called again, causing the singer to return to Earth. Every time his name escaped those sweet lips... Not an insult or pejorative nickname, no ... Ace always called him in such a gentle way. Stuart liked that, was so different from Murdoc. This made the singer's reason going down the drain, being replaced by his more intimate wills.

Ace had never insulted or cursed him, had even addressed him in anger once ... He was patient with him, tender ... And all those thoughts ran freely through Stuart's mind as he continued to try to avoid the bassist's eyes. However, regardless of that, there didn’t seem to be anything in the world that made Ace give up on what he wanted.

He touched his chin and lifted his face a little, just enough for his pinkish eyes meet his. Finally Stuart was forced to see them and immediately got lost.

As soon as their eyes met, they closed them; Ace leaned forward and cut the last few inches that kept his lips away, starting a really slow kiss, so hot, so wet. He put all the kindness of his words in that act, to which the singer was happy to reciprocate, placing his trembling and cold hands on that equally beautiful face.

Ace was surprised to have his kiss finally matched. He thought the singer would push him away, yell at him, tell him to leave, but that didn’t happen; He couldn’t tell if it was because of their position or because Stuart really wanted to continue, but ... It didn’t matter now. Was finally happening. And that was all Ace wanted.

Letting his instincts take hold of him for a moment, he closed one of his green hands over his slender thigh and a moan left his lips. Stuart was still trembling, and he didn’t seem that comfortable, as if something prevented him from going ahead. At the mere gesture of the vocalist squirming a little, and adding the act to the fact that he already heard his belly complaining, Ace interrupted himself.

With his lips still glued to his, he stood still. Ace just smiled, unable to contain his own laughter. "Hungry ...?" He whispered in a question, stroking his blue and soft hair. Ace's teeth were as sharp as Murdoc's, but still, they inflicted no fear in that sweet smile that made 2D mesmerized.

Stuart nodded his head, with the reddest face in the world. Damn time for his stomach complain loudly; but maybe it was for the better. Even if he wanted Ace, Murdoc was still in the house; if he found them together and that way, heads would surely roll there. Therefore, the American got up and offered a hand in an invitation for 2D to get up, too.

Stuart accepted his support, but already trying, in vain, to hide his half hard on that had appeared with just a kiss. Ace watched him discreetly trying to act nonchalantly with a smile on his face, but said nothing. It was good to know he wasn’t the only one uncomfortable in his pants with so little, but he was willing to wait for the singer's time.

Stuart ran into the bathroom to get his pills and fix his little problem.

What had he just done? Ace had kissed him, and he couldn’t have let that happen ... Even now, he felt guilty, but ... It had been so good. Murdoc would surely kill him or kill Copular if he knew what had happened between them. And Stuart couldn’t put the American in bigger danger than they already were. He felt it was all his fault.

He sighed heavily, looking at his reflection in the mirror and noticing that his lips were red and swollen from that snog, such had been their desire. He ran his fingertips on them, remembering the sensation of Ace’s lips over his and involuntarily smiling. He took his pills, changed his clothes into Ace's, and left again, calmer, smiling at the bass player.

The American welcomed him with a hug and a soft “Good morning” by his ear, already whispering how good Stuart looked with his clothes and causing him to let out an embarrassed laugh. He liked the closeness of Ace and the security that he brought along with it. The protection of those strong arms around him ... He wasn’t afraid of Ace at all, not even when he approached suddenly, different from when it was Murdoc who did and he got terrified not able to predict his actions.

Soon they went to the kitchen to solve another problem: hunger. As he smiled and was led to the kitchen, Stuart realized: why hadn’t Ace eaten yet? Was it possible he had waited for him to wake up to breakfast? That simple idea brought butterflies to his stomach; another act of kindness that made 2D blush as they walked down the stairs together.

 

-x-

 

The hours didn’t pass, but crawled like worms under Murdoc's skin. Tucked in the bedroom, his newest prison, and without even opening the curtains to see the light of the despicable day outside, he chugged that rum, the stems of the drink escaping his lips and wetting the new clothes that he was wearing. Ace’s ones. How humiliating; Niccals living in another man's house due to pity ...

He wasn’t in his bed; but sitting on the floor. The scent of that bed was too clean for his taste.

After an almost awake night, the sun rose in the certainty that rum was his only company. The only thing in the world that wouldn’t betray him and didn’t want to replace him with a younger, more beautiful and even more cunning, fucker.

He could clearly hear the laughter coming from the kitchen. There was scent of food, there was clatter of cutlery and there was 2D's voice interacting with Ace's scornful one. From where he was and with his dizzy mind of alcohol in an empty stomach, Murdoc couldn’t discern what they were talking about ... But he knew it wasn’t about himself, of course not. He was now like a parasite unwanted, the reason for their problems, a fugitive that should be hidden at all costs... He thought about it and drank some more, feeding his hatred, drowning his sorrow, silencing the voices in his head.

Apparently Murdoc hadn’t been invited to those motherfucker's happy picnic just as he hadn’t been invited to their wedding night that night. Oh, if he had the chance to have Ace asleep beside him ... What a pleasure wouldn’t be to stab him in the belly while he still snored?

The images of the two together appeared as flashes in his intoxicated mind, making him sick, jealous and mad alone on the floor of that room. He wanted to go away, to hide alone, not to disturb the happy life of those two ... But hate wouldn’t allow it, no. He was stubborn Murdoc Niccals couldn’t just walk away and let Ace enjoy something that was his. That had always been his for the past 20 years.

In any case, his thoughts weren’thing more than unhappy and obscure ramblings of the worst possible situations, like the good paranoid pessimist he had always been. Murdoc squeezed the bottle so tightly with his claws that he felt the glass tinkling. He wanted to be squeezing Ace's throat right now, feeling his vertebrae crack as life escaped that ironic face ... But he knew the blue idiot would try to stop him, right? He had sided with Ace, after all.

 He wanted to throw the bottle against the wall, but then there would be no company. And he would still hear 2D complaining about his dirtying the house that wasn’t his, about being ungrateful and how Ace was the good guy in history.

He must have taken advantage of it to escape in the middle of the night, but Murdoc had become such a useless old man that he had chosen to get drunk as soon as the day rose instead of doing something better. He knew that if he left, he would do the right thing leaving the two alone as they wanted, to let Stuart go ahead with his choice ... But Niccals were never the ones to act right, and with Murdoc it was no different.

Drinking used to numb him after a few hours, but that day the numbness didn’t seem to come at all. All that Rum was doing with him was shuffling his vision, making him tremble, and making his blood boil even more in the hatred he now harbored for Copular. Touching his Bluebird ... Putting those filthy paws on Stuart's milky skin ... Caressing his blue hair as if they were his ...

A desire to vomit came all of a sudden, but Murdoc didn’t want that feeling to come out of him. He didn’t want it to leave, because when he had a chance to touch Ace, he wanted everything to come out. All his anger and fury. However, the noise and the light from the door of his room being opened aroused him from all those daydreams.

Stuart appeared against all that brightness that came from outside the room, a plate of food in his hands. He looked like an angel with a smile on his face shining in that darkness. Apparently the picnic was over and it was time to feed the dogs. He was also wearing Ace's clothes, and in his tall, slender body, they looked so ridiculously bige. Typical position of the person who had just had sex and now wore his lover's clothes ...

"Murdoc," he called, lifting his plate of food a little to show him what he held. His hands trembled in hesitation, but the expression on his face tried to pass some ... Serenity? He went on: "Look ... We made pancakes." He tried to smile to say what they had done for him, too. "I ... I was going to call you to have breakfast with us, but I didn’t want to disturb you ..."

Niccals frowned at the plate of warm pancakes. His stomach growled with desire, but all he did was turn his face to the other side, muttering, "I'm not hungry."

"Murdoc, don’t be like that, please…" he said with a short sigh. "Since you got out of jail, you're just eating crumbs ..." He looked at the bottle in his hand "And drinking more than ever..."

"You can leave the pancakes to your new friend," he growled, rolling his eyes with disgust. He had glanced to Stuart’s features when he entered and that joy ... That damned happiness shining in his void eyes, the bliss he wanted to make 2D feel...

"Ace already ate. And I've eaten too. So..."

"Ah ..." The cynical smile formed on his green lips, Murdoc could no longer suppress the laughter that didn’t contain a trace of humor. "They have eaten then. You're feeding me leftovers, just like a dog. "

"That's not true ..." Stuart was now clutching the plate in his hands, looking at the pancakes instead of facing Murdoc. The pancakes were less threatening. "You can’t just live on alcohol ..." He frowned slowly, who was he to say such things as his mother? Murdoc had lived on alcohol only during Plastic Beach and was right there, more alive than ever.

"As if you cared about me, Faceache." He spat the words with disdain and slightly hurt. He knew that Stuart cared for him more than he ever deserved, he was the only one that never gave up on him ... But now that he had someone else to care for and knew he was reciprocated ... Why be bothered with an old dog like him?

Stuart already felt his heart racing in despair. Again, he was given a mission-the simple mission of feeding the man-and he was about to fail again. He could never do anything right?

He remembered again when was the eldest who fed him in his underwater prison at Plastic Beach. The situation had changed, but that brought no satisfaction or pleasure at all. He felt sorry for the man in front of him ... undeniably they were very different from each other, even after years gone by.

No one else could help him with Murdoc. Stuart was the man's only hope. Why couldn’t he feel happy about it? Having finally that power over Murdoc? Why couldn’t he just step on him and humiliate him? It was the perfect opportunity for revenge, and yet ... Still, he couldn’t even rub it against his face ...

"Tell me what I need to do, Murdoc," he murmured, keeping his head down, but already lifting his void eyes to face him. "Tell me what I need to do so you will eat."

The bassist shifted on the floor, looking suddenly interested. He turned his whole body in his direction, and if the gestures spoke for themselves, those of Murdoc were terribly explicit.

"Anything?" He repeated, with a new, interested smile.

Stuart looked at him sideways, now with suspicion.

" _Almost_ anything," he whispered back, his thick brows furrowed in his direction, his already self-defensive posture. Now he was squeezing the plate so much that his hands were already hurting.

Murdoc smothered a new laugh and looked around the room, as if thinking of a thousand possibilities. At last, he set the rum bottle on the floor beside him and interviewd his fingers in his own lap, tilting his head a little to the side as he made his newest and most wonderful suggestion.

"A piece of pancake for the good old blowjob, what do you say, Dents?"

That was enough. It had been enough.

Humbled, feeling his face burn with hatred, Stuart turned away from him not even replying to the Satanist and prepared to leave the room, finally putting an end to that stupid non-sense dialogue. However, as soon as he turned around, he was interrupted by the rough voice, which now seemed desperate:

"Hey Hey hey! It's a joke, Faceache! You weren’t like this before ... "He grunted, and then he swallowed hard, still listening. "A cigarette for a piece of pancake ... And now, was I consistent?"

It was always that. He always suffered and submitted to Murdoc to do something that, in fact, was best for himself. Always caring too much about someone who didn’t care about him back. For this man, it wasn’t enough to have what he wanted, but to carry something extra, like a damned gift.

2D would love not to care that much. He just wanted to send Murdoc to hell, he wanted to tell him to fuck himself and hate him, but he couldn’t.

He was always struck by guilt, fear, or compassion, as if he had been guilty of all that Niccals had lately. As it had been all his fault. As if he had to redeem himself with him over and over, trying to be as cool as possible ... Caring for him, since no one has ever cared for Murdoc since he was born.

After all, he was hungry, wasn’t he? Was it right to leave him hungry? It was already a situation that had much more to do with their relationship than just eating pancakes or not.

A brief sigh left his lips as he nodded and walked to Murdoc with those pancakes. He knelt on the floor beside him, rested his plate on the floor; pulled out a cigarette he handed to Niccals. Not enough, he held out the lighter to the bass player, but he didn’t pick it up. Instead, he bent over to 2D with the cigarette already hanging in his mouth, in a silent request for the vocalist to light it for himself.

It was all a trap. Stuart had only gotten close enough to light his cigarette, Murdoc spat it away and grabbed both of his wrists, pushing him hard until he lay on the floor.

"M-Murdoc ... No!"

His slender body struggled, but it was too late. Murdoc used to smile with pleasure when he saw himself on top of a situation, but now, as he sat on Stuart's hips and pressed his wrists like rubber, there was no smile on his lips. He was struggling with his own legs, his knees pressing against the side of 2D's body, until he finally gave up trying to escape.

"Murdoc ..." He groaned giving up, shaking his head.

The green man bent over him, his nose tucked into his blue hair. The smell coming from it was no longer Stuart's, but a mixture of Ace's sheets and clothes.

"The wedding night seems to have been good for the lovebirds huh?" He whispered, trying to keep himself in control, even though he trembled. He didn’t wait for any answer to come out of his pale lips. The essence of that accursed scent had permeated the skin and blue hair of his singer, and the hatred that rose in Murdoc made him want to break, tear, destroy. Or even ... "I'll kill him, Dents," he whispered against his ear, like a veiled threat.

"You ... What?" At last, Stuart was taken out of his torpor and actually stopped fighting him. Kill?

He had to be talking it out of his mouth, hadn’t him? Murdoc and Ace used to be friends; they had shared good times, they had lived peacefully in some remote time in the past, it wasn’t possible that all good feelings had been just lost. It wasn’t possible that Ace had awakened this murderous instinct all over him, was ...?

The smell of alcohol emanated from Niccals, and 2D knew he couldn’t react, he couldn’t. The memories coming back to him with that smell ... It was a bluff, it had to be; something he was only talking about in a moment of blind anger.

He was already wanted by the police, if he had a murder on the list, he would never be free again. Murdoc had done horrible things in his past, but not on that level. Although a part of Stuart knew that all that could be a lie, the threat to Ace made his heart pound, of guilt and despair of Murdoc being serious about it.

The terror that took him was so deep that the words escaped from his mouth as if they had a life of their own.

"I-If you kill Ace ..." he muttered, his voice so inaudible, that he forced himself to repeat, trembling. "If you kill Ace, I'll hand you over to the police. You will rot behind bars, Murdoc. "He spoke in a serious, somber tone, trying to appear as menacing as he could. Murdoc promising something he knew not to be able, and Stuart doing the same.

The bassist brushed his face away from his blue hair, just to face Stuart serious expression. He saw the red and still swollen lips of his singer, he knew they had been touched by a mouth other than his own. They both had tears in their eyes, but Murdoc's ones were lost. Lost in alcohol, lost in hatred, lost in jealousy that had consumed him long ago. Listening to Stuart defending Ace was something that ripped his insides.

Without even thinking for a second, Niccals raised a fist and tried to punch him straight in his eyes; a punch that Stuart quickly anticipated and defended, being struck, instead, on the lips. The lips that Ace had kissed. 2D grunted in pain and cringed, still shielding his eyes - or whatever he had in its place.

The cut opened a trail of blood, the taste of iron taking his mouth completely. His blood escaped in the form of a single trickle running down his chin, and as soon as he touched that fillet with his pale fingers to ascertain that he was really bleeding, he felt Murdoc's body bending over his again.

Physical pain wasn’thing compared to psychological one; the bassist seemed to have regretted having almost strangled him the other day, but now that the assault was repeated, Stuart understood: the jail had made him so much worse.

He was a lost case. Murdoc was darker, more ironic, and more aggressive than he had ever been. Why had he told him that he had missed him? Had it just all being lies again? His heart couldn’t bear any more of that.

Tears mingled with anger and sadness made his eyes bulge, Stuart covered them with his arms, still trying to defend himself. Even though his eyelids were lowered, he felt the long, rough tongue pass through the blood on his lips and the drops that came down from his eyes.

Murdoc licked all the secretions of his face with his tongue, the breath of rum and saliva leaving a trail on his skin. Stuart wasn’t disgusted by that… That touch was so ... Murdoc. But even if there was no disgust, the terror of what was about to come had already taken his body completely.

When he felt that tongue against his skin, he groaned in fear, but felt that Niccals' arms trembled too. There he was, leaning over him, shaking. Why did he tremble? Was him scared too?

"Yes ..." The rough voice finally whispered, interrupting the lick that had just hit the earlobe of Stuart. Niccals's voice was hoarse, trembling, sad, broken.

Murdoc seemed to want to be aggressive, but the truth was that he wasn’t even able to stand on 2D. "Promise me, Dents ... Promise me if I kill Ace you'll hand me over to the police ... Promise me you'll get rid of me ..."

Stuart tried to answer, but he couldn’t. What was Murdoc trying to tell him? What did that mean? With his heart in his throat, 2D opened his eyes now white with terror, but as soon as he opened them, the surprise took his face.

Murdoc was crying. Thick, salty tears fell on his face. He sobbed like a lost child, he was afraid, but he knew it was the best that Stuart get rid of him. Forever.

"M-Muds ...?" He whispered softly, removing his arms from his face and undoing his defensive position. He felt his heart break when he saw him like that.

The weight of the bassist's body finally fell on his, as if he were collapsing. 2D was crushed down there, barely able to breathe, but feeling Murdoc's hair, that scent of mixed rum with tears. His whole chest contracted subtly from the crying, painful sobs escaping his throat; and even if Stuart wanted to babble something to comfort him, his own chest ached.

Tears multiplied in his eyes, but they weren’t out of anger. They were just ... Sadness. Saddened to see him in that state, begging him to get rid of him, even though Stuart could never do it. Would Murdoc really be able to go that far, just so 2D had no choice ...?

"Promise me, Dents ..." The raspy voice repeated, now in a plea. Stuart touched his dark hair and stroked it, uncertain of what to do. What should he do? What could he say?

"I-It's ... It's okay ..." He whispered back, his own tears mingling with his, which fell on his face. "It's going to be all right ..." he repeated softly, unable to really guarantee what the future would be, but wishing more than anything now that Murdoc stopped crying. "I promise," he said when he finally felt the Satanist calm down a bit.

After the collapse, Niccals left the singer, looking down and shaking. He moved silently away and crawled over to the pancakes, cringing with them in the corner of the room, still on the floor. He didn’t dare look at him again, because he knew: Stuart was bleeding again because of him. So, guilty and wiping his own tears, Murdoc quietly ate those damn pancakes.

Stuart stood up with difficulty, his head still spinning from what had just happened. He wiped the corner of his mouth with his own fingers and faced the Satanist in front of him, finally feeling happy to see that Murdoc ate. He seemed to eat so desperately, as if he had been very, very hungry before. That image hurt in Stuart, making him feel like he should take better care of that poor man.

Niccals wasn’t grateful, much less apologetic; it wasn’t of his character. But the way he looked at the pancakes and still shivered from the recent cry made 2D know the level of his guilt. And even though Murdoc hadn’t asked him, he forgave him. Stuart always, always forgave him.

With his head down, also feeling his legs shaken by the recent fear, 2D headed to the door. He needed to get to the toilet and clean that mouth before Ace realized what had happened; Stuart was tired of being the reason for the problems in that house.

"D ..." Murdoc murmured behind him, immediately mending, "He kissed you, didn’t he?"

2D stopped with the hand on the knob, feeling his whole body shaking. His throat went dry, immediately remembering the threat that Murdoc had made to Ace's life. If Ace died at the hands of Niccals, it would be all his fault ... It would be only his fault ...

Stuart wished he could lie, but his paranoid mind wouldn’t allow it. Even now, he sobbed at the possibility of what he would have to deal with, but if he lied and Murdoc discovered the truth ... Everything would be so worse, wouldn’t it?

"Y-Yes, Murdoc, he did" he sobbed, whispering as he nodded. He refused to turn to look at him, but he felt as Niccals' breathing deepened; he could no longer hear the chewing of the pancakes because he no longer ate. He was probably just staring at him with that beastly stare, about to attack, about to do more damage than he had ever done ...

"And you ..." Murdoc whispered again, his voice rasping so hard he could barely speak. "Did you kiss him back?"

Stuart took a breath to answer, but the words didn’t come out. His blood pressure was dropping so fast that he had to put his hands on the door so he wouldn’t fall back to the floor. With his heart racing, his tears multiplying in his face and mingling with the blood of his aching lips, he nodded. He just nodded, unable to say anything else.

Behind him, he heard Murdoc sob. In a thread of his own voice, all he replied was, "Thanks for the pancakes, Stu."

Thanking someone was something Murdoc Niccals didn’t do, but Stuart didn’t question him. It seemed like the perfect chance to get away from there before any major damage happened. So, desperately, he opened the bedroom door and left, shutting it behind him. He leaned against the closed door, already in the hall, and allowed himself to collapse there.

He covered his own lips in a mute cry, lost in endless guilt. All he had been trying to do for Murdoc since he had escaped from jail was to protect him; but all he'd managed to do until then was to hurt him, gaining back hurt lips and that endless remorse.

He stood motionless in that position, crying alone and unable to hear a sound from inside Murdoc's room until he heard the voice of the other man in the hall. Ace seemed to be talking to someone on the phone; and even though 2D couldn’t understand what he was saying, the simple ringing of his voice from a distance made him feel so much more ... Calm.

Little by little he stopped crying. Gradually, he gained enough strength to walk toward the toilet, where he could finally find a way to take care of those wounded lips. No matter what happened, he couldn’t also cause pain or concern to the only person inside that apartment that had become his safe haven.


	6. Wrong Desires

Locked in the bathroom, leaning against the sink and facing the mirror, Stuart frantically flipped over an ice cube he'd stolen from Ace's freezer to try to improve the cut on his lip after the punch. His hands burned in direct contact with that cold surface, but he needed to feel that burning; he needed to feel it, not only because the state of his lips depended on it, but because he wanted to get revenge ... _On himself._

He was so stupid, so fucking stupid. All he had tried to do since Murdoc had escaped from jail was to protect him; but now all he did was hurt him, worry Ace, create in that house a climate of war and endless sorrow. It was allhis fault. He could never do anything right, no matter how hard he tried. In addition, why was he still trying after 40 years of failure?

He threw the rest of the ice into the drain and rested both hands on the sink, squeezing it, allowing his head to hang between his outstretched arms. Soft tears left his eyes and mingled with the drops that dripped from the tap, sobs escaping from his lips, his chest aching, Stuart trying as hard as possible to avoid any kind of noise not to draw Ace's attention.

Murdoc's words echoed in his mind:

 _Kill him_ , he had said. _I'm going to kill him_ , _Dents._

The sobs multiplied in the bathroom while Stuart shook his head, his face hidden behind his blue hair as Murdoc's voice repeated, repeated, repeated into his twisted mind...

_I'm going to kill him, Dents._

"No, no ..." 2D whispered to himself, remembering how Murdoc had crawled to the corner of that room and devoured that stupid pancake with such hunger, in a clear sign that he had been starving. He'd rather be hungry than eat in that house, and eating a simple breakfast had cost him so much. It had cost him so much that Stuart couldn’t stand it any longer.

It was all his fault.

He felt consumed. Frightened and nervous about what was happening, he was clearly in another panic crisis; and this time he had no one to tell or to ask for help. He didn’t want to worry Ace, and bothering Murdoc was out of the question, since Stuart knew he was in that deplorable state. He felt so ... _Alone_. His lips were numb as well as the thin fingers of his hand. Numb as he wanted his soul to be… and it was burning in flames of despair.

Noodle and Russel also ran through his head. What would they be doing now? Hating him already? Stuart hadn’t even received a single message or call asking where he was, if he was okay, if Murdoc was okay; he had been abandoned by his own family, as his choice to help Murdoc have isolated him from everything and everyone. One more fault to add to his long list.

"Stewie?" A voice called from the other side of the door, finally making him lift his face and stare at his own image in the mirror. That voice was so calm ... Stuart enjoyed listening so much, he could hear Ace speaking to him whole day if he could ... The American sounded… Genuinely worried, as sweet as ever ...

Stuart was startled by his own reflection, and instead of responding Ace, he stepped back till hitting the wall with his back. He slipped sitting on the cold floor and pulling his hair hard, unable to get out of his own situation. He had no idea how much time had passed with him locked in that room, he already knew it was time enough for Ace to worry about him and come to see him. The singer was glad he cared.

His crying grew louder and painful as he now let his emotions go, knowing he was no longer alone, even though a door would keep him away from the American. Blood pressure rose and made his lip bleed again, letting little red drops fall on the clothes he was now wearing that were Ace’s. Above everything, he was dirtying his clothes too.

On the other side of that door, Ace was already shaking. He tried to open it without success because Stuart had naturally locked it inside. However, the American had been walking with his bundle of keys since Murdoc had entered that apartment; and now he no longer had to use force to break it in, just slipping the key into the lock and opening it, entering the same room where the singer was.

Noticing his entrance, Stuart didn’t even have the strengh to lift his head to face him. He was so ashamed of his pathetic situation, so afraid that Ace would be angry that he had dirtied his clothes with blood, that he was already letting out a broken "I’m sorry" sobbing, his legs against his own chest while he hugged them. All he didn’t want was to be found in that state. Not by the owner of the house.

Ace stopped for a second, trying to figure out what was going on there. He watched the amount of blood scattered over Stuart, not knowing what to do. Where did it come from? Was it possible that he had hurt himself in his absence? The possibilities swept his worried mind in seconds, nothing more appearing to fit.

"I'm sorry ..." Stuart was still shivering, shaking his head negatively through sobs and shrinking further against the wall trying to protect himself from… Ace?

"Stewie ..."

Ace wanted to tell him that everything was all right, but once again, the words escaped. He was scared that something bad might happen to that man destabilized and emotional. Before he could tell, his own heart was beating frantically. He had to calm himself down, he needed to understand what had happened there.

He walked slowly to Stuart, knelt on the floor beside him, and pulled him close. 2D’s chest was now trembling over his, the sobs filling the bathroom at a higher volume, intensified by the acoustics of that place, as if the singer were waiting for the moment he could collapse.

He sobbed in his arms and Ace said nothing, just stroking his soft blue hair, trying to pass a minimum of security to the shaking singer. His scent was so good, so intoxicating ... Stuart looked so vulnerable now. He felt the need to protect him, as if only he could.

"Calm down, D, please..." he whispered, allowing himself to close his eyes for a fraction of a second as his hair brushed past his fingers. Everything seemed so ... Fragile. Stuart seemed made of glass. So many times before he had imagined 2D in his arms, but not like that. Just not like that. His heart couldn’t stand the singer crying in that disconsolate way.

Ace knew that his demands to calm down wouldn’t work, 2D seemed wrecked and the bassist didn’t know exactly why. "It's all right, D ... Let's get you out of here ..." He tried to continue, his voice in the sweetest, gentlest tone he could muster.

With difficulty, they rose from the floor, Ace wrapping his thin waist around his strong arms and walking next to him, two pairs of legs practically braiding in the difficulty of walking.

Stuart held him so tightly that he seemed to be nailed to himself. When they finally reached the bedroom and the bassist tried to put him on the bed, Stuart refused to let him go.

"Come on, D ..." he whispered as delicately as he could, feeling his pale arms wrap around his neck in a tight embrace. The singer was shaking with despair. "You need to rest, and I need to get you some ..." _Water_ would have completed, but the desperate whisper of 2D was faster than his own.

"Please don’t go ..." he begged, shaking his head desperately in a negative tone. "Don’t leave me, Ace ... Please ... I don’t want to be alone."

Stuart was really tired of feeling alone or scared. When Murdoc was close to him, he was in despair or wounded, but with Ace ... With Ace it wasn’t like that. And he wanted that feeling never to end.

The words formed in the bassist's throat, but didn’t come out through his mouth. How could he tell him he wasn’t leaving him, but only going to the kitchen to bring him a glass of water in an attempt to calm him down? His arms trembled around his neck; Stuart held him with all his remaining strength, and it didn’t seem to be much. Seeing the size of the determination 2D had in holding him, Ace knew immediately that he should stay. He needed to.

He had admired so much 2D from the distance, when he wasn’t yet part of the Gorillaz; he had wanted him so many times, thinking that if he had ever been a part of it, he would have conquered him with his charming smile and his ability on the bass, but that... Well, Ace hadn’t only just joined the band, but also he got into the backstage. And the backstage was a mess, even if he was happy to try to help that singer with so many emotional problems.

"Don’t leave me ..." 2D whispered between sobs. “Please…”

Stuart was so broken, so sad, so empty, that he couldn’t be left alone. Murdoc had abandoned him for months ... And Ace had been his company ever since, eventually becoming attached to him. However, ever since the damned moment when he'd taken that last punch in his mouth, his feelings had mixed so deep inside him that he could barely understand where he was. He didn’t know what to feel for both of them ...

 The blame for making Murdoc so mad, the fear of losing Ace; the anger he felt now of himself for having weakened in front of him... It was all a great ball of snow that pressed him, pressed hard, and now he could barely breathe through those sobs, grateful for still having Ace to hold on like a port for him, even being a mess now.

The only thing that could soothe him was that man. Moreover, when Ace finally gave up and let himself lie down on the bed beside him, Stuart could feel warm for the first time in so long. He could feel both hearts beating fast in unison. For the first time in a long time, it was lik he wasn’t alone, as if life wasn’t drained from him by the tears that flowed from those void eyes.

"I won’t leave you, Stu." he murmured back, his hand caressing his blue hair again, trying to offer some comfort to the desperate singer. "I promise."

For a brief, brief moment, they remained silent. Tears still lay on the bedclothes, and Ace wasn’t sure what to do with that body that still trembled in his arms, but the sobs were already ceasing. With his eyes closed, Stuart felt the warmth emanating from the bassist's body and passing through his, heating each of his cells. There it was again; the scent of mint gum that came from him, and the air of pain and sorrow of 2D was slowly being replaced by that new smell that penetrated his lungs.

He wouldn’t let go, no. He wouldn’t let him go. That energy of someone who was able to protect him, someone who was able to pick up his pieces and fix him once more ... The hug wasn’t enough. His thin legs were already trying to intertwine with Ace's, Copular's breathing began to accelerate over his skin, noticing the approach and intentions of the singer.

"D ..." He tried to call once more, controlling himself. What the fuck was happening? In addition, above anything, what the fuck was going on with Ace Copular?

He had wanted to make Stuart his so many times before, but now that he was about to, that close, was he forcing himself to remain controlled over his wills? It couldn’t be, where did all that hesitation come from?

He was almost certain Stuart wasn’t in a position to choose for himself. Maybe he was too broken, too vulnerable, maybe he was only entwining himself to have a minimum of support and a minimum of ... Of ...

"Ace..." The whisper came against his ear, making Copular frown and feel that something inside his pants was beginning to awaken. "Ace, I need ..." That damn weeping, needy voice calling his name over and over again was ... Impossible to resist.

Ace cleared his throat as 2D finally left that position and rolled a little on the bed, releasing the weight of his body lying on the bass player. There were now two men lying, one on top of the other, the tears already dry on Stuart's face that seemed determined, changed ... As if Ace was the solution to all his pain. The antidote. He was now staring Ace dead in the eye, and even though there were holes in his eyes, and his lips were swollen and bruised, he was so unbearably gorgeous.

The once pale face now turned pink 2D’s skin warmed, and if Ace felt that if he had any mission in that stupid world, it was to warm the pale skin of 2D. He wanted to make it pink, yes, much pinker than that, red ... Maybe he was as sick as Stuart and Murdoc, after all.

He drew his red face to himself so quickly that a grunt left Stuart's wounded lips, Ace's tongue immediately invaded his mouth, so warm, so inviting, so wet. Tongues intertwined as deeply as their legs, Stuart's erection already brushing Ace's, the pain of his injured lip far from being a problem when the desire took them over completely.

That was what he needed, that was what could heal him. He couldn’t just have Ace as a friend, he couldn’t just walk away from him after a hug and think everything would be all right, he needed to feel him... _Inside himself_. He needed to feel him filling his empty body, making him feel alive and complete, making the pain go away, and even if it was his desire for the new bass player that had caused a war in that house, it didn’t matter anymore. He didn’t care. Stuart was so needy, all he could do was rub himself against Ace, begging for more, more, more ...!

They changed positions, Ace as always wanting and needing to feel in control, to be able to take care of the singer ... As he had always done.

Stuart felt his body being pulled brutally to the side, tumbling over the mattress as Copular now leaned over, one hand gripping each of the lean 2D wrists, pinning them just above the blue hair. Dominant, thirsty, desirous ... Strong and handsome, what Stuart's eyes couldn’t help but stare and admire, shining in anticipation as he bit his own sore lips, unable to say what he wanted: to be simply an object in Ace’s skilful hands. His teeth were sharp, lifting his bloody T-shirt and wet tongue down his lean chest, Stuart already panting.

"Yes ..." Stuart muttered with closed eyes, an electric shock spilling through his body as that tongue slowly caressed his nipples, a subtle bite happening here and there on them, leaving them as hard and red as the rest of the body that pulsed, wishing more and more from the American. "Ace ..." Again the bassist's name escaped through those sweet lips of the blue-haired angel, causing Ace to lose the remaining sanity he still had.

He was struggling to caress the bassist's hair, but it was useless. He understood that the best thing to do was to accept his own passivity as he felt his teeth going down his chest, his belly, his groin. His own cock throbbed in need when Ace finally let go of those wrists to rip the damn pants off. Away from that milky skin.

Pants and underwear were dumped on the floor like garbage. An exchange of glances for a few seconds happened before Ace finally opened the lascivious smile because he had succeeded. So many years of unhealthy mentality about that moment, and there it was.

"What are you going to ...?" Stuart asked, but he didn’t have time to even complete his sentence. In a single movement, he was turned sideways on the bed, and such was the strength and security of Ace's movements that he felt just a little more than an inanimate object on the mattress. However, an inanimate object so terribly satisfied.

"A-Ace ..." He whispered his name again, as if a silent beg. Even with his arms loose now, he couldn’t touch him, and it was terribly exciting that deprivation.

Now, with him lying on his side, Copular saw the scene he had most hoped for over so many years. The milky skin that throbbed, the shirt lifted to see the marks of his little bites scattered on his waist, his blue hair spilled on his pillow, his face reddened and panting staring at him back, waiting, waiting ... His body thin and slender, rounded buttocks, a beauty that made Ace breathless, almost feeling guilty about marking him ...

Ace offered him the fingers of his right hand, which Stuart immediately licked up and down, eye contact not being broken for a moment. He made them wet enough, already knowing what was about to come next and taking advantage of his lack of front teeth for that, to tease the American a bit.

Ace could no longer contain a moan as he glimpsed the scene of that obedient creature, who had already understood the destiny of those fingers. He didn’t even need words to direct him to anything ... His hot, wet mouth was already doing the job. Moreover, when they were finally wet enough, he pressed them into Stuart.

A languid moan echoed in the room when Stuart felt himself being invaded by one of those long fingers. He was already so wet and hot on the inside, the singer was panting so much in the need to have Ace inside him that his own hip facilitated the bassist's movements, moving in sync with Ace. He moved his hips back and forth, allowing Ace's middle finger to deepen inside him, the hoarse groan coming from above caressing Stuart's ear as he easily found his sweet spot, making him roll his eyes with pleasure.

"Stewie..." He babbled with his eyes closed as he felt the singer from the inside, muscles contracting and relaxing as Ace fingered him, deeper and deeper. He thought he could prepare him and control himself for a while, but his plans were ruined quick, the temptation was too much.

"Ace ..." whispered the small one through moans. "I need you ... To fill me ..." And through those same moans, the sentences became incomprehensible, as he now completed: "Fuck… me ... Please ..." He said gleefully, loving the way the bassist was calm and gentle with him, unlike another green man who already knew him and knew how to make Stuart delirious  without almost any preparation...

All that care was ... Passionate in a way too. He had the best of both worlds in both men and wouldn’t trade that for anything else in the world.

Ace could no longer resist. His own cock pulsed with desire, already leaking precum and all he could do when he heard that melodic voice cry out was a grunting need. The finger digging deep into Stuart was taken out, his hand now taking hold of both his wrists again, on the mattress. His other hand was now on his blue hair, which he pulled mercilessly, to make the singer’s back arch, so ready for him.

Ace's cock finally entered that narrow passage, a howl of pleasure filling the room as he felt Stuart's muscles trying to adapt that invasion. Slowly, he began to move, 2D biting his own lips violently as he felt himself being ripped inside. Ace was so ... Big. In addition, even if for a few seconds the pain was all Stuart could feel, a disfigured smile formed on his own bitten lips, because that was what he wanted. It was exacly what he was craving for.

His thrusts became deeper and faster. His whole body was coming and going on the mattress, his wrists held tightly by one of Copular's hands, his blue hair now being pulled slightly, just so he wouldn’t have enough control of what he was doing. Those thrusts moved his whole body back and forth, and the very friction of his own cock on the mattress made 2D harder and harder.

There was no pain anymore. Just a pure desire to be penetrated, taken, filled with that other creature that immobilized him, and it was Ace's name that Stuart babbled now, like a new mantra that fit so well on his wounded lips.

"A-Ace, I need ... I need ..."

At last, the hand that held the pale wrists finally let them go. He wrapped Stuart's cock stroking it quickly, reproducing on that wet, pulsing cock the same movements Ace imputed within himself.

Stuart's low moans became supplications. Louder, needier.

"Ace, I'm going ... I-I'm going to ...!" _Cum_ , he might have said, but the words didn’t come fast enough. In the same second as he felt the ruthless onslaught that poured Ace's thick jolts into his body, he groaned at one last warning and also came on the green hand wrapped around his cock.

He was filled. Was filled in every millimeter of his body, in each pulsing cell, in each of the internal wounds that once ached. His body was no longer cold and quivering, but warm; hot as the jets of that bassist's pleasure, which now oozed between pale legs as Ace pulled out from himself.

He had replaced his own bad energy with that from Copular, and his energy was so secure. He grunted as he felt the mattress sway through the large body that lay at his side. Stuart's energy had been drained by the pleasure that now he was wrecked around of Ace's hands. But instead of tired, he felt so alive.

With difficulty, he turned around to try to look at the man lying next to him, and what Ace did next made 2D’s face hot once more. With a lascivious smile, he brought his own hand to his mouth and sucked each of his fingers covered with cum, as if he was eating a chocolate syrup or something as sweet as that.

"Don’t ... Don’t do this ..." Stuart groaned uneasily, hiding his face between the pillows, Ace's hoarse laugh reaching his ears.

It was so lovely to see that even after such an intimate moment, Stuart still felt so ashamed to see such a lewd scene. The American only hugged him gently after the lascivious act, continuing to promote affection and comfort to the singer. HE was sure that was what he needed.

 

-x-

 

Murdoc could hear the moans coming from the other room. He could hear the bed banging against the wall, the breaths that gasped at a distance. In the sickness of his paranoia, he thought he could hear sweaty flesh against flesh, the sound of Ace sinking his teeth on the milky skin that was supposed to be only his. New and despicable mark upon Stuart's neck appearing, fucking him as 2D whispered his name like the singer belonged to him...

He was feeling sick. The plate of pancakes went against the wall, the bottle of rum went against the wall. The shards now surrounded Murdoc on all sides, and he was just another piece of them. Curled again in a corner, he covered his own ears in an attempt to no longer hear the rot coming from the next room, but it didn’t work at all. Even when he covered them, Murdoc kept hearing; the moans were louder inside his head than in reality.

"Fuck… Fuck!" He babbled on his own, his body trembling with the hate of being replaced, the tears threatening to fall from his heterochromatic eyes.

The drink was finished before breaking the bottle. Drunk as a skunk, he couldn’t even bring himself to stand up to destroy them; but even if he could hardly walk, he would end their fun, even if he had to crawl.

His vision was blurry as he picked up in his green hands the bulk of the broken rum bottle that consisted of the bottleneck and half of it, where the underside had been reduced to sharp shards. Something that could now do a beautiful damage to the green skin of a certain bass player.

In the absence of a better weapon, it should work. It would show Ace, once and for all, that he would regret touching his property, no longer caring if Stuart would hand him over to the police for killing that bastard or not. Nothing else mattered.

Therefore, he left the room, dragging his feet like a zombie in search of a corpse, his green claws holding the half-broken bottle, where pieces of glass formed sharp edges. However, the closer he got to Ace's room, the less the noises could be heard, as if they barely existed and were only a fruit of his troubled mind.

He narrowed his eyes on the crack of the door, and what he saw made him even more disturbed than he had been before.

A green thorax like his own, but much leaner and much younger, covered in tattoos, moved over another slender body lying on the bed. Both of Ace's tattooed arms were immobilizing a vulnerable Stuart, and 2D’s groans against the pillow filled the room like a melody. The melody once caused only by Murdoc. Those moans belonged to him…

Murdoc felt his own muscles tightening at the sight of that scene. But now, wide-eyed over the crack of the door, as he saw Copular's body crashing against Stuart's, his back arched and his legs spread wide to receive him inside, his blue hair spilled on the pillow that wasn’t his...

His green claws loosened and the rum bottle fell from his hand, completely forgotten. All the blood that once concentrated on the desire to destroy began to focus on a second place, and now Murdoc could feel the blood rushing to his ... Pants? It couldn’t be.

No, he couldn’t be getting hard for a scene like that. Murdoc Niccals didn’t share, he didn’t share. Murdoc Niccals wouldn’t give up what was his, de didn’t go back on his word, didn’t submit to the whims of anyone but his own inflated ego ... But he was definetely hard. And the jealousy that once dominated his actions ... It was now totally gone. Oh, yes, he was as hard as he had been the day before, when he had pressed Stuart against the wall and bit his neck like a piece of meat. The image returned to his troubled mind, not helping his already throbbing erection at all.

He was so hard, his lips instinctively cracked when he saw Ace stroking his singer. Stunned, he averted his eyes and stared at the floor, barely feeling his blood pounding, throbbing and concentrating on his own now-forgotten cock. What the fuck was happening to him? After so long despising the relationship between Ace and Stuart, after so long chastising himself with those imaginary scenes, now that he finally saw them in the real world, he couldn’t help being drawn to them.

Again his hesitant mismatched eyes returned to the scene in front of him, only to be able to contemplate the sweet noises and the feature of his singer as he reached orgasm after his warning that he would cum. It made his cock throb again, this time even more painfully ... Stuart was the sight of paradise when he came. On the other hand, Ace almost immediately after him, also came with a howl of pleasure, which made the hairs on the back of Murdoc's neck rise. The American in that angle was undeniably ... Sexy.

More confused than anything at the moment, Murdoc could only think that he had to do something about his little problem, that by now couldn’t be ignored anymore. When he had more time he would hate and curse himself for being so violently aroused with a scene that was supposed to make him feel nauseated and disgusted... He stumbled back to his room, dropping the half-full bottle on the floor along with all his murder intentions along the way.

He threw himself on the bed and got rid of his pants as fast as he could. His underwear was already wet ... Soaked in precum what made him feel more hateful and disgusted with himself. How much time did he spend there watching them fucking? He spat in his own hand to lubricate it and began stroking himself just like he did when he spent solitary nights in jail thinking of Stuart.

Now as the movements of his hand increased in strength and speed, along with his muffled moans against the pillow, new images filled his mind. He imagined Ace dominating Stuart and possessing him in other possible positions, fucking him mercilessly, the singer moaning and howling with pleasure, calling his name, his black eyes meeting with his while ... Murdoc took part in what was happening? The thought made him cum almost immediately, not being able to restrain himself with the image of another man fucking his singer while Stuart called his name.

He lit Ace's sheets with his cum and then opened his confused eyes, breathing heavily, staring at the ceiling above his head. What had he just done? Had he been aroused and jerked of to something that was his worst nightmare until a few moments ago? Murdoc swallowed hard and closed his eyes tightly, trying to process what had happened. Guilty filling himself completely by now.

If his situation had been bad before, he now understood it: he was completely fucked.


	7. Poorly resolved past

In his earliest memories of Murdoc, Ace Copular wasn’t anything more than a teenager. His room, a sprawling wall of pebbles located on the outskirts of a forgotten city, was filled with posters from Gorillaz's first album; and in those of his posters, Murdoc always occupied a central position. At that time, Ace spent his days listening to that single record, again and again, memorizing the beats, sounds and notes - even though, at that time, he barely knew what a musical note was.

Murdoc Niccals was far from being a God, but there in that dump and miles away, Ace felt like he was, even if Murdoc didn’t even know his existence, Ace being just one more fan of the thousands that Gorillaz had a world wide... So, when he finally became a good bassist, after practicing a lot using Murdoc as his inspiration and model, when he finally got a chance to meet him, the encounter was anything but subtle.

In mid-2003, chit chatting and drunk for hours at a bar with their respective basses, they exchanged experiences almost on an equal basis. Murdoc was surprised to see how a man with so less experience and age could be such a good bass player, and although he didn’t let him exactly touch his precious _El Diablo_ , he ended up letting Ace touch some… other stuff. That American had many other attributes besides the skilled fingers and ears, after all.

Therefore, in a very badly defined situation, they eventually met. Murdoc and Ace met for two years, in a contact less and less productive for music, but increasingly productive for the individual pleasure of each one. Conversations eventually happened, but they never went deeper. They played for a few minutes, fucked for a few hours, then went different ways not seeing each other for another month or two. Everything had become a routine for both of them, which was far from being a negative thing however.

It was very difficult to deal with Murdoc, but it was definitely worth it. At some point, Ace began to feel a bit like him, as if coexistence was permeating his personality with really bad influences he couldn’t bring himself to filter. However, bad influences in general had never been a burden for Ace Copular, and in any case, he had little to lose. Just to gain. Nor did he think that his greatest idol would do any harm to himself merely because of the little coexistence they had.

From the first moment Murdoc ruined his sheets with his claw like nails, Ace’s interest in him had only grown. Seeing his biggest idol moaning in bed, begging to fuck him harder and faster might have been the first big event to ruin Ace's already fucked up mind.

Ace discovered that he had a profound pleasure in torturing Murdoc, in reducing him to a poor creature who begged to be fucked, to get him out of that place of eternal leadership and to force him into submission, at least once in his life. It was the only situation so far that Ace Copular felt more powerful than his idol, destroying the unattainable and unreachable image of the elder. Only he knew how Murdoc Niccals could cry and beg for him that desperately... That made him happy in bed. It was just a sexual fetish. Or at least that was what he said to himself, as he had no other experience of domination upon Murdoc because of the little conviviality they had.

So long in the coexistence with Murdoc, however, modified much more than just his sexual tastes. Gorillaz was growing fast and releasing their second album, hearing that was what made Ace's attention be called to a second creature, who sang like a bird and had the bluest hair he had ever seen in his life. Maybe that one had been the second great event to ruin his mind, no longer so intact. He got lost looking into that pair of dark eyes as probably his soul should be, an admiration for 2D grew in his chest.

He didn’t have time to get to know Stuart well at the time; many things happened. Noodle had apparently suffered an accident and supposedly died, Murdoc disappeared suddenly. Ace no longer heard about him, could hardly contact him. He kept listening to the albums that were released after and still accompanied the stories of Gorillaz’ background, although no longer by the lips of Murdoc. Those lips were already far from his own; perhaps even more distant than they had ever been from the beginning. It was the first time he really got in touch with missing someone ... Of all the people, he missed Murdoc Niccals, and it was much more than just lack of sex. Much more.

The years thus have passed; but even though he no longer had contact with the old Murdoc, his mind eventually wandered about him. What he would be doing? Would he have aged well ...? Why did he disappear all of  a sudden? His head whirled around questions he could never ask him. The image that stayed in his mind was frozen like that submissive Murdoc who begged for him, who wanted him ... The same one who he had fallen in love. Even though he wasn’t sure of anything else that involved the bass player. And that brought him an immense sorrow.

 The wounded pride and the feeling of rejection arose; unparalleled greed arose; but what moved Ace's actions were still, most of all, missing Murdoc. And when Niccals was finally unjustly arrested, on the eve of Ace's entry to Gorillaz, he planned to get him out of jail.

He made up Murdoc a fake passport. He arranged ten thousand pounds in cash. He arranged a reasonably decent escape plan to get him out of the UK and all Europe. He stuffed it all into a suitcase, which he slipped into another suitcase, and unpretentiously tossed it all into his now-rich closet he had purchased with money Gorillaz had given him. There he threw the suitcase and there it stayed with his thoughts and ramblings involving revisiting Murdoc after so many years and if he would really accept his help ... As much as the American didn’t want to be separated from Murdoc again.

The reason ... Well, Ace wasn’t sure why he was doing all that. Now that Murdoc had finally escaped, now that he finally had the chance to prove himself useful and give him the whole plan to save his ass, Ace simply didn’t do it. Why? It wasn’t thinking about him that the American articulated and did everything for? Or Ace didn’t do that to continue keeping Murdoc under his thumb, living with him, not to allow him to escape ... Keeping the company and the coexistence that he missed so much all these years separated from him? _Selfish._

Maybe he was too busy playing “cat and mouse” with Murdoc under his roof to care about the suitcase. Maybe he was too busy bragging secretly about having both of his biggest idols in his now-stunning apartment, depending on his goodwill, doing them a favor. That it did make him feel important. Maybe he was too busy fucking the blue-haired angel now sleeping beside him. Or perhaps he had become as greedy, as selfish, and as controlling as Murdoc - or perhaps even worse.

The reason for hiding the suitcase no longer mattered, because now Ace paid the price of all that. Because while the blue-haired angel slept soundly at his side, Copular couldn’t bring himself to sleep. He rocked back and forth alone and awake, unsuccessfully trying to sleep. He smoked one, two, three cigarettes in sequence, guilty growing inside his chest, his heart twisting in despair and an inner voice whispering softly by his ear:

 

" _Give it all to him. That's enough. "_

 

But how could he do that? Murdoc probably wanted to kill him by now. At the first opportunity, that old man would pull 2D by the arms and drag the thin singer away from him, regardless of whether Stuart was touched by him or not. Probably no suitcase, no fake passport, much less money in cash could redeem Ace for his actions of those last days.

Maybe it had been good for a short time, but now that he had everything - absolutely everything - that he had wanted to have, he felt so ... _Empty_. All that Murdoc had, Ace was able to take away from him, even his freedom ... But now ... even Stuart's toothless grin couldn’t console him. Not even the fact that he had slept with the singer, which was something he had wanted for so long, could alleviate that guilty feeling. He had to finish that. He had to deal with Murdoc. Even if it could mean losing everything he had achieved so far.

With the weight of that dense feeling pulling him down, Ace finally got up from the bed, wearing the same clothes as before, trying to make as little noise as possible to keep Stuart sleeping. In order to take the secret bag out of the closet, he opened it and pulled out a bottle of whiskey together with that suitcase. He knew he would need all the help in the world to deal with Murdoc in the state he was in now.

 

-x-

 

 

After the hardest jerking off of the past six months, Murdoc fell asleep immediately exhausted. He had been sleeping hard, a clear and dreamless sleep, something he hadn’t had in years. He didn’t bother to take a shower, not even to change his clothes; Ace's bedclothes were stained with his now dried cum, and even though he felt a little guilty for what he had done, he also felt a little revenge.

He woke up silently as he heard a certain person open the door of the guest room. With his back turned to the door, he didn’t move a muscle at all. His heart raced in the uncertainty of not knowing who was coming in, but judging by his discretion and the silent pace, it had to be Ace. He preferred to remain motionless, pretending to be asleep.

"Are you awake, Doc?" He called in a high-pitched voice, and Murdoc heard him close the door behind him. They stayed in the almost absolute darkness. "I… need to talk to you."

Something was off in that tone of voice. Ace looked frail, maybe depressed, as he called out at that moment. Murdoc only frowned, remaining motionless. In a flash, he remembered the disturbing and exciting fantasy in which Ace fucked Stuart in every possible position, and well ... He swallowed hard, already awake, and yes, he wanted to hear what that man had to say to him. What could Copular now say? Did he come to rub in his face how good it was to have fucked his Bluebird?

"Are you sure you're not awake, Doc? I have something here that might interest you ..."

Murdoc didn’t know for sure whether he turned around cuz of the smell of whiskey or cuz of Ace's almost sexual appeal. Although they were interacting minimally a few days ago, it had been forever since they didn’t have a moment alone like that. Since the days of Gorillaz, when they used to be together ... The feeling of being alone with Ace gave him the impression that there were things to be said; things that had been accumulated for years and needed to be discussed. Would he have the courage to do that? Someone like him who was completely averse to feelings and avoided them at all costs?

A small smile formed on Ace's lips when he saw that Murdoc was turning his gaze to him and finally paying attention. He had finally stopped to really face those tired eyes ... the same eyes from years ago. His messy hair and the fact that he wore one of his large pajamas almost allowed Ace to see it all with humor, but the fact was that the subject being treated wasn’t the best now. So he raised the bottle of whiskey to the height of the older man's eyes and asked, in the most naive tone he had ever been able to forge:

"Can I sit here with you?"

Murdoc grunted something in annoyance. He averted his gaze. He wanted to hate Ace as he had hated earlier that day, but since he'd seen him with Stuart ... Since he'd seen him with his Bluebird, his feelings turned into a real mess. Everything except hate filled his insides, which was something really odd ... He hated when people touched what was his property ... But one day, in a remote time, Ace was also his. And worse, he wanted to be touched by him just as Stuart had been ... Was Murdoc Niccals jealous?

"Now you're asking?" He mumbled, glancing at him. "You want to buy me with this, a cheap Whiskey?" He amended, pointing to the bottle he held. "I'm not as easy as I used to be in the past, Ace." He blatantly lied, Ace didn’t even have to bring that despicable liquid to have his attention, all he had to do was snap his fingers and Murdoc would be on his knees in front of him. A thicker voice, a command, a severer look ... Anything would make him beg and bow his head to the younger male. The thought made the hairs on his arm bristle. He missed that control over himself, which Stuart didn’t have as the singer was naturally passive.

 The truth was that Murdoc had drunk almost a whole bottle of rum that same day, and his body was knackered. If he hadn’t slept that afternoon, maybe he'd been drunk still. Anyway, being alone with Ace in that silent room, after all he'd seen ... It was even better that he wasn’t sober to deal with the unpredictable American. He didn’t want to deal with his own emotions. He didn’t want to lose control in front of him, not now ... Having Murdoc and Stuart under his thumb ... It was too much power for Ace, too dangerous if it got to his head.

Copular took a few steps toward him and sat down on the floor beside his bed. Now facing him, his eyes accustomed to the darkness of the room, Murdoc could see that he was bringing something along with him. It seemed to be a ... Bag. What the fuck Ace wanted with that there? Would he finally going to throw him out on the street? He didn’t even have his things to pack before leaving, Murdoc hadn’thing. He swallowed hard and looked away, tearing the bottle from his hands.

He opened the seal and took big, big sips. Seeing him drinking that way sent Ace back in time, to those early years. Years in which things seemed to be simpler, no replacements, no quarrels in the band, no jealousy or mutual resentments, no hard feelings at all, everything lighter. A time that was already gone and would never come back, but Murdoc... Murdoc still had salvation.

 Ace never failed to see something positive in the older, never failed to believe in his good side ... He knew that Stuart was the same way with Murdoc, and was happy that despite having lost contact with him for all these years, Murdoc was in good hands with 2D to take care of him... Maybe if it wasn’t for the singer he wouldn’t even be there in front of him now.

Murdoc seemed to have made it even better in spite of being aged. Having lost weight after prison, in those large clothes now wet from the whiskey that escaped his lips, he looked better than ever. His exhausted, drunken features were part of his sex appeal, and Ace knew how to enjoy it. As he watched him swallow those big, closed-eyed gulps, he imagined for a second, just a brief second, how it would be better if Murdoc was sucking something nicer than that bottle ...

Oh, shit. Maybe he shouldn’t even have left that room. If he gave the suitcase to Murdoc, would he lose him for good? Ace bit his lip, watching the scene in front of hin unfold. He could still drink like old times even now being 52... Niccals finally lowered the bottle and looked at it suspiciously, leaning against the wall nonchalantly.

"Doc, I ..." Ace started, unsure of what to say. He frowned, trying to find words that didn’t come. His face was turned to the ground, but he watched Murdoc out of the corner of his eye. He would have to force the words out, or they would never leave his green lips. He regretted not having drank that whiskey before lending it to the thirsty Murdoc Niccals.

"I’m sorry."

Murdoc blinked, not seeming to understand what it was about.

"What?" He asked, his face now taken in confusion. After a few seconds, Murdoc laughed, mocking. He shook his head at Ace in disbelief. "Is that some sick joke? Are you trying to fuck with me? "

"No Doc... That's not it ... "If Murdoc knew he really wanted to fuck, but not in the way the other thought ...

The first move had failed, but Ace still had a few others. If he hadn’t spent much of the last two days torturing or isolating Murdoc, he might not have been so discredited with his confidence. Above all to ruin everything he had fucked Stuart.

"I'm sorry, Doc. Sorry you were arrested ..." He gestured in the air, irritated. "For all this shit that had happened ... For you being here in this house ... For having lost your freedom ..." He paused for a second, clearing his throat, he was as bad as the elder to apologize. Murdoc stared at him in utter shock, as if he had seen a ghost. "For sleeping with Stuart ... And all the other shit that happened and ..."

"You still suck with words, mate." Murdoc laughed smugly, seeing that even as the years passed, Ace only knew how to babble in what he had to say just to have the other's attention not even knowing what he was talking about. "You know none of the things you listed are your fault ... They’re all mine, so you haven’thing to apologize for, Ace." He explained softly folding his arms.

"Yeah, I know." Ace rolled his eyes and ran his hand over his face, tired. He couldn’t speak exactly what he wanted, Murdoc was right about that, but now he knew that he had all of Murdoc's attention to himself and that he was really listening to him, what he wanted from the beggining ... And that they were no longer on the warpath, at least for now.

A brief sigh left his lips as he looked sideways and finally got where he wanted. "I have something for you ... Inside the suitcase." Maybe it wasn’t the time to speak anymore, it was time for action ... Cuz all the things that he knew that had to be said, missed the opportunity when back there years ago, fate had separated them. Words were lost by now.

Murdoc Niccals was now a well of mistrust. He looked at him from side to side, eyes narrowed toward Ace. Why would he trust Ace again? Either way, he took another big sip of the whiskey bottle and dropped it on the bed, the last liquid courage he needed to really listen to Copular and give him some credit, maybe what he had to say was something really interesting for him after all. He dropped himself to the floor and crawled toward the suitcase, then zipped open.

Green hands, now shaking with nervousness, pulled out what appeared to be a passport. Murdoc blinked his eyes, trying to make sure he could see into the darkness what was in front of him. He frowned, drawing the pages of his passport out of his weary sight, just to make sure the passport was his and it was fake. The photo was his, but neither his name nor the fingerprints belonged to him. The pages of the passport, the colors, everything ... Everything seemed to have been done by a professional in plans of escaping.

But it couldn’t be ... It couldn’t be.

Either way, he threw his passport aside and started rummaging through the suitcase again, his heart racing in a fraction of a second. Found there lots and lots of money in cash. He found maps that crossed terrestrial routes and air routes, as if his accomplice had also researched the best times and the best routes to get him out of Europe without being caught.

That was ... Perfect. Murdoc now had his passport, he had the money, even a fucking comparative of routes to get him outta there. But where had all this come from?

Breathing hard, he scattered all those documents on the floor. He looked at it one by one, his eyes wide, his blinks strong as if he were still trying to convince himself that he was dreaming. It couldn’t be the drink joking with him ... It was real, it wasn’t a sick joke from Ace. He pinched himself just to make sure of what seemed most impossible: it was true.

His chest twisted with hope, small tears forming in the corner of his eyes. Maybe he had a chance to get away from the police, after all. To be free again. Perhaps he had already gained enough time to get rid of them and to follow a plan that seemed to be perfect, which seemed to have been made for himself, and which definitely seemed to have been done by another criminal who had also escaped countless times from the police and. ..

Shaking, he lifted his shining eyes to Ace.

"You ... did you do this for me?" He whispered, barely able to find the right words. His heart was now beating so fast that Murdoc felt it in his throat. "Why?" He said, clenching his fists as an avalanche of feelings flooded his mind that he didn’t know how to deal with.

Ace took some time to understand that he should react at that moment. Just watch Murdoc scatter those documents on the floor, just watch him looking at them frantically and finding in each of them what could be his salvation ... That simple vision made a smile be formed on his lips, impossible to be contained. Now, with that surprised, teary-eyed face, he knew exactly why he had done all this for him. In addition, that never in any case Ace would do something like that for anyone else in his life.

For a brief second, it was as if guilt didn’t exist anymore; it was as if he wasn’t only redeemed by sex with Stuart, but perhaps redeemed for taking Murdoc's place on Gorillaz. Perhaps he had been redeemed by all those years of separation, and even by the days when he had omitted those documents. Still, Ace couldn’t bring himself to answer him.

 The relief was immense, but still not enough to get him out of that state of torpor to see his (still) idol almost in tears in front of him for something he had done to save his sorry ass ... He felt that everything, absolutely everything was worth to have culminated in that moment.

Love, longing, admiration were words that hadn’t been part of his vocabulary for a long time, at least until the moment he had joined Gorillaz. By the time he got that stupid call with that voice impossible not to recognize even aged, asking Ace to replace him in his band in the middle of the night while Murdoc didn’t explain anything that was happening leaving Ace again all night long without sleep. When he first heard he was arrested .... The mix of emotions was so overwhelming that it lead him to a night anchored drinking in the bar. It was a blessing and a curse at the same time.

 Therefore, Ace considered those three words, but he couldn’t use any of them. Instead, he would only shake his head awkwardly and shrug, as if his attitude had been something very simple; as if he had hardly had any trouble getting the documents and all that amount of money together for Murdoc.

Murdoc, however, wouldn’t accept that shrug as an answer. Watching him with eyes still wet and feeling his whole body shaking, he crawled toward the younger, male, the fake passport again in his hand, just so he could show it to Ace, forcing him to look at it.

"Why?" He asked again, now in an indignant whisper, the hand of the passport shaking in front of the youngest. His teeth clenched in despair, his face contorted in disbelief, a look of almost despair ... that he knew would force Ace to speak.

Ace glanced at him. Proximity to that man was something he'd been yearning for years. A few centimeters away now, and Murdoc in that deplorable emotional state, the hope glittering in his tired eyes, his broad clothes smelling of whiskey ... No, that didn’t help. Nothing was helping the American now. And even if Copular on some level knew that reconciliation might not happen that way, the truth was now this: he was hard. He was as painfully hard as he hadn’t laid for years.

Murdoc took a deep breath to ask his "Why?" Again, but he was interrupted. Still glancing at him, Ace was quicker to answer him at once, the words coming out as if taking a heavy burden off his chest.

"For you. I did it all for you, Doc." he replied simply.

Murdoc no longer knew what he was doing. It hadn’t been three or four hours since he'd had his hardest jerk off at the man who now seemed to care about him. Care much more than pure sex.

He had thought for a long time that he hadn’t missed Ace, tried to convince himself of that, but once seeing him fuck Stuart hard and rough that way his cock had come to the hurt of need, and now ... His eyes were fixed on lips as green as his. Copular's breath was beating against his face, and Murdoc felt that same scent of mint gum that he hadn’t felt for ... Years.

He felt himself again small, insignificant ... Wanting to be just manipulated and treated well by that man in front of him. By his strong and big skillful hands. He no longer wanted to be the Murdoc Niccals leader of Gorillaz, wanted and outlawed criminal ... He wanted only to be ... _Doc_ , like Ace called him affectionately.

Maybe that's why he felt his body warm up and his eyes nearly closed when he felt his wrist being held by Ace, his hands now opening and his passport falling miserably to the ground. Two pairs of tired eyes looked at each other for a brief, brief second. Ace's were full of longing, need, desire. Murdoc's were ... Murdoc didn’t know what his eyes were showing, but they were still wet and he was overwhelmed with emotion trying to hold back the tears that insisted on shedding.

Perhaps he was so lost with the latest information that he didn’t even know what he felt. He should have gotten drunk a little more.

" _I missed you, Doc_ ..." he whispered at the older man's ear, to which Murdoc finally closed his eyes and bit his lip hard. He still had the same power he wielded over Murdoc years ago ... That was the proof. Seated on his heels, he swayed as his green hand pulled at him, his entire body leaning over Ace's, his hands instinctively leaning against the wall ahead. His legs weakening just as he felt when he heard him saying the same words years ago after they had been separated for months.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Murdoc muttered, trying to get up keeping his strong face and using reason again as his body no longer obeyed him ... being guided only by desire, to which he was pulled back and forced to return to his original position. His knees hit the ground heavily, and Murdoc moaned. "What the fuck are you doing to me, Copular ...?" It had been a while since he had used his last name to refer to him ... That was definitely a serious situation.

"Your clothes are wet ..." He whispered to him, closing his hands over the bottom of the T-shirt Murdoc wore, wishing he could pull it up.

Murdoc was hard as rock, but his damaged dignity wouldn’t allow him to lie with Ace like that. Not that way, not after everything that had happened in the last days, not after that son of a bitch fucking Stuart ... But his body already wanted Ace so bad ... The accumulated tears now were of nervousness, of despair to still feel so weak over Ace’s actions. For feeling unable to fight, to resist ... But he wouldn’t let them fall. Murdoc still had some dignity left.

He gasped, thinking of taking off the green hands that lifted the bottom of his T-shirt, but he couldn’t. His gaze was on the tent already formed in the pants between Ace's legs; instead of using his hand to push it away, he used it to rub it and press that volume, both emitting guttural growls when that touch happened.

The lewd smile on Ace's face spoke for itself: Murdoc was still the perverted son of a bitch he had always been. So he didn’t react; getting rid of his own T-shirt and just leaving Murdoc touching his hard on for a few seconds, the smile deepening in his face as his cock grew harder and harder with the hands that massaged him, just separated from real flesh to flesh touch by those damned pants.

Niccals seemed in a trance. His whole blood stream was concentrated in his lower parts, and his breathing deepened, utterly panting. Not only did he feel Ace's hard cock, but the surroundings; his thigh, groin, the tattooed arms and chest now on display.

He felt like a child with a new toy, seeming to force himself to feel that Ace was really there in front of him. Trying to show with attitudes, since he was also shit with words, how much he had missed the American after all those years. Ace was such a younger version, so much more muscular, so much more attractive ... And as that volume grew in his hands, the images of the fuck between him and Stuart returned to his mind, Murdoc now salivating while babbling nonsense.

"The way you fucked him ..." he whispered, closing his eyes for a brief second, just to remember those tasty images, the words much faster in his twisted, drunken mind than he could handle.

"Fucked who ...?" The whisper came back almost immediately, if Murdoc thought he wasn’t heard, he was mistaken. Ace said, interspersed with a new groan as he was now touched more strongly.

" _Stuart_."

Ace's pupils widened when he heard the name. He slid the body into the wall only to lie down a little more, keeping only a little head up to see him. The hand drew Murdoc's wrist one last time, strong enough for him to unbalance and lean once more over his body. But this time, Murdoc didn’t back away. His cock was so hard, he felt his precum already wetting his underwear, even if it hadn’t even been touched.

"Is this what we're talking about, Doc?" Ace whispered, doing the work of unbuttoning and pulling down his own pants, just to get his already throbbing cock out of there. _"Did you see me fucking Stuart and now you want to be fucked just like him?"_

Murdoc groaned regretfully, feeling the younger's hands closing on his buttocks. He shivered violently as he was unable to respond immediately to the American ... Ace was so quick to ask the right question at the right moment ... He knew him like nobody else, which still made him even more excited, melting under his touch. That son of a bitch's wit was like gasoline to his fire. He wanted to get slapped in the face, to be punished for being nosey ... He wanted ...

"Get your fucking pants off now." Ace's voice came again as an order, the elder desperately now getting rid of the pants that choked him and kicking them away, almost apologizing in the act. How much did he miss someone giving him orders instead of following his own...

He cast a languid glance at Ace's throbbing cock, a disfigured smile forming for a second, because he craved for it. His whole body vibrated to be touched by him, but Ace barely touched him. Which made him happy too, content to have to please to be able to receive what he wanted, some pleasure. He liked the tension of difficulty, deprivation, the game that Ace always played and he always lost .... He knew he was doing it on purpose, just to torture him.

Murdoc's lips babbled a "Fuck yes…" but no sound came out. He nodded again, slowly and desperately ... His eyes with even more tears than before, when he finally found himself accepting how much he had missed Ace. His eyes didn’t cross those of the American, but they lingered on the chest, arms, thighs that were now within reach. He was feeling terribly hypnotized by that body.

"Let me see if you can do this as well as he does ..." Copular teased, a new smile forming on his lips as well.

In a hurry, Murdoc positioned one leg on each side of the body lying down. Ace's body was warm, hot as a sauna, and just by touching it, Murdoc sweat. There were no longer any pieces of clothing that separated them when he looked at the man lying in a mute request to prepare him. He couldn’t ride Ace under those conditions; his precum was already flowing on all sides, but his tight passage, well ... He needed some preparation. He hadn’t been touched this way for months since he was in prison ... Well, because he really protected himself, there was plenty of people wanting to rape him in that Hellhole.

But damn, Ace was willing to torture him, as he often did when they first met. Despite his kindness to Stuart, there was a morbid pleasure in making Murdoc suffer.

"I don’t think so," he whispered, arching his eyebrows in an evil smile. "I bet you can handle it on your own, Doc ... You always did it so well ... I'm sure you didn’t forget how to do it huh?" He provoked him again by clutching his buttocks lasciviously. It was delicious, he could tease and order him ... He didn’t have to be that soft as he was with 2D ... It was all he craved.

That son of a bitch ... But it didn’t matter. Murdoc needed, craved, yarned! Therefore, what he did was wet his own fingers with his mouth and lead them alone to his own entrance, in a solitary attempt to prepare himself.

He gasped as he touched himself, naturally with a little difficulty because of the angle, the position, his situation... The pain that came he knew would be greatly amplified seeing that Ace was big still as he used to be ... His face was so hot, burning, but there was a deep groan coming out of Ace's throat as he watched, and that only made him harder and wetter…

The American’t to be so cruel, Strokedn him while doing his work, grabbing both erections together, to give him some pleasure and to make Murdoc associate that pain again with pleasure coming from him. It was so good to have him touching himself in front of him, just for him. A private show. He moaned his name like a mantra, masturbating him to excite the bassist even more. Her heart writhed in longing. He just wanted to make Murdoc forget the pain as fast as he could.

At last, Murdoc finished his work. Completely panting, drooling with pleasure, he rested his hands on Ace's chest and finally began to go down on him, a long and painful moan leaving his throat as he went lower and lower, as slowly as he could, his tight ass throbbing and his face contracting into an expression of pain. Now he could no longer contain his tears.

Slowly he was able to sit on him, again more emotions attached to longing invading his mind with the feeling of invasion, failing miserably and having to return a few times along the way, Ace's gasping breath banging his fringe. Ace just smiled and stroked his hair to encourage him to go forward, the sight was painfully pleasurable. He moaned and whispered his name reassuringly.

He tried again and again. His muscles worked to drive Copular out of himself, but Murdoc insisted. Those two things didn’t seem to have been made to fit together, but it was enough to feel Ace's pre-cum touching his skin to vibrate with need, insisting on forcing himself down. He never thought he'd be in a situation like this ...

"Fuck ..." Ace's moan came from below, the younger male shutting his eyes tightly and his whole face drenched in unequaled pleasure as Murdoc bounced on his cock so slowly ... He wanted to make Ace suffer back with slowness too ... It was like a silent revenge as he knew that the American didn’t like anything going slow.

Until he finally succeeded. Murdoc sat all over him, his tight ass pulsing around Ace's cock, his eyes finally opening to meet his full with proud of being able to make it alone. The transfigured smile crossed Murdoc's face, the physical pleasure mingling with the pleasure of getting there alone. Sick pride of his lonely actions. But Ace wouldn’t let him brag for long, of course not. Murdoc was inferior, he had to keep him that way.

With a new yelp from Murdoc, the younger one pulled his trunk once more to himself, immobilizing him in a new embrace.

"You did so well, Doc ..." he whispered into his ear, watching as each of the other's hair shivering at his touch. "I'm so proud of you, my good boy." How that son of a bitch knew how much Murdoc loved to be praised, especially in sex. He sunk his nails on his back, and Murdoc muffled a moan. "Now let me finish this for you ... You've done enough ..." he laughed wickedly as the older man turned into jelly into his arms, totally losing his stout pose.

The moans became screams as Ace's hip moved upward, the deep thrusts widening the entire pulsating interior of Murdoc. His immobilized back tried to arch in vain, the pain being replaced immediately by a surreal pleasure that reduced his sanity to dust. Taken over with the desire to make him his  too, Murdoc sunk his sharp teeth on the neck that was within his reach, Ace interrupting his thrusts by his own howling of pain and dropping the younger one on the ground, now even more thirsty.

On the floor, Ace's blood mixed with the saliva that came from his own mouth, Murdoc prepared to receive him spreading his legs in an obscene way.

"More ..." he moaned, lying down and pushing his buttocks apart, showing Ace the vision of paradise he already knew. "M-More, Ace, please ..." Maybe he was even better than Stuart himself ....? That thirst, despair, need that he already knew and loved ... It blossomed so beautifully in front of him, in an immense naturalness ... A devotion, submission ... Everything he missed most.

"M-More ..." Ace repeated mechanically, pulling him down by his ankle and positioning himself this time on him, his hands flat on the floor next to Niccals's body.

No second preparation was done. Murdoc was already wrapping his own cock in one hand and stroking himself, desperate for more touching. With the other, he still held one of his buttocks apart, the size of his desperation to have him inside him once more.

Ace came again, even thirstier and more intense. Murdoc received him once more, the thrusts now reverberating and vibrating the entire floor. Few entries were enough for the youngest to reach his sweet spot, Murdoc then moaning with desire and rolling his eyes to the back of him head, absolutely bliss being treated like the whore he was. He loved being filled that way, and missed him so much.

"In ... Inside!" He moaned, in a request to receive his cum inside him; and it was almost immediate.

With a howl of pleasure, Ace cum into the Satanist, his jizz coming out in hot, long-lasting jets that filled him, hot and thick ... Murdoc immediately moaned loudly his name as he also felt his orgasm coming out in uninterrupted jets, his whole body vibrating with pleasure, the warmth of Ace's body passing to his in an almost magnetic way.

They didn’t move for a few seconds, until Ace pulled out of him and fell down beside him, still panting. Both men stood motionless and gasping for air for a few minutes, two pairs of eyes fixed on the ceiling of the dark room.

The first to make a move was Ace. He cast a sad look at his pants, which were too far away. If only he could overcome his fatigue and reach for a cigarette ... But it was useless.

"Doc ..." he murmured, to which Murdoc cast a glance to the side, watching him. "I'll get you out of here. I'll save you from the police. They will never reach us. "

Murdoc rolled his eyes, indifferent. Was that Ace's way of declaring himself and saying that he cared? Well, whatever, he couldn’t even tell what he felt in words either ... It was as romantic as the two idiots could be.

The truth was that he still felt his body throbbing, Ace’s cum oozing from his ass down his legs. He wanted to tell him many things too, but he didn’t know exactly how; they were two men who were terrible at finding the right words related to feelings. But it was then that Murdoc had an idea of what they could do till 2D wake up to let him know the new plan of escape.

"So ..." he murmured, drumming his fingers over his own chest. "Is your bass out there?"

Ace's eyes widened and he smiled widely at him, not believing what he was hearing. His cheeks turned red and he was for a moment almost getting emotional by the simple question of the Satanist. Would his biggest idol give him another chance to play along with him again, even after all those years? His expression was now of a child receiving new candy, and even a laugh escaped smiling lips.

"Great, go get it, idiot." Murdoc also smiled sideways, glaring at him with complicity. For some reason, seeing Ace's smile brought him a sense of warmth and comfort. A feeling he wasn’t used to. But not to lose the stupid habit, he added:

" _Let's see how much you still have to learn."_


	8. Lie over Lie

With sleep still lingering after Murdoc's entire stay in jail, Stuart finally slept well. He slept hard for hours. Ace's bed consisted of a big, firm mattress, and there he wrapped himself in the sheets that held him back. He was still naked, because for the first time in a while, he felt ... Safe. And strangely he felt totally knocked out, even though he hadn’t taken his pills the night before, which was a very good detail. Maybe all the exhaustion had come from the earlier fuck.

For almost six months, the nightmares with Murdoc were frequent. In those terrible dreams, Murdoc tried to escape from the police and crashed into trucks, fell from abysses, from buildings, was shot dead, or something else even worse happened, culminating in his death. However, this time ... This time, Stuart didn’t have a nightmare. For the first time in six months, he dreamed that Murdoc was playing his bass. Simple as that.

"Look at this passage, Dents!" He heard the thick, unmistakable voice of the older man giving orders, clear in the dream, as if he was really speaking to himself. It was such a common situation, so different from all the other dreams he'd had ... It was almost peaceful to see Murdoc like that, for sure.

Yes, it was him. That deep, deep strum, deliberately dissonant at times, but which vibrated his rib cage from miles away, could only be his. The floor vibrated. His heart vibrated. His void eyes were filled with the joy of seeing him play after so long. Stuart watched the scene close, mesmerized by that sound. The clothes that Murdoc wore were still that orange uniform from jail, but his gaze was different.

Instead of looking at the notes or the strings, Murdoc kept his eyes on himself. Looking at him dead in the eye. A gaze so deep, with such a piercing smile, that all Stuart could do was watch him back, unable to sing anything. Unable to react. The image in front of him looked very much the same as he used on the big screen when he was going to sing Souk Eye live ...

However, there was ... Something wrong. The sound of the bass was strange. That bass couldn’t be El Diablo, of course it couldn’t. Murdoc's face seemed distorted, blurred ... The timbre and the way it vibrated made it sound like it was ... Like he was ...

 

-

 

He woke up in a start, his heart pounding frantically  inside his chest in the certainty that he couldn’t have fallen asleep. The sound that came to his ears wasn’t from the dream, but from reality. Murdoc was playing Ace's bass, and judging from the silence of the rest of the house, something might have happened already when he was asleep.

Murdoc said he was going to kill him. Fucking kill him! How could Stuart have fallen asleep in a situation like that? Ah yes, of course, dead tired after an intense and rough fuck session, letting himself be carried away by his desires while a murder occurred on the other side of the wall ... Explained.

He tried to get up so fast that his legs wrapped up in the sheets causing a new accident; Stuart rolled miserably to the floor falling flat on his face, the noise of the crash echoing throughout the room and whole apartment, as well as a long groan of pain.

"Shit ... Fuck!" He whispered to himself, running his hand over and over again on the place that had been hit. His head whirled, thinking of all the possibilities the worst could have already happened and he was running so desperately to ... Nothing.

He dressed as fast as he could. Still buttoning up and zipping his jeans, he hurried out into the hallway, slipping into his socks before finally reaching the room where Murdoc had been staying.

He practically broke the door, panting and fumbling. His damaged brain took some time to figure out what was going on there.

Two men in underwear were seated one facing the other; Murdoc on the edge of the bed, Ace on the floor watching him. Murdoc had the young man's bass on his lap, and there he played a few notes that vibrated the whole room, exploring with his feet two pedals on the floor. They shared cigarettes and a bottle of whiskey, like damned best friends in a fucking pajama party.

The moment 2D entered the room them both frozen in their positions, Murdoc still with his fingers paralyzed on the strings, but his eyes now on him. Ace turned to look at the singer as well. A silence permeated the room, which until then had been so noisy. Stuart looked around for traces of blood, fighting, bruising on the men ... But he saw nothing, being relieved and confused at the same time.

"What the fuck ..." 2D stammered, looking from one to the other. "What the fuck is going on here...?" He said in an extremely confused tone, a part of himself almost wanting the two of them to have tried to kill themselves so his fall, his wounds and his despair wouldn’t have been in vain. He put his hand on the injured spot on his body once the adrenaline subsided and the pain returned.

Murdoc looked so relaxed up to then, so comfortable, he didn’t even seem the same as a few hours ago. He seemed even quiet, which was very strange to his standards being close to the American, for which he seemed to harbor an immense hatred. Ace, on the other hand looked at 2D as if he had just remembered something really serious, as if he had suddenly been pulled back into reality after a long trance. He had a different glow in his eyes, the same glow that Stuart saw when he was being fucked by Ace ... Was he directing that same look at Murdoc? What the hell had happened to change everything so fast? He smelled and it was smell of .... Sex? It couldn’t be. They couldn’t have shagged.

Copular's face transfigured in a few seconds, Ace immediately opening his famous, wide, cynical, supposedly relaxed smile. He didn’t know how Stuart would react to his new rapprochement with Murdoc, but he knew really well how to pretend he had no concern at all, putting everyone in a less tense mood, like everything was okay, disregarding what should be the main subject. It was impressive how he did it even better than Murdoc, seeming to have learned from him how to be the host of the situations and guide everything according to his intentions.

"Stewie!" He shouted, immediately dropping the cigarette in the ashtray to the floor and standing up, walking toward the singer and holding him by his shoulders, pulling him deeper into the picture, dragging him into the bedroom. "Welcome! Me and Murdoc were ... "He fumbled a little, only seeming to remember now that he and Murdoc were still in their underwear. He cleared his throat before recovering self-confidence, mending, as if it weren’thing: "You know ... getting in touch, playing a little. Like old times. " _When we used to fuck too_ his mind spoke alone.

Stuart was being dragged into the middle of the room. His damaged brain was slow to understand, but neither Murdoc nor Ace looked hurt. They looked like two friends having a good time, even if they were in underwear, relatively suspicious; and even if he found it strange, almost impossible for Murdoc Niccals, Stuart smiled as he saw the older man with the bass in his hands looking happy and no longer wanting to murder his replacement.

"This ... Seriously, Murdoc?" He asked, with a gleam of hope in his blank stare. "Were you ... Just playing?" His slow brain clearly didn’t identify the double meaning in that phrase.

Murdoc looked at him from top to bottom, realizing how a simple reaction of joy on Stuart's face was able to leave him with a chest so warm and so ... Comfortable. Stuart smiling was something rare in those days; and for a brief second, he was mesmerized by that almost happy face, a bit slow to reply to his question. It was so rare to have Stuart smiling in that open way to himself. Genuinely happy.

"I ... Yeah, Dents." He shrugged, looking away, uncomfortable with the warm feeling blooming inside his chest. He wasn’t used to those emotions, and they made him uncomfortable and even more confused since the accident involving both of them earlier. Feeling horny was one thing, but feeling ... Loved? "Ace still has a lot to learn" he completed in sequence, directing the wicked look at Ace and smiling maliciously, holding up not to say he had a lot to learn from the bass and in bed as well.

Stuart nodded, his mind clearing, finally getting to understand that yes, everything was okay, and no, he didn’t need to worry because no one in there was life-threatening. His void eyes raced across the room, pausing in a forgotten suitcase at the corner.

"What's that?" He pointed at the bag with curiosity, then took a few steps toward it. However, preventing stuart from getting too close,  Ace's large body stepped in front of him, blocking his way.

"That, well ... It's something we're about to explain to you…" replied Copular with that same smile, but that seemed to no longer carry such self-confidence, perhaps some nervousness. Had Stuart heard what had happened in that room before? Or was he just sleeping?

Stuart narrowed his eyes at him, suspicious. Something wasn’t fitting in there. It wasn’t something that Ace would do normally, especially when Stuart had been the leader of the band for some time; he felt himself confronted when he was prevented by the bass player.

"What is it to be explained? What are you two hiding from me? "He asked, removing one of the green hands that were already on his shoulders and disengaging Ace, insisting on approaching the suitcase. If there was one thing the singer didn’t like was to be upset and be the last to know something.

That wasn’t supposed to happen that way. Now that Murdoc knew about his escape plan, of course he and Ace would explain to the singer all the details. However, it was a risky plan. It involved being brave enough to get out of that house, to use fake documents to escape and to hide from police officers, to go somewhere distant and uncertain, of course Stuart wouldn’t accept that ... Yet there was the fact that the two had agreed to the plan before talking to him ... What if he didn’t accept? They still had Russel and Noodle on their way, who would surely miss the singer and he certainly wouldn’t want to leave ... A new hiatus?

The risk they would run would be far greater than they ran while they stayed in that apartment, isolated forever, until Murdoc's escape fell into oblivion. But what kind of life would be one in isolation? And how long would that absurd idea last? They living together as rats?

Anyway, Stuart knelt beside the suitcase and finally opened it, no longer caring about Ace or Murdoc trying to stop him. Something about it didn’t smell good and Stuart wanted to find out what they were up to without him. His anxiety was already going through the roof, considering millions of bullshit.

 His pale hands took out all the stuff that were related to Murdoc's escape: the fake passport, the money, maps scrawled with intersecting routes ... But it couldn’t be ... He couldn’t ... What? Was that all of that?

"Is this some kind of joke?" He whispered, looking at those documents frantically, as if they could talk and explain themselves. But they couldn’t. Stuart felt his heart racing, cold sweat trickling down his temples as he grew more and more nervous, feeling something had been hidden from him and not wanting to believe that.

He scattered those papers on the floor now, trying to understand them. That passport had Murdoc's photo, but it wasn’t his ... It wasn’t really him ...

"Hey, Dents ... Dents ... _Dents_!" Murdoc shouted his name, causing Stuart to awaken from his trance of panic, his now white eyes directed at him, completely lost. He realized now that Murdoc was kneeling before him, hands on his shoulders, looking at him seriously. Stuart gasped.

"This is to get us out of here," he said more calmly, now that he felt he had the attention of the singer. "That passport ..." He took Stuart's hand, which was now carrying the document, lifting it to his eyes height. "It could be our way out of here. It's an escape plan ... "

"I ... I don’t understand." The singer shook his head, still very nervous, trying to find answers now on each other's face. "This is dangerous, Murdoc ... We can put everything at risk ... If you go out on the street ... If you go out and they find you ..."

He wanted to say a lot more explaining why it was insane, even though he was sure they both knew it, they weren’t morons ... But looking at Ace behind him with a condescending smile, everything fit. The plan was made by both of them and they wanted to shove Stuart in the middle of that mess ... And those things ... Was it Murdoc? Did they both have something else going on between them that Stuart didn’t know?

By now, he was in a panic crisis again, but in the midst of all the terror in his face, he seemed to come to a new conclusion. He frowned at Murdoc, his fear now being replaced by even more confusion.

"Wait a minute, Murdoc ..." He lowered his hands and moved away, now looking to another direction. "You ... have you had this all this time?" He raised his accusing eyes to himself. "During all those days ... You made this all up and you didn’t tell me anything. Did you hide it from me? "Now the confusion was replaced by anger ...

The situation seemed to get worse by the second. Besides Murdoc having an escape plan that seemed extremely risky and dangerous, he hadn’t told Stuart anything. When he had had time to plan that all? Didn’t him trust himself?

All those days in a state of deep dread, thinking that Murdoc and Ace could kill themselves at any moment ... And now that ... All his nervousness had been in vain? In the end, Murdoc had always had his own solution, he had always a way and he simply didn’t want to share it with him. Stuart felt like an idiot for all the desperation he had felt while he was away ... When he thought he had died ....

The singer shook his head negatively, tears - from fear for the plan and from sadness for lack of confidence - sprouting in his eyes. Murdoc had lied to himself ... Again. By this time, Niccals' rough voice was already filled with anger, in a self-defensive reaction.

"I didn’t fucking hide anything..." he whispered angrily as he felt Stuart let go of his wrist, which until then held him. Now the singer stood up, ready to leave that room and take refuge in another one, because he couldn’t deal with that situation. But Ace's voice broke through the air, grabbing both attentions.

"I'm sorry, Stewie ... It wasn’t Doc this time." He had to make a statement seeing Stuart so nervous that way, he couldn’t bear to see him crying ... Neither he nor Murdoc.

The blue-haired man stopped halfway, nibbling his own lips to stop himself. His fists clenched, the tears still hanging from his eyes. He felt himself tremble as Copular's voice continued to reach his ears.

"Sorry, Stewie ..." he repeated, looking hesitant. The voice was no longer from someone who smiled, but from someone who felt remorse. "I was just trying to help ..."

In fact he had really lurked and lied for them all that time, living under the same roof as the singer. That was ... Inadmissible.

"Not you ..." 2D whispered in an almost muted request. He shook his head, still avoiding looking at him. Of all the people in the world, he couldn’t bear to think that Ace had hidden the plan from himself all those days, even seeing the level of his suffering. Why? He could have asked for help ... He could have talked to him, asked for his opinion, knowing pretty well his feelings for Murdoc ... Stuart really thought they were friends, he trusted him ... Even shagged him, looking for some comfort, and now he felt stabbed in the back.

It was better to believe it was Murdoc. It was better to think that it was always the fault of the same person, of who he expected that kind of attitude. From the one who he was already accustomed to forgive and fall back on the same behavior, the same mistakes again ... But Ace? He thought he was different ....

Ace didn’t lie, didn’t deceive, didn’t omit. Or was he lying? He was really too much like Murdoc.

By this time the American, who had already allowed himself to fall on the bed, looked down. His voice continued:

"I thought it was the best not to tell you, because ... Well, because ... I didn’t want you to leave. I thought Murdoc would get the suitcase and you and would get out of here ... And I couldn’t let that happen. "

So easy. So fucking easy should it be for him to speak those words now, treating as if 2D didn’t understand the gravity of situations. As if he should always be the last to know anything because no one would have patience with him being slower. So easy should it be to hide in the excuse of not being a good person, of being jealous, of now supposedly solving everything by finally telling the truth ... But Ace hadn’t told him the truth, at least not until being practically forced to do so. Murdoc hadn’t been the one to lie now, it had been Ace .... To his unpleasant surprise.

Stuart had found that suitcase alone. Stuart had been the last to know about the plan, and now those two, who until recently had run a mutual risk of killing themselves, had apparently become best friends and defined the fate of them all. Including 2D. Without his knowledge or permission. And the other 2? Did they ever think of the rest of the band? Or were they selfish at this point?

"Of all the people in the world, you ..." Stuart whispered, feeling betrayed. When he looked up to face Ace, his whole face was filled with pain, the thick tears no longer being contained. "I trusted you. And you ... You thought only of yourself. "He looked at Murdoc also showing his sorrow to the eldest “And in him ... " He spat the words in disgust ... 2D seemed to prefer it when the two hated each other and were fighting for him ... Why now that they understood each other Stuart couldn’t just be ... happy?

It was true that Ace had been selfish, it was true that he had thought only of himself and the luxury of having those two as prisoners in his apartment, but well ... He had dealt with all trouble to put those documents together for Murdoc to escape, hadn’t he? All that money… The singer couldn’t simply belittle his demeanor even more that it would culminate in saving Murdoc ... By whom he knew so well Stuart had feelings ... Before his Ego came to his head, Ace had thought of Murdoc, he had thought about him! It had to be worth something ... Even normally smiling and remaining impassive and peaceful, he now felt that the singer's reaction was understandable; but he wasn’t at all pleased with it. It was unfair.

He stood up from his bed in a leap, desperate seeing those puffy eyes shedding tears because of him. Even partially annoyed, Ace couldn’t bear to see that beautiful creature crying. Maybe he was really a son-of-a-bitch, as selfish as Murdoc, but he couldn’t stand being looked at like that by Stuart. All he ever wanted was to get close to him, to protect him. Maybe his need to have him close was what fucked up everything after all ...

"Stewie, I ..." he stammered, trying to find the right words. Taken in desperation from guilty filling his veins, he chose the worst possible. "I thought we might have some time and ..." He lied, but he couldn’t even complete his lie.

Behind him, Murdoc squinted. Poor idiot Copular. He didn’t know what was coming, but Murdoc knew; so many times he had tried to fool the singer that way, only to supposedly redeem himself. But this time it wasn’t him that Stuart had to forgive, it was the American, who probably wouldn’t be as lucky as him even 2D being as ... Forgiving as he was. Ace might be clever with words, maybe he had good intentions; but his sensitivity, after all, was the same as a stone.

"Time ?!" 2D repeated in a visibly altered mood. Ace tried to touch him on the shoulder, but he disengaged himself and pushed him, then backed away. "You didn’t try to save time! You didn’t tell me cuz you lied and only thought of you! "

He gasped for a few seconds, the tears still falling from his eyes. He was waiting for a miracle response from Ace, but the truth was that his hopes were in vain. Again he had trusted the wrong person. He couldn’t help but feel guilty ... He and his damn good heart.

"And even now ..." Stuart whispered, still gasping for the bubbling of terrible, icy emotions that gripped his chest. "Even now, you only think of lying to make it look less bad." He narrowed his eyes at him so he wouldn’t shout that he and Murdoc were just the same trash, that he was even worse than the Satanist. Maybe that was a little too much, even wanting to hurt Copular as a revenge of how much he felt betrayed.

For the last time, Copular tried desperately to repair the tragedy that he had caused, but it was already too late. Stuart turned away, still crying alone, and walked to the bedroom window. After a few seconds in silence, he commanded, his voice choking with sobs.

"Leave me. Leave us alone, Ace. "

It was only a request for Ace to leave the room, but the words hurt him so much that it seemed like a request for him to leave Gorillaz, the life of his idols, everything. As if Stuart hated him for what he did, felt he wouldn’t forgive him ... It hurt his wounded pride even more, because Murdoc had done so much worse and Stuart had always forgiven him in the blink of an eye ... It was somehow not fair. Ace had never physically hurt him for example ... And Murdoc had already spanked the singer... Why was 2D different with him? Had he forced his luck too much?

 Even though he was in his own house, he obeyed Stuart because nothing more could be done by now. After accomplished his orders while on Gorillaz for so long, it was like a normal reaction. He gave a long, mournful look at Murdoc, who only stared back at him sternly.

Finally, he left the room thinking of what the two could do while he was gone... He really wasn’t part of Gorillaz, he hadn’t known him for 20 years .... He was the intruder ... Only acting in his selfish way of holding the two in his hands, but it was like sand, the more he gripped his hand the more they escaped between his fingers.

A long silence took over the room, at some point Stuart wrapped his arms around his own self, shaking. He felt so cold and so empty after all that, he couldn’t even think of the escape plan. All he did was think of betrayal: how much he felt inconsiderate, as if his opinion was worthless. And yet he had gone to bed with him ... How could he have been so weak and so blind that he hadn’t seen the obvious in front of him?

"Bluebird ..." Murdoc murmured in a deep voice, and Stuart closed his eyes briefly, letting out a shaky breath, thinking of the yells he would receive for expelling his "best friend" out of the room. To have ruined the plan and the romantic moment of the two. For his insolence of wanting to give orders to the owner of the house ... Someone who was doing them a favor ...

He was sad with Murdoc. So terribly uspet ... Because he knew the plan too, didn’t he? He knew, and he hadn’t told him anything. However, the truth was that listening to the Satanist calling him that way made his heart twist with longing. Even if he was so hurt with it, Stuart still felt like he wanted to be hugged. Why was he so vulnerable when around Murdoc?

"I'm sorry, Bluebird. I also discovered it recently, but Ace ... " _It’s really trying to help us now,_ he would have completed. But he couldn’t, being interrupted by the singer’s voice choking with tears.

"You were having a party here as if nothing was happening, Murdoc. You keep hiding things ... Acting as if my opinion was worthless ... "He snarled in pain, hugging himself even more tightly. Being taken from his position as leader, where he gave the rules and the others just complied, has shaken his emotional and ego more than he would like to admit.

 Soon Murdoc realized that what was hurting Stuart wasn’t the lie itself, it was 2D thinking that he wasn’t important to either of them. He saw in his eyes full of tears how he felt excluded; like Murdoc felt as well once, after leaving Noodle, Russel and not receiving any news from either of them, he and Ace were planning to leave without him ... At least it was what he thought 2D thought… He would never leave him behind. Could never do anything like that.

Murdoc tried to approach him to put his hand on his shoulder when he felt Stuart tensing and recoiling at his touch. Was he afraid?

"And don’t tell me you're sorry or make excuses, Murdoc ... I know your relationship with Ace is a lot more than it seems ..." He looked at him, frowning deeply. "Confess, were you two planning to leave without me? In a new hiatus or whatever? "He gritted his teeth and sniffled, still shaking, unable to control himself with anger and sadness.

Murdoc seemed disturbed by these ideas; even though he knew that Stuart's paranoid mind worked quickly to create the worst possible scenarios, it seemed to be going too far.

"Bluebird ..." he tried to calm him down, again trying to touch him, again being repelled by a defensive hand, which pushed him away. "Stu, that's not it ..."

It was too late. Stuart simply shook his head, still shaking and now moving away. Stubborn as always. He was still babbling words, but now to himself "I should have known better ... I shouldn’t have come ... This couldn’t work out well..."

Murdoc insisted on the touch. This time both hands cupped the singer's face, holding him gently but firm enough to make him look at himself. Stuart looked scary at first, and flinched a little imagining a punch or something worse, but he didn’t react. Slowly he raised his eyes now wet red and puffy to the older man, watching as every inch of that face seemed so concerned with himself.

"We wouldn’t do that ... We wouldn’t leave you ... We could never do something like that Bluebird…" he whispered against his face, then closing his eyes to feel that warm breath against his cheeks. He opened them a little more, just to look at it again as he heard, "We were going to tell you ... We would never make a decision without consulting you ... You’re part of the band…"

Words so sweet that softened his now warm heart. Being touched that way, was enough to make his whole body vibrate again, turning into jelly, feeling a minimum of warmth, a minimum of comfort, a minimum of a sensation that told him he was loved, that told him those two cared about him ... But he was fed up with their lies.

The reason of having fallen into so many lies of Murdoc was always that: Murdoc used to lie to him, to deceive him, and then came with those warm touches ... And then it came with those sweet words ... Like he had taught Ace to do the same with him right? Yeah, just like Ace did to him, and now those two lied and deceived him ... And Stuart fell again in that terrible game, like an idiot ... He couldn’t allow that. Not again, not to 2 people now…

The Satanist was already approaching his lips to seal them in a mute apology, but the pale 2D’s hands spread against his chest, preventing him from approaching. Murdoc was pushed lightly, Stuart shaking his head in a negative tone, as if he was disapproving his behavior. He wouldn’t fall for that stupid game anymore. He was tired of being cheated and left behind.

Without another word, he stepped mutely toward the door, realizing how the heterochromatic eyes now stared at him in despair. Only when he touched the doorknob did he look at Murdoc once last time and gave him one last message, his voice choking with tears. The words hurt even more than the sight of seeing Stuart walking out the door shortly after.

_"I need some time to think, Murdoc ... And don’t you dare following me."_


	9. Thoughts

Murdoc walked out of the room, now certain that Stuart had left the house. He'd probably was gone out for a walk, maybe smoking, or ... Well, he didn’t know. Stuart used to act like this when he was nervous, and apparently this hadn’t changed much in all those years. The pills he always carried along with him were still in Ace's room, which was a good sign. At least he wasn’t drugging himself as a hidden escape from reality.

Seeing Stuart coming out that way made the bassist's heart ache, but he knew the younger one needed some time alone; so he respected his decision. He was then behind his only possible remaining victim in that house: Ace.

The American was definitely hurt by Stuart's scandal earlier, though it had been justifiable. Murdoc felt that he couldn’t leave him alone now ... He didn’t want to be the friend present in good times, but in the bad ones as well. They were all under the same roof, so coexistence would have to be peaceful if they really wanted to survive inside that house.

It wasn’t so difficult to find him: Ace was in his room. Sitting on the bed, he seemed thoughtful. It had been a long time since Murdoc had seen him like this, perhaps since ... They had split up in the past? Well, he hadn’t forgotten that sad face; he couldn’t. He bit his lip at the door, finally calling him.

"Ace ... Stu left, I ... I couldn’t talk to him after he kicked you out. Can I come in? "He asked gently but already lifting the bottle of whiskey to try to convince him silently.

Ace had lost count of how many cigarettes he had smoked. If he hadn’t been so selfish all that time ... If only he had had the chance to tell Stuart how much he was sorry for hiding the history of the suitcase, the passport, the fact of wanting to have his two biggest idols in his house and only for himself ... Now it was done.

He was desolate. The room was a mist of nicotine and tobacco. He felt like a piece of crap, because he knew he'd screwed up. It was all his fault. So absorbed in his thoughts he hardly heard when Murdoc stood at the door and beckoned.

"What?" he murmured, trying to organize his thoughts. "What do you mean ... He… left? How could he have left?" he asked repeatedly, shaking his head in a negative tone, as if he didn’t accept it. He looked up and found the bottle of whiskey in the elder's hands. At least he would have something to drown his sorrows after all. "Sure, Doc ..."

Murdoc quietly entered and leaned against the wardrobe that was near the bed.

"He left ... probably going for a walk, Ace. Just as you found comfort in your cigarettes, he must have gone to the park or whatever. That emotional Dullard ... " He mumbled, frowning. "But you can relax, mate, I know 2D, he won’t go far. And it's me who can’t go out on the street, right? "He laughed bitterly. He took a long swig in the whiskey bottle, then offered it to the other male. Making jokes about his lack of freedom? What a decline.

The only thing he could offer Ace was a shoulder. He wasn’t just a quick fuck; they were friends after all. Murdoc felt obliged to make everything up for them so that coexistence would be at least ... Reasonable. He tried a little more:

"His pills stayed here and he didn’t get the car. Nothing bad will happen. You want to talk? We have some time until he comes back... "

He was now looking affectionately at Ace, really hoping his presence wouldn’t bother him. He really wanted to help him. And… Having the house just for the two of them left him more ... At ease. He only watched as the American finally accepted the bottle and also gave it two long gulps, a grimace forming after the liquid burned his throat. Sitting on the bed, the American leaned his head against the wall sighing.

"It's all my fault, Doc ..." he whispered, closing his eyes briefly. "If I hadn’t done all this shit ... and hidden it for so long of you ... Stuart would still be here with us." He seemed to think for a few seconds, a faint smile forming on his lips. "It's the first time he's really disappointed in me."

Murdoc felt a stab of pain. He hated seeing Ace like that. He stepped forward and threw himself at his side, placing a hand on his shoulder. What could he say? Murdoc always sucked at comforting people, but maybe he could try for an old friend. After all, it was he who drank and drowned his sorrows with alcohol. He wouldn’t let Ace sink into the same shitty situation.

"Look, Ace ... From what I see, Stuart hasn’t changed much these years. I know he'll forgive you. Give the kid time ... He will come back. " It was all really easy for Murdoc, empty promises with common sense ... He had always been forgiven by Stuart, so for him, the singer would forgive Ace in the same easy and almost immediate way.

He thought for a few seconds, wondering if it was time to talk about that topic; He wouldn’t have another chance, would he? And even if he had, Murdoc Niccals didn’t work with anything that wasn’t immediate. "How had he been without me all this time, Ace ...? While I was in jail ... Has anything happened?"

Ace's eyes widened in surprise at the question. He had thought for so long that the Satanist hated to see them together, that this idea had impregnated his head. He looked down thoughtfully.

"Well, he ..." Ace shrugged, for the first time admitting some truths to himself as well. "He was really down in the dumps when I came in. Stuart spent most of his time locked up in his bedroom doing God knows what ... writing some songs, he almost didn’t eat ... He missed you, Doc." He smiled weakly at Murdoc continuing

"So, as the time went by, I've been getting closer him..." His gaze was lost somewhere on the wall, remembering just how fragile and broken Stuart seemed all those months. "He was talking to me often and crying because of you, Doc. I'm sure a lot of the new album he wrote to you. I admit I was a little… jealous of you ..." He stifled a weak, almost humorless laugh. "Stuart really loves you, Doc. He'd changed since you came back. His face, his smile, his behavior... They completely changed. "

It was so difficult to talk about all those personal topics that Ace resorted to the whiskey bottle again. It wasn’t easy to talk about such delicate stuff, and the cigarette itself was no longer working to calm him down. As for Murdoc, he didn’t even seem to understand his last words. It was possible that Stuart had missed him ... Too?

The singer had been acting in the interviews as he didn’t even give 2 shits about his absence. As if he was glad Murdoc was finally gone and he was finally free to create, lead the band and be himself without Murdoc’s influence. However, deep down he had been ... Suffering? Murdoc looked at Ace, looking for any trace of lie in his face, but found none. Stuart hadn’t forgotten him. He wasn’t as happy as he showed everyone in his absence.

He snatched the bottle from the American's hand and took a new, large sip. He was trying to drown the guilt that was already filling his being. Making his Bluebird suffer cuz of a mistake of his. _Again._ So many lies ... "The new album ... For me ...?"

Murdoc had heard some of those songs. They were really sad and passionate, but Stuart had made them for him ... That seemed too much to believe. He bit his lip after a fresh sip of that damned drink, feeling dangerously emotional. The images of Stuart crying because of him mingled to his own in prison thinking about his singer. His chest now hurt like hell. He hadn’t even asked Stuart for forgiveness ... He had just shagged him without even thinking ... Now the Satanist was already squeezing the bottle, nervous.

"I was jealous of you, Ace ... You could be here with him when I couldn’t ..." he whispered, his eyes watering. He would have given everything to be in Ace's place during those months. He didn’t want to admit it, but he missed 2D like hell. "Thank you for taking care of him, Ace..." He finally looked affectionately at the younger male. "After all that you did for him, Ace ... It won’t be what you hid that will make him hate you."

Ace nodded. He wanted to believe that, really wanted to, but it still seemed so difficult.

"You don’t have to thank me, Doc. I didn’t take care of Stuart just because of you. At first, I have to admit that my interest in him wasn’t so ... _Pure_. "He raised his eyebrows, thinking about all the perverted intentions that had dragged him close to the singer at first. "But over time ... I slowly learned how to love him."

His next choice of words, made him curse himself. Where had all that shit come from? The whiskey was definitely making him too emotional. That wasn’t right. Admit to Murdoc that quick that he also had feelings for the singer ... That might have been another of his mistakes. A big one.

He knew that Murdoc had a hard on seeing them together in bed, but now hoping he would understand that Ace also had feelings for the singer ... Maybe he had gone too far. Ace just looked at him out of the corner of his eye, afraid of the possible reaction to come. Would Murdoc think he was blatantly lying? Would he believe him?

The reaction was just a small smile that sprouted on Murdoc's face.

"Love...? Do you love Stuart? "He asked suspiciously." So these are your feelings for him? Wasn’t it just ... y’know shag? "

Murdoc couldn’t tell how he felt. Strangely, he wasn’t jealous or angry at Ace. He just felt that they both shared the same feelings towards the singer, and that maybe that could benefit both of them. It might even make it easier for both of them to ask for forgiveness from 2D ... Yes, he would definitely help Ace with that as well. However, before he could tell, he was squeezing the bottle again in his hands, anxious.

He thought for a second about Ace's feelings for himself, and suddenly he was taking another swig at the whiskey that burned down his throat. Maybe Ace really loved Stuart, right? Maybe to Ace, the quick shag was ... Him. Murdoc. And not the singer. This made his blood run cold and sent shivers up and down his spine. Why?

He heard the voice again.

"Stuart ... He could never be just a quick fuck, Doc. I got too attached to ... Like you call him… Dullard. I really care about ‘D" he laughed bitterly, looking now at the older man. Something was wrong with Murdoc. Ace knew that expression. He knew he was hiding something ... But as much as he wanted to judge him, the truth was this: Ace was also hiding something. Of course he was. However, they had agreed to say it all to each other, right? Be honest… A mature dialogue between two men ... Old friends.

He reached for the cigarette pack again and pulled one up for himself. This time, when he lit it, his hand was shaking a little with nervousness. Maybe he shouldn’t have told Murdoc anything about Stuart at all. No, of course not. But if he wanted Murdoc to be honest with himself, too ... If he really wanted to fix all the shit he'd caused with Stuart ... He would have to.

"Yeah, Doc ... I thought I had my feelings under control." He took a long drag, trying to calm down. His gaze was far from Murdoc's. "Now look at me ... Loving two men at the same time ... I think I'm really fucked, aren’t I?" And he laughed as he always did, trying to pretend that the subject was absolutely natural, trying to get the new information about loving Murdoc too unpretentious in that sentence. An eruption of emotions was within him.

Had Ace said ... Two ... Men?

Murdoc's heart skipped a beat. Again that American got him with the guard down ... He wasn’t prepared for any of that.

"Ace, I ..."He didn’t know what to say or how to react. He set the bottle down. "Who is he...?" He swallowed hard, trying to concentrate. "Who is the other men you love besides Stuart...?"

He waited for the reply silently and teary eyed, not being able to simply believe that it was himself. That voice inside his head yelled it could _never_ be him. He wasn’t worthy of the love of either of those good men. Murdoc was the intruder in all that ... The piece that didn’t fit…. And even now, he was so confused about how he felt ... How to react to any kind of love, if he had never experienced it in all his life ...?

Ace blinked and looked up, finally facing him. It was possible that Murdoc really didn’t know, even after such a direct… answer? He could hardly believe it, but now as he saw the mismatched eyes in front of him, it seemed to him that the man was crying. Murdoc Niccals was ... Breaking? Seeing him that way made Ace's heart warm up in a different way, beating faster.

"You really don’t know, Doc?" He whispered, looking at him from the side, a small smile painted across his green face. He got rid of the cigarette in the ashtray before finally dragging the body now sitting on the bed, approaching him.

"I've missed you so much for over ten years ..." He looked down, hard to see him directly. The side of his leg was leaning against Murdoc's, but as close as it ever was to sexual connotation, that wasn’t what Ace was after. They were side by side, sitting on that bed, and yet he just wanted to ... Be close to him.

The Satanist watched him approaching, and for a moment he flinched. He didn’t know why, but it was instinctive ... He was afraid that Ace would go away again, that it was all a lie… Provoked by alcohol, a hallucination he didn’t want to end…. It had really been more than ten years and that was hard to hear coming from him. His broken tone of voice making clear Ace really suffered missing him. He shivered even more, gripping the bottle as if it were his only supporting pillar there. The American continued:

"I thought you'd never take me back after I had sex with Stuart, too, but you accepted me ... And the second person ... _It's you_."

Murdoc's face twisted in a crying expression. He couldn’t believe he was the second person. He let the bottle go, finally hiding his face with both hands and letting out a brief sigh. He didn’t want to cry, he couldn’t ... But with Ace so close, confessing to him ... It was too much to bear. He felt a mixture of feelings; among them, guilt.

"Shit, Ace ..." he muttered, shaking violently. "All I did to you both was to cause pain, hurt you, I was never any good, fuck!" He said, releasing a gross sob. "I don’t deserve the love of any of you ... I deserved to fucking rot in that prison alone!" Now he was crying freely, curling up against the wall in a corner. "I don’t deserve anything good, Ace .... You deserve someone better than me. You both deserve ...."

His mind, a pit of confusion. He could understand why Stuart loved him, he was never the cleverest or cared about his well being, but now Ace, this was wrong ... And on top of that Murdoc didn’t want to choose between them, being too selfish and wanting to have both for himself ... It was too much to assimilate. He seemed to no longer recognize his own body, his own feelings ... Everything had changed in a matter of days. At last, he allowed himself to weep disconsolately in that corner.

The last trace of consciousness in Ace's mind was turned off as he watched the sight in front of him. Maybe alcohol had left him stupidly emotional, but it didn’t matter anymore. In a rush, he pulled the trembling body, pressing it harder against his own chest, into a desperate embrace. "It's all right, Doc ..." he whispered, lightly caressing the black thick hair he still missed.

He closed his eyes briefly, finally feeling ... Warm. Ever since he'd made that stupid suitcase for Murdoc, since he'd seen him free from jail, since he'd held him that way for the last time, more than ten years ago ... All he'd wanted deep down was that. His recognition, a reason to hug him, or at least not feeling so stupid for having kept his love only for him for so long.

"I respect what you and Stuart have, Doc ... I don’t want to get in the middle of this ..." He lied, nibbling his lips, still with him in his arms. Of course, he lied, because having sex with both Stuart and Murdoc hadn’t alienated him from his real feelings, but only brought him closer to all that emotional turmoil.

"And I won’t let you go back to that fucking hell hole, no matter what you've done wrong past in your life ... It won’t happen ... I just want to fix the shit I did. I just want Stuart's forgiveness so I can extend my time with you guys... "

Murdoc let himself be hugged, but those words struck him somehow. Ace had to be lying, hadn’t he? Murdoc knew that tone, and even after so many years, the American still couldn’t fool him. Maybe he would have smiled in another situation, but now it all hurt too much.

"I don’t want you to 'extend' your time with us." He sniffled, wiping away his own tears angrily. "I want you to stay with us, Ace. Permanently. We can think about you with another role in the band, or go for a hiatus ... I ... I don’t know. But I don’t want to see you going away again!" He said nervously, almost losing his composure as he felt his chest burn in flames only with the possibility of losing him again.

It took Ace a few seconds to understand everything he heard. Continue with them ...? Have another role in the band ...? No need to leave ...? He looked for answers in Murdoc's face, and he understood: he wasn’t lying. There was no trace of fakeness there either, Ace would recognize it ... And judging from the fact that Murdoc was practically having an emotional breakdown right there in front of him, while still fighting against the feelings that insisted on arising ...

Murdoc continued:

"Listen, I'm not the best with feelings, but ... I'm sure staying is what you want, innit? And ... Fix everything .. Christ, I'm sure Stuart also wants you to stay too .. I ... "he shuffled at the words, desperate. He looked into his eyes again. "I don’t want to lose any of you." he murmured with a broken sigh.

He clutched the American's hand desperately and placed it on his chest. He hoped that feeling his heart racing was enough for Ace to understand the way he truly felt. A disbelieving smile formed on Ace's lips as his eyes and hands continued over his chest, his heartbeat racing. Murdoc's voice kept coming to his ears.

"I'm selfish, I want everything for myself. I want you both. I can’t pick just one of you… I'm sorry for everything I've done ... I'm really sorry, just ... Please stay. If you love us both ... I don’t want to choose or make you choose anything. "

"Shit ..." The disbelieving smile widened in the face of the younger male, his own heart also accelerating in follow-up to Murdoc's. "God, Doc ... You really feel for us, don’t you ...?" He didn’t miss a chance to tease him, even if a few tears also popped in the corner of his eyes. He interrupted the touch on Murdoc's chest as he quickly leaned closer to him, sealing his lips to his.

For the first time, it wasn’t a kiss that invited Murdoc to bed. It was just a tongueless chaste kiss, the one that only allowed Murdoc's breath and mouth to taste alcohol against his. The older man's arms instinctively flew to his shoulders, pulling him closer, desperately. He needed the calm that Ace sent to him.

"Help me fix all this, Doc ... Please ..." The American whispered against those lips, avoiding shedding a few contained tears threatening to fall. "Let's fix this shit ... Let's bring Stuart back ..."

An affirmative nod was Murdoc's reply.

"I also need him back ... how about ... Dinner?" He suggested, nibbling his own lips nervously. "It's simple, but he would definitely like it ..."

Ace cleared his throat, trying to get used to that crazy idea. Ace and Murdoc ... Together in a kitchen ... Trying to make a romantic dinner? He laughed loudly, looking away.

"Jesus, Doc ... Is this ... going to work?"

Ace knew to do some tricks in the kitchen, but then to make a romantic dinner ... He heard Murdoc's laughter, waking from his trance, worried for a few seconds.

"Look, in 20 years that I know that hollow head, I never tried to do anything cool to redeem myself from the shit I do. And now that you have to ask for forgiveness too, I think it would be the fucking perfect time to do something nice for him. And honestly ... "Murdoc sniffed as he said it, but kept the smile on his face. "If I wrapped a stone in a red bow and gave it to him, Stuart would be happy ... You know how he is easy pleased."

He paused for a few seconds, absorbed in his own thoughts.

"I think everything Stuart ever wanted ... It was my change of behavior. I want to prove him that I can be better ... Being my best version... And... I owe this to him, for all these ... So many years that he ... He loved me, he forgave me and insisted on myself, even when I had given up on myself already… I never deserved it… And always kept doing shit to him." he whispered at last, feeling his heart throb as he thought of his blue haired angel. He faced Ace again, cupping his face gently with both hands. "So ... Do you want to fix things with him or not?"

The feelings were so mixed and intense within him that Ace could hardly reason anything now. All he knew was that he wanted Stuart's forgiveness more than anything, he needed it.  Feeling Murdoc comforting him now, assured that everything would be all right, he felt almost ... Hopeful.

He wrapped an arm again behind Murdoc's neck, pressing both foreheads against each other. He wanted to get the idea that they were in it together. First of all, they were partners. Above anything, they would always be that.

"Okay, old man ..." He laughed softly, trying to contain the throbbing happiness inside his chest. There was hope for them after all, wasn’t there? "Let's go then. We have an important dinner to plan ... ". He couldn’t believe he was really accepting Murdoc’s crazy idea thinking it would work.

 

-x-

 

Stuart was wandering around town. Since he had descended the floors of Ace's building, he had decided he only wanted to go somewhere where he could cry alone in peace; a place where he could have some moment alone ...

He walked by the old house, looking out the window and wondering if Russel or Noodle would be there. He even considered going upstairs and maybe asking for a lap, a conversation ... He still had the key to their previous house, didn’t he? Nevertheless, he knew he wouldn’t be welcome there after what he had done. He hadn’t even received messages or a calling from them. He felt abandoned, betrayed above all else.

He checked his cell phone looking for possible messages from Murdoc or Ace, but ... Nothing. No messages or missed calls. He should be there spending his time with Ace, fucking or too busy to worry about his disappearance. Stuart really shouldn’t have any importance for them ...

Wandering alone through the streets, he found the City park. Maybe it was a good place to take refuge and think a little without anyone bothering him. He walked over to a tree and sat down under it with a long sigh. His heart was in pieces.

He pulled his legs up to his chest and hugged them, his chin resting on his knees as fresh tears fell from his empty eyes. How could they have done that to him? He had been used as a toy. Mocked, fooled. But as much as he wanted to feel anger, all he felt was sadness. He felt he could have acted differently ... As much as it was just a toy in those green hands he loved so much, he still didn’t want to lose them ...

The singer spent some time there, sniffing and hugging himself, feeling lonely. Something within him still kept telling him to forgive them ... His most benevolent part. Even so, 2D was afraid. The dread of being deceived again, the fear of more lies ... After all, it wasn’t just Murdoc doing it anymore. Ace had apparently learned how to and was doing worse than his 'teacher'. He shook even more embracing himself tightly. How could he have been so naïve again? Two people fooling him instead of just one now.

And yet ... Ace had taken such good care of himself all that time. He had been so patient, understanding, affectionate, friendly, a shoulder for him to cry on, heard his rants... He had so many qualities. The singer couldn’t crucify him for just one mistake, could he? Murdoc had done wrong with him thousands of times before and had always been forgiven ... Would he throw it all away because only of that suitcase? It wasn’t fair ...

He couldn’t tell how long he had been there, but it was already night when he left. It was getting cold and Stuart hadn’t eaten anything all day, he wasn’t wearing a coat; He felt weak and had an incoming migraine from hunger. Again, he looked at his cell phone and found a Noodle’s message, asking if everything was all right. He couldn’t even bring himself to answer her.

Things wasn’t all right, but he couldn’t tell her that. So he decided to go home and make things right; then he would have the courage to answer her. He walked to the building and took the elevator, hoping to find no one in his way back home.

He felt emotionally drained. It hurt that neither of them had sent messages or called him... It was all breaking his heart. They must be together in that house, drinking, smoking, playing their basses like two sons of bitches or fucking ... They didn’t need him ... He arrived at the apartment and finally opened the front door, already afraid of what he would find on the other side of it.

 

-x-

 

If the candles scattered around the house didn’t cause any catastrophe, Ace would have to admit: that had been the most romantic idea they had ever had together. They hadn’t only carefully prepared the menu that evening; not only had they set the circular table with the best silverware in their house, but they had also taken time to light all the more than twenty candles that contributed to the dinner’s romantic mood.

He felt his heart race when he heard that Stuart was coming back home, still the same day or things would be ruined. He was just in time. Arrangements were already in place, Ace was already in his evening suit, and he had to admit to himself that he must have inherited the artistic vein of his idol. He loved to play roles. And tonight he was absolutely in the role of the stupid romantic leading man who he had always had the secret will to be.

"Stewie ..." He called him gently with a smile on his lips opening the front door, the pleasure of seeing that blue-haired man almost making him melt inside because at least the first part of the plan had already worked; Stuart had gone back to that house, hadn’t he? And he had returned in time to be welcomed by a very anxious host.

"Welcome back, I ... I mean, we ... prepared something for you."

Stuart looked up at the green man in front of him, calling him in such a sweet manner... What the hell was happening? He looked around and there were ... Candles? How come? He bit his lip, not understanding the real reason for all that decoration, his slow mind having no idea what "romantic" should mean; but feeling that maybe that was something positive all that.

"Hey, Ace ..." he said shyly trying to hide his puffy red eyes from tears and his face still sad. He furrowed his thick eyebrows, not understanding anything else. "You did?" He looked around a little more and found Murdoc, even more awkwardly, a little behind Ace and with the same smile on his face.

"Oi, Bluebird ..." he said, tiptoeing to try to appear behind the American, taller than him. "Er ... My bad we didn’t send you a message all day, we were busy preparing this here ..." he amended, trying to start the excuses that would be many. He gripped Ace's arm more tightly, clearly nervous. "I hope you're hungry, mate." he laughed softly and nipped at his lips. Stuart looked still so sad ... That sight was killing him.

Ace cleared his throat as he felt Murdoc's hand. He glared at the Satanist, realizing at once that the situation was also in his hands. He looked at Stuart.

"Stewie, we ... We've been talking ..." He started hesitantly, lightly nudging Murdoc discreetly, so that the man would behave to carry on with their plan. "And ... We did wrong with you recently."

He looked down a little thoughtfully. He wanted to pull Stuart by the arm, guide him through that house, put him at the table, and show the surprise with a smile on his face, but he didn’t know how far he was allowed to go. He looked visibly shaken; and this time Ace imagined that just talking would be better than trying any physical approach.

"We made a surprise for you ... To try to start over ..." He paused. Why did he have to be so shitty with words? He looked up at him again, his head still bowed. "We want to apologize, so ... Do you accept ... Dinning with us?"

Stuart still hesitantly took a step inside and looked at the table set, the decoration done, the yummy smell of ... Lasagna? He couldn’t believe they had made their favorite dish for him. His eyes widened and his lower lip quivered.

"Y-you did all this ... F-for me?" he asked incredulously, a trembling finger pointing at the table as he again felt like crying, but now for a totally different reason. A good one. That was so sweet, so unexpected coming from them...

He looked at Ace and Murdoc back. The British had a gentle smile and Ace still looked worried.

"No .... You didn’t have to ... I ..." His eyes filled with tears of joy. Stuart ran and threw himself into their arms in a tight embrace of thanks. Different from the two, he could express his feelings more easily. He couldn’t answer that he wanted to have dinner together, he could hardly thank them. He was so happy ... If they needed any forgiveness from him, they were already forgiven. He was only slightly annoyed that he couldn’t reciprocate such kindness, being too stupid for that.

While Ace was engulfed in that embrace of three people, the same three man that seemed almost kill one another in the past, the smile widened on his lips. He stroked his blue hair without losing the chance to hug Murdoc's waist as well, because after all, they had gotten it together.

"You deserve so much more, Stewie. I really hope ... you can forgive us, "he cleared his throat, trying not to get so emotional, the alcohol in his blood still there, not helping at all. "We need to talk to you about everything that happened, and ... Everything that can happen from now on. But I think we need to eat first ... " He laughed, just before he broke his part of the hug, though he didn’t want to. "After all ... You won’t want to let the old man's lasagna get cold ..."

At last, Stuart broke the embrace, hesitantly looking at them and nodding his head in an affirmative nod. He was still wiping his own tears.

"Yes ... Let's eat. I haven’t eaten anything all day." He smiled shily at both of them, already seeing Murdoc's face of disapproval at the new information. He hated when the singer didn’t eat or cared about himself. Little did he know that he had been that way with himself in the last 8 months that the Satanist was away.

They sat at the table. Neither Ace nor Murdoc seemed to be able to start that conversation. Looks exchanged, and then turned to Stuart. Ace didn’t know how to react. It was the first time he'd shared a room with those two in such a ... peaceful and unrelated sex situation. He felt like he could ruin everything at any moment.

"So, Stewie, I ..." He cleared his throat, not knowing how to begin. What could he say? It was always better to throw the ball for the old man, right? Ace sucked with words, at least he could throw that problem on someone else’s lap. Plus the Satanist knew Stuart for longer than himself. "Murdoc wants to tell you something" he said with his eyes now on the lasagna, as if he didn’t need to apologize to him as well.

Murdoc, who by then was already red with such nervousness, choked on the lasagna when Ace spoke that to him. He grabbed the wine bottle they had bought for the occasion and took long sips to disengage. Stuart laughed a little, finally understanding the level of nervousness that hung there. He looked at him then, tenderly, encouraging him to go forward. Murdoc began:

"I ..." He averted his eyes for a moment, sighing. "I wanted to apologize for lying ... And for making you think that I had died in that fiasco escape through the sewers ..." He muttered, the fork trembling in his hands. "And also for all the shit I've done in these ... Twenty years ..." It seemed even more serious when he put it all on a timeline. He continued: "I want to change. I ... I don’t want to be like I used to be. I know I have to do a lot to make up to you, but ... I want to try…. Even if I have to die trying… "

After all that, Murdoc tried to catch a breath. He looked up nervously at Stuart.

"I swear I will ... if you let me." He finished, finally looking at Ace.

The butterflies were already twisting in the American's stomach by now. It was his turn to apologize. Nervous, he also filled his glass with wine, wishing it was tequila or something definitely stronger. At the end of his sip, he glanced at Stuart.

"Stewie, I ... I'm sorry I didn’t tell you about the plan I had for Murdoc. I'm sorry for not telling you about the suitcase and the passports ... I'm sorry for showing Murdoc everything first ... Your opinion is also important for us and we're only going to go on with the plan if you also agree with it and ... "He frowned, getting tense. Maybe he was pushing it too far. But he had to finish it, didn’t he? Continued:

"I'm sorry... for wanting to have you in here with me a bit longer, for all my selfishness." He cracked a faint smile, looking now at the table. Oh, shit, he was actually looking pathetic, wasn’t he? "I just didn’t want to give up the whole plan and let you guys go. I just didn’t want to say goodbye to Gorillaz. I wasn’t ready for that."

Murdoc instinctively dragged his hand across the table and held Ace's, intending to calm him down. Obviously he wasn’t the only one who had trouble dealing with feelings there. Anyway, two green men were now silent, waiting for the singer's reaction.

"Muds ... Ace ..." he whispered, drawing their attention. "I ... I wanted to apologize for my overreaction too. I just ... "He looked down nervously. "Needed some time for myself ... To calm me down, you know? ... But I guess I should have stayed here. My place is here ... with you both. The time alone only showed me this.” he added with a sweet smile. He was looking at both of them now, because it was no shame to show the way he felt.

"I'm going to need some time still, but ... I'll eventually forgive you both. Muds ..." Murdoc turned to him, his expression as understanding as it could be. "I didn’t want to come to this apartment to confront you ... I really want to help you get out of this ..." He explained briefly his past actions.

"And Ace ..." He looked at the American, whose heart was probably already in his throat by then. "I don’t want you to leave Gorillaz, I guess Murdoc doesn’t want you to leave either. I agree to use the suitcase. Just ... Let me know things before, okay? I need to know that my opinion matters, because well ... I really like you two. It wasn’t just sex ... And it never was ... "

Finally, it was Stuart's turn to buckle his head and nibble on his lips, feeling his face burning. He feared being ridiculed by those two men, of whom he only wanted acceptance.

Ace’s hand was held by Murdoc, and now the remaining hand flew over the table to reach Stuart's. He tightened it inside his. His heart was beating so uncontrollably fast he could feel it in his throat. Few things in the world made him as bewildered as the sight of that man declaring himself.

"Stewie, you and Murdoc ..." He then looked at Murdoc, getting a look back. "You are much more than idols to me. I've loved you since my teenage years, "he paused, realizing quickly he was already talking too much ... Again. He cleared his throat, because there was no turning back now. He needed to finish what he had started. "Knowing you guys don’t want to get me out of Gorillaz ... That's all I could ever have asked for."

Murdoc bit his lip to suppress a giggle. He couldn’t believe Ace was declaring himself so openly in front of him. Still, seeing that Ace's other hand held Stuart's hand no longer made him jealous. It only made him strangely happy to see that 2D wasn’t only loved by himself but also by that American. Stuart needed all the love he could get… His blue haired angel.

"Er ... We can sort this out. I just need the police to get out of my way or to prove my innocence and that's it, Murdoc Niccals will be who he was again babey! "He laughed, breaking the ice and low mood in that room.

Ace laughed and rolled his eyes, shaking his head negatively at Murdoc when he heard that he would be the same if the police stopped chasing him.

"I think they'd better chase after you for a while then, Doc ..." He joked, kicking him under the table.

Stuart laughed as the good mood was restored inside the room. Even so, he bit his lips; He knew pretty well how well-planned the escape plan would have to be so no flaw would happen.

"So ... are we going to go on hiatus? What do you plan to say to others? "He asked hesitantly, referring to Noodle and Russel.

Murdoc had no idea, but the idea of hiatus lit a wonderful light in his mind after grunting in pain from Ace's kick.

"I wouldn’t object. After all ... After my lovely stay in prison, all I didn’t want was ... More work." he laughed grimacing, looking at both of them. "We could take a vacation, for some months how does that sound? ..."

Vacation, yes ... Hiatus, yes ... All those possibilities made Ace anxious, licking his suddenly dry lips. He looked from Murdoc to Stuart, because he knew that his opinion there wouldn’t weigh as much as the one of those two, but apparently, he didn’t need it. Those were the best possible circumstances.

"A hiatus, yes ... And we can invite Russel and Noodle for our holidays ..." he suggested, just looking at the liquid inside his own wineglass, swaying it lightly. "While you think about Ace's situation in the band ..." He disguised himself, casting a sideways glance at Murdoc, referring to himself in the third person, just as the old man used to do when he also wanted to ask for something indirectly.

Stuart smiled, immediately realizing what Ace wanted, and glanced sideways at Murdoc, who for him was still the owner of the band and who gave the final word. "Yeah Muds, we have to decide Ace's situation in the band ..." He looked back at the American with a suspicious look.

"Are you sure you want to call them both for our holidays, Ace?" Murdoc raised his eyebrows, chuckling. "I didn’t think you'd want to call cock-blocks to be along with us ..." He said without blinking, taking a sip of his wine and realizing how red Stuart was while choking on his own wine after his words. Their dynamics had changed ... They were not just band mates after all they had admitted and done, right? They could no longer be ...

Ace's eyes widened, and he didn’t even choke, resorting to his own wine and taking some long sips. He put the glass back on the table and looked up at Murdoc, who continued to speak as if nothing had happened:

"I think our break time should be just the three of us disappearing without a trace for a while, what do you think? If all goes well, you stay in the band when we get back from our ... "Pause" He smiled wickedly at the American while Stuart still tried to stop coughing, purple like color of wine, still choking

Ace cleared his throat, still in absolute shock. Was that son of a bitch trying to kill them? He glanced at Stuart, who had just recovered and seemed to understand nothing - or pretend it wasn’t up to him. Ace tried to respond as best he could.

"I ... I ..." He widened his collar a little, trying to recover that posture from who knows what he is doing. He tried to fill his own glass once more, but he wasn’t even successful in it, because the wine ended before even half of it. He returned the bottle to the table, cursing himself. "Well ... I guess we ... We don’t need to ... The cock-blockers along. We will be fine just us ... Three, "he concluded with a shrug, trying to sound as natural as possible.

But it wasn’t natural, of course not. He wasn’t there, he barely smelled the burnt smell of his damn chocolate cake that he had returned to the oven in order to keep warm.

Stuart was going to nod his head, but something stopped him. He saw smoke coming from the kitchen and his empty eyes widened as he pointed at it.

"Ace, I was going to agree with Muds, but ... Is there something burning?" He asked innocently as always, attention to the subject of conversation completely lost.

Murdoc looked at the smoke and Ace, rolling his eyes in his sockets.

"Your cake .... Asshole." He said bluntly, already knowing what it was about. Instead of just helping him, he kept eating and laughing like a tremendous son of a bitch he was "I think our dessert is lost, mate..."

 "Shit!"

Ace flew toward the kitchen, noticing the size of the damage already done. He took the cake out of the oven, an amorphous mass with chocolate syrup that now seemed more covered with ... Oil ... or worse. Perhaps it would have been better to hide it, but there was no way; Stuart was already waiting for a dessert. He saw the smoke, smelled it… It was terrible to think of that, but if the singer was depending on this to forgive Ace, well ... The American would be fucked. He should have mentioned that his only specialty in the kitchen was the bloody pancakes.

Surely he would have earned more if he had covered himself with chocolate than that catastrophe he had in his hands. He went back to the dinner table again. He would have to listen to Murdoc's damn laughter for the rest of his life, for sure; but there was no escape. Their first romantic dinner totally ruined cuz of a burned mess. Ace just put the cake on the table, giving Stuart an apologetic look.

Murdoc laughed even more when he saw the damage.

"Sweet Satan, you can be even worse than Stuart in the kitchen!" he said scornfully as the singer glared at him.

 Stuart gently turned to the American and took his gloved hands in his own "I ... I really appreciated the dinner, Ace," he said with the sweetest smile he could make. "I don’t mind the fact that the cake burned, it happens. I already blew the microwave once I put an egg inside it..."

Murdoc nipped his lip to keep himself from laughing, remembering the occasion. Noodle almost freaked out when she had to buy a new microwave.

" It’s the thought that counts..." Stuart continued softly, moving closer and kissing the American's lips as if to apologize. At last, he put his arms around his shoulders, since they were almost the same height. Ace could hardly believe it when he was wrapped in the embrace while Murdoc watched it all petrified.

Ace wrapped his arms around the singer's waist, pulling him closer. Murdoc now had a sad look on the cake, only wishing a little attention to himself, but too afraid to ask for it. He felt a failure he couldn’t even speak openly about what he felt about them ...

The American awoke from the trance of his affectionate embrace as his eyes fell upon Murdoc. The deplorable image of that man stirring his own lasagna stirred himself.

Old git ... He couldn’t leave him out, but not openly invite him to that. If he knew Murdoc well, hugs sometimes had to be forced. Could he fool him just to get him to come? Maybe if he would get him closer to the cupboard that was right behind him ... Yes, maybe it could work…

"Hey, Doc ... There's another bottle of wine back here ... Mind taking it out of us?" He grinned wickedly, still not breaking his embrace.

Murdoc looked up sheepishly. Without a word, he went to the cupboard to get the wine. Maybe if he drank a little more, he could take it all more easily. Stuart snuggled into the embrace of the other purring happily, totally dispersed now from what Murdoc was doing. For him it was one thing at a time, his head was too slow to process everything.

Murdoc finally reached the cupboard’s door and sighed again, feeling pathetic. His chest ached in his lack of ability to say what he felt or what he wanted. But something happened.

Ace smothered a wicked laugh as he caught sight of Murdoc right behind him in the danger zone; now that he had achieved the most difficult, it was only a matter of speed. He kept one of the arms wrapped around the singer's waist, but with the other he flew toward the older man, grabbing him and pulling him into what was now a three-people embrace.

"Where do you think you're going, old man?" He laughed, pleased with himself for keeping each of them in each of his arms. "You can’t be left out..."

Murdoc was surprised before he could get the bottle out of the cupboard. He didn’t think it was a trap, the size of the swirl of emotions within him. Stuart just smiled and hugged them both with his long, slender arms, chuckling thinking how the Satanist should be feeling now.

 Murdoc sighed heavily and grabbed the two as if his life depended on it. He trembled slightly, afraid that moment would end, he never imagined that he might one day be embraced by the two creatures she loved most on Earth. No jealousy, no anger, no fights.

He closed his eyes tightly and buried his face in the American's chest, murmuring a thank you. Stuart smiled again and just stroked the Satanist's hair muttering a "Don’t mention it, Muds...".

Listening to Murdoc's murmur widened Ace's smile, but in fact the smile concealed moist eyes from all the emotions that he was feeling at the moment. More than having those two idols at home was to have them right there in his arms. He didn’t know the end would have the suitcase, or the escape plan, or his damn chocolate cake, but for now, it didn’t matter.

"It's all right, Doc ..." He whispered back, holding firmly the two bodies he held against his body.

Just for that brief moment the future didn’t matter, and he couldn’t tell if he held them for five minutes or an hour, because all he wanted was to not have to let them go. All he wanted was to stay there, feeling the breaths and heartbeats of the two people he loved most against his body, in the simple assurance that no matter what, the three would remain like this ... _Together._


	10. From Father to Daughter

Noodle had been waiting for that moment for days on end; but now that it came, she just didn't know how to react. Part of her already knew that sooner or later Stuart would appear in that house. Part of her knew that he hadn’t only been with Murdoc during those days, but that those two had probably been planning something together ... and without her knowledge.

They couldn't go that far, could they? At least not until that day.

Very early, Stuart had returned to Gorillaz HQ. That day, after a tight hug and acting as if they were just talking about the weather, he had told of an alleged escape plan involving Ace, fake passports, cash and ... Noodle didn't know anything about it. Her brain simply stopped absorbing some information when Stuart’s explanation also stopped making sense.

The information she was sure of, was this: Murdoc had been released from jail, but hadn’t even come to visit her, days going by; and along with Ace and Stuart, he had planned an escape plan from the Country; and a plan that didn't involve her. Noodle being the last one to know.

She heard the conversation as if she had accepted it, Stuart and Ace right in front of her. There was no reaction at all. For as long as Stuart had told her about their last day's experiences, she remained silent. Her eyes, which for days on end had carried tears of hurt, were now expressionless, dead.

Those three idiots ... Those damned three morons!

Now, locked again in her own room, she sobbed as soft tears fell from her face. Was it possible they thought she would let Murdoc go without seeing him? Without even saying goodbye to her own _father_? She was tired of hearing that everything was done for her own "safety". She couldn't understand why not knowing Murdoc's whereabouts meant being safe for them. She was a grown up woman for fuck’s sake.

She hadn’t asked for that security. Never. But that was her life they were talking about, right? She had to work things out on her own, always alone. Insistently trying to prove to them that she didn't need to be protected by anyone. She was, in fact, the most conscious and mature of all five. Therefore, she acted according to what circumstances required: Alone.

 

 

-x-

 

 

While Russel accepted the hiatus and came back into his own room seeming happy for Murdoc's escape and the vacation he had earned, Noodle decided to act. Stuart had left a bunch of keys on the kitchen table and now he was in his own room too, seeming to pack clothes - or something - to his future suitcase. Sneaking down the hall, Noodle came to the kitchen. She reached for the keys, knowing that one of those had to be from Ace's house.

It had to be. After all, in the letter Stuart had left under their door - days ago - he had said they were going "to a safe place and not too far away." Judging by the fact that Ace had also been missing and was now in his apartment while Stuart packed things ... Well, it didn't need to be a genius to conclude that Murdoc was a refugee at the new bassist's house. Nor did was hard to conclude that one of those keys had to be from Ace's house.

After a silent theft, Noodle left the house, the bunch of keys in her pocket. She had visited Ace countless times; It wasn’t difficult to get to his apartment. Already in the sixth-floor hallway she could hear Murdoc's bass echoing; She would recognize his bass playing miles away. Tears coming back to her eyes, she stuck the key in the lock and entered the apartment.

There seemed to be no one but the bass that echoed from some room in the back. So after entering and closing the door behind her, Noodle walked silently into that room. She jerked open the door, unable to believe what her eyes saw as they fell upon his broken image of his father.

Murdoc was sitting on the floor, his clothes too big to be his own, his bass plugged into an open notebook as he strummed nonchalantly. Just seeing him made Noodle understand: She couldn’t bear the pain from the thought of losing her father again. A sob escaped her tight lips, unable to say anything. Narrowed eyes darted frantically over Murdoc's image, almost as if she didn't believe he was right there in front of her. Flesh and blood.

Murdoc had been sitting for a while. Since he couldn't show his face outside, Ace's bass had seemed a nice distraction, and there he remained for hours, focused on playing it. But not anymore. Startled by the jolt of the door opening. He looked up, prepared to swear at Stuart or Ace, but his blood ran cold as his eyes fell on another figure. In front of him was someone shorter and more feminine than any of those big guys.

"Noo ... dle?" He asked in a low tone, feeling the stab in his chest to see his girl choking on tears. He was sober. Painfully sober. His vision was quick to focus and process what was happening. "W-what are you doing here?" He asked, already gripping the bass tightly with trembling hands.

How many times had him seen Noodle cry? So few he could remember. Maybe when she was just a child ... Yes. His girl _never_ cried, not even when she was really in pain… But that was what she was doing now. Fuck, he fucked everything up once again.

Noodle sobbed, shaking her head. Gross sobs escaped her lips as she stepped into the room, not even bothering to wipe away the tears that ran down her cheeks freely wetting her shirt.

"How could you ...?" She whispered. Her intention might be to ask, "How could you not come to visit us?", "How could you plan all this without letting us know?", "How could you decide to leave without saying goodbye?".

“How could you?!” she repeated louder, clenching her fists and teeth, anger mixed with pain and resentment. The idea of losing Murdoc consuming her.

Murdoc froze in his own position. Maybe he'd made the point of assuming how he felt for Ace or Stuart, but for her ... His mind was blank. He moistened his lips and closed the notebook with those trembling hands, setting it aside. All he wanted now was to have something strong, alcoholic enough to quench his thirst and despair now.

"Noodle, I ..." He tried to start talking.

"You ..." The girl shivered, lifting a finger towards him, whispering as threatening as she could. "You didn't even come to see me ... You planned to leave ... You wouldn't even ... Say goodbye!" She shouted her last words, her fists clenching again, even hurting her palms so hard she was doing that.

 "You..." She interrupted herself, looking down now to face the floor.

"You don't care about anyone but yourself ... You selfish prick! You didn't even miss me!..."

"No!" He answered immediately, almost without thinking. He sprang to his feet, containing the urge to hold her seeing Noodle breakdown. He swallowed, still shaking. "I ... I was going to ... But ..." He bit his lip nervously. What he was doing? Was he about to lie again?

Noodle was right, that's what he would have done. He would be gone without looking back, without arguments, without broken promises, without hard feelings. But now that he saw her that way, the pain screaming into her eyes ... Well, he understood that he was doing everything wrong ... _Again._

"I was just leaving ... not saying anything ..." He whispered, also lowering his own eyes to the floor. "Because I thought it was the best for everyone ... I don't want to ... Cause any trouble, Noodle ... Enough for those twenty years ..." A sigh left his lips, his eyes closing for a minute. “I've done too much. Hurt too much, fucked up too much… I thought not saying goodbye would be the best for you ... For us.”

The girl listened to his words, feeling her body trembling inside and out. She closed her eyes for just a second, trying to absorb that mound of information while still shaking her head. She couldn’t accept. Wouldn’t. She couldn’t accept that they had done all this without her. And now Murdoc was still rambling all that bullshit about doing what was best for everyone ...

"D-Don't fucking tell me ... Don't you fucking dare tell me what's best for me!" She shouted, approaching a few steps intent on pushing him, but failing miserably.

As soon as she got close to the man she considered her father figure, her forces were drained. She had missed him so much it hurt ... She had wanted so badly to see him well, safe and get him out of that jail ...

"You don't know what's best for me ..." she whispered, giving small weak punches to his chest. Unable to hurt him, unable to push him, unable to do anything but whine in front of him. She was a grown up woman that knew what was best for her… She always knew and didn’t need anyone feeling sorry for her. If there was something Noodle learned in those years living with Gorillaz was that no one had the right to feel sorry for her or treat her like she was weak. Never. Not even her family.

Murdoc wished those had been real punches, but they weren't. He wished that physical pain could numb him, relieve him from the pain he felt inside, but those fists ... Those fists didn't hurt. She didn't want to hurt him even if he deserved. They were just… tickling him. His girl was breaking in front of him, her whispers still reaching his ears, a painfully and full of sorrow voice…

"I missed you so much..."

His throat went dry. He gripped those fists as gently as he could, hands still shaking in the process.

“Me too… I missed you babygirl…” And the rest of the sentence almost didn't come out, his rough voice barely making it anyhow. "I’m so sorry..."

The situation was very clear in Murdoc’s mind: he didn’t deserve any forgiveness. What stood before him was the same little girl who used to cry over a ripped knee, a nightmare, fear of the dark ... But now, it was Murdoc that caused those tears. It was all his fault.

His body shook violently, desperate for any comfort whatsoever. He hid his face in his forearm, the sleeves of Ace's loose clothing brushing over his face. He didn't deserve her forgiveness, just as he didn't deserve Ace or Stuart's help. He deserved nothing but a dark, cold cage distant from all the people who had ever cared about him in his life ... He deserved spend the rest of his days a lonely life, after losing everyone and everything he ever had. But he didn’t receive a dark cage, not this time.

Suddenly he felt thin arms around his neck. He opened his glassy eyes, now realizing that she was still right there, now tiptoeing, hugging him. That was really ... a tight embrace.

"I missed you so much ..." He voice whispered, tightening her grip around his neck. But wasn't Murdoc just a liar ...? Who wanted all the attention turned to him, just acted thinking of himself? Being selfish? Why was she hugging him? Nothing made sense.

All he could do was wrap his trembling arms around her waist, hugging her back.

"I missed you too ..." he murmured, unable to contain the rest of the words: "I'm sorry my... _Daughter._ "

Tears were already incessantly leaving his heterochromatic eyes. The truth was, for Murdoc, she would never stop being his kid. And he knew he might not deserve it, but he just wanted to know if she still considered him ... if it was still possible to consider him a father. The word Murdoc always loathed all his life.

 Even now, he tangled his green fingers in her hair, caressing it, feeling how they were still as soft as when she was just a little girl. Her sobs suddenly stopped because the answer came like a bullet in his chest.

_"You will ... always be ... My Dad."_

A last sob escaped her lips as she pulled away, only to look at him in the eye. When Noodle looked at him that way, she seemed to be able to see beyond his armor; She could see ... _his soul._ Now her drawn eyes darted over his face, as if she was analyzing him, as the man's brain, which didn’t decode such deep emotions, still tried to process the sentence she had just said. “You will always be my Dad”, that's what she had said.

"How are you?" Noodle then whispered, caressing that face that looked so exhausted. "After everything you went through ..."

Noodle had become a beautiful, strong, independent woman. He thought she might be disgusted or repulsed by the green skin that had been aging from years of cigarette and alcohol, but she looked… happy? Concerned about his wellbeing? Sensations overlapped inside Murdoc, and he no longer knew how to act.

He swallowed, still stroking her soft hair, even if there was no hug anymore. He would rather look at her hair than have to look her in the eye while feeling such deep things. Being called Dad again had really touched Murdoc’s feelings deeply. He nibbled his own lips and tried to wipe away what was left of the tears with the back of his hand.

"Knackered ..." he whispered, as honest as he could. "And confused ..." He laughed bitterly.

Noodle frowned after hearing his words, nodding a little. Her eyes darted over Murdoc's face, trying to identify what feeling he was trying to hide there. Because, of course... Murdoc hadn't told her about Ace or Stuart yet. He didn't know what she would think of it, didn't know how she would react… Her body soon shuddered again, with fear, with nervousness.

“You mean confused… with the plan? The plan that Stuart told me today ...? About you guys running away…? ”She suggested, looking him a little sideways, unsure where that conversation would go to.

"No ... About that ... It's already decided ..." He nibbled his lips once again, eyes fixed only on her hair. Only her hair… Noodle’s hair ... But only her hair wasn’t enough to calm him down anymore.

He needed to tell her. He had to do it differently than he had always done, he had to open himself up and take it from him, face her reaction, whatever it was. But he was so fucking scared… No, Murdoc wouldn’t hide or lie anymore.

"Noodle ..." He muttered seriously, his muscles completely tense. "We... We aren’t friends anymore ... I-I mean, just band mates ... Me and those two ... We’re something else…" He added, feeling himself blush violently. His face was a plate that was on fire now. However, Noodle was no longer a child, right? He should understand with just a few words what he meant ... "I ... I just couldnt't tell them how I feel ..." He whispered shyly, eyes watering again from despair of being so honest all of a sudden.

Oh, shit ... He was trying to get advice from her. That was what he was trying to do.

Out of the corner of his eye, Noodle observed her father. Her eyes, wide, were toward him. Of course, his girl had understood; She was a woman for a long time now. Not that naïve or innocent. Murdoc's hands had trembled again, and he no longer knew whether it was from fear of seeing her reaction or for the mere fear of exposing his feelings. He didn't know how to do that. What made he think Noodle knew? She was never in a relationship before right?

Noodle opened and closed her mouth a few times, seeming unable to say anything. She obviously knew that Murdoc and Stuart had had things before, but Ace now ... And the three ... Together ...? Just a regular couple was already difficult for them.

"You mean ...?" She put a hand over her mouth, finally understanding. A short laugh crossed her lips, her eyes rising to his, now amused. Was that why they were planning to escape only the three of them together? Not letting anyone kno? "Now ... it all makes sense ..." she whispered, looking at him with a gentle smile.

She didn’t move away. Her hand returned to Murdoc’s green face, only to wipe away a tear trail that was still there. Murdoc was in love with two people; and he was afraid of losing them just because he couldn't express how he felt. That was what happened and Noodle didn’t take long to understand that what the other two felt was obviously reciprocal.

"It's alright ..." she murmured as she caressed his green face. "I'm sure they know how you feel ... we all know ..."

Murdoc was shaking with anger at himself because he didn't understand. If it was obvious to everyone why he couldn’t bring himself to say what he felt out loud? He was pathetic. Able to create a band, build a cyborg, buy an island, escape from prison… couldn’t tell his feelings to his significant ones. He sniffed once more, shaking his head.

"I don't want to ... be like that!" He growled, leaning for from her touch but immediately realizing what he had done. All he could do was give in, hide from what he felt, deny, ruin everything he touched. Now Murdoc no longer wanted to be the disaster he had always been. Maybe he shouldn't even touch her anymore.

Now, as his eyes were lost somewhere on the floor, the words came out of his mouth alone, whispered. "I want to be different ... To be good to them ... Tell them how I feel ... Say I don't deserve ... Any of the love they give me ... Say ..." He stopped for a second, blinking. He gripped his own T-shirt over his heart, as it was the only support he could find. "That they are ... The best thing that had ever happened to me."

Noodle widened her eyes once again in disbelief to his confession. She felt the urge to back off and see if it was really Murdoc who was there, but she couldn't even do it. A smile was trying to form on her lips, because it couldn't be ... could it?

Murdoc's face was now a mixture of sadness and resignation, as if he had agreed to lose a battle. The bleak expression was because he felt like a loser. Loving like that was losing. And while still holding his own wide T-shirt like a foundation, his face looked tired. Tears were contained in the heterochromatic eyes.

"I want to tell them that I love them." he whispered wearily as saying those words out loud was capable of drain him.

He had the urge to hide his face in his forearm again, but stopped midway. His forces had been drained, he just trembled in the battle against himself, he was forced to. He had to, because it was part of being a better person. Changing. And it wasn’t easy, it was painful. Even if he didn't know if what he was doing was a statement or a martyrdom he imposed on himself, he had to go on. He had to go all the way.

With his head still down, he looked up at her. The expression on Noodle's face was incredulity; almost ... fear. She had never seen him this way, being that sincere or even close to it; not even when he drank. Either way, Murdoc grabbed her by her shoulders, as if grasping his last chance for happiness.

"Daughter ... I ... Love ... You ... Too." His lips trembled, almost stuttering the words, as did the hands that now held the girl's shoulders. "You are ... My family ... You’re all I have."

A silence took over the place. At last Murdoc's hands drifted from her shoulders, as well as his eyes darted to the ground, desperately searching for some air. But air wasn’t found; For the next instant, the girl threw herself into his arms in a new hug, Murdoc almost unable to support the weight on his already wobbly legs and drained body.

"I love you too ... I love you so much, Dad ..." She whispered with her eyes closed, resting her head on the man's shoulders. Tears swept her cheeks again, but she no longer controlled them; they weren’t the sad tears that had brought her there. Noodle was so relieved Murdoc was able to really let his feelings out. She was proud of him.

Was it possible that prison had changed him that much? No. That wasn’t the result of jail ... Not only it at least.

"You can make them happy ... I know you can." she murmured, tightening her grip around his shoulders, her fingers closing gently over his dark hair. "You were always able to do that ... You know that…."

Noodle couldn't remember the last time she'd just hugged him in silence -  not for that amount of time at least - maybe that was the first. But the truth was, it didn't matter anymore. They shared that silent moment while still feeling Murdoc trembling in her arms, the ever-unreachable figure now so vulnerable. So fragile ... So hurt. That same figure murmured repeated "Thank you" in her arms, his voice barely audible.

When the tremor in her father's body finally subsided, Noodle pulled back a little to face him. Both had already understood: this was a farewell. Stuart, Ace, and Murdoc would go to America the next day, on an unpredictable and dangerous escape, and well ... That was the final moment she would have with him. Murdoc stared at her as if numbed by the amount of feelings that had taken over the last few minutes. So, and seeing that tired expression, Noodle grinned.

"Please take care. Do what Stuart asks you to… Don't fight with Ace… Don't get drunk all the time… ”She stifled a laugh, looking at him fondly. However, it wasn't long before the smile left her lips and she gained a serious expression. "In the meantime, I'll do everything ..." She looked down, holding his hands in her own. "Everything I can to prove your innocence."

Finally, the smile finally came to Murdoc's lips. The fact that she was saying goodbye now was proof that she had accepted their choice. And though he thought he didn't deserve it, he nodded. His eyes were red, exhausted, but the expression was one of happiness. Genuine happiness.

"Leave it to me, Noodle ..." he murmured, holding those tiny hands tightly in his own old and calloused. The small tears formed in his eyes for the last time when he whispered

 "Thank you ... Daughter."

 

-x-

 

Ace had had a really stressful day. They were on the eve of their trip — or escape — to America, his homeland, and though he'd insisted a million times that Stuart pack a small, discreet suitcase, that creature seemed determined to take it far beyond what was needed for his own survival.

"It's just until we get there ... It doesn't have to be so much D’ ..." He had repeated to his own exhaustion, failing miserably in the task of convincing the singer.

Stuart seemed shaken after the conversation with Noodle and Russell. He had said goodbye to them in a deeply emotional way, as if he would never meet them again in his life.

Ace was trying to swallow the fact that maybe packing a big suitcase might help make him feel safe, but now ... Well, now he was the unfortunate man who helped that singer drag the four suitcases into the apartment - three big suitcases for Stuart, A big suitcase for Murdoc.

When finally arrived, they were panting. Dumped everything they had carried around the block at the front door. Ace walked over to the couch and threw himself there just as he arrived, not even realizing how quiet that house was. He thought Murdoc would spend the afternoon playing his bass, but well ... Something seemed to have changed.

"Where did that old man get in now ...?" He muttered to himself, glancing at Stuart as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it. He was too tired to look for him, too tired even to take off his own shoes before lying on that comfy couch.

Stuart blinked, looking around. Where was Murdoc? He looked in the kitchen, went to the guest room, but all he could find was a bass and a notebook, both abandoned. Finally, only when he returned to the living room and noticed a silhouette on the balcony did he finally understand where the bassist had gotten himself. The curtain covered the window and made it difficult to see inside.

"Ah ... There he is." he muttered, pointing to the balcony. "I'll ... Finish packing, Ace, so .. Why don't you go say hi to Muds?" He suggested gently, trying to hide his tiredness from carrying so many bags. Stuart was remorseful for his conversation with Russell and Noodle, as well as his serious worries about the next day's escape; so it was better to let these two get along first before he entered in.

As soon as 2D left the room Ace would raise his head and glance at the balcony, a heavy sigh leaving his lips. Something was strange there. Murdoc so silent, so reclusive, hidden in that balcony ... He was certain that something had happened.

He stood with the cigarette in his hands, giving generous puffs as he approached the balcony. However, when he put his feet outside he widened his eyes in surprise, his hands almost dropping the cigarette he was holding

Leaning on the balcony with a single cigarette for company, hair tousled in the cold wind, sobs escaping his lips, there was Murdoc. Due to his body bending over the balcony’s railing, Ace could barely see the tears falling from his face, but he didn't need to see. His soft noises, the shaking of his body, the lone cigarette ... He had already understood what was happening there.

"D ... Doc?" He frowned, entering the balcony and looking for some signal of booze, not finding any.

Murdoc closed his eyes, because he couldn't hide much longer. He had heard the noises inside the house, knew that they would come back at any moment, but now that the time came ... It was so hard to handle. Much harder than he thought it would be. A lump was in his throat, but seeing Ace approach wasn’t helping his sobs; It was causing the tears to multiply ... Even more. Even Murdoc trying hard to hide it.

Even if deep down he might have wished that, it no longer seemed to make sense to hide those tears. So what he did was open a forced smile and straight his back a little, allowing the American to see him, even though Murdoc didn't face him. His eyes were down on the street.

"Oi, Ace ..." He whispered, wiping the tears on his face with the back of his hands. "Already home, mate ...?" He sniffled again, trying to recompose himself. "I thought you lads would take a little longer ..." He finished, deeply dragging the cigarette he was holding. His hands were visibly shaking with nervousness.

Ace froze in his position, not knowing how to react. Goddamn it ... It wasn't possible. Never in his whole life had he seen that old man shed tears like that, never seen him sniff and sob like that. He wasn’t smelling like alcohol… Something huge must have happened. His first thought was to come closer quickly running, but he held his own legs to go on. Instead, he chose slower, controlled steps to approach that broken man.

He walked over to where he was and also leaned against the railing, eyes equally focused on the street as he didn’t notice Murdoc was crying, trying to act normal. He wasn't the best in comforting in the world, much less a genius with words, but seeing him that way made his legs wobble. He avoided looking at him so as not to increase Murdoc's embarrassment, even if he really wanted to pull him to himself and embrace the Satanist.

"So ..." He started, absolutely awkward trying hard not to ask anything stupid like ‘Are you crying?’. He clung to his cigarette, taking a long drag and looking at it sideways before asking as plainly as possible. "Rough night...?"

Not this time. Murdoc couldn’t contain a laugh at that stupid question. Sweet Satan, Ace wasn’t the best but… That was funny ...

"You've always been terrible with words, Acey ..." He smiled, patting his back friendly. He thought for a few seconds, looking away again to the street and let out a short shaking breath. "But you’re right ... Fucking difficult night ..."

He nipped his lips, wondering whether or not to open himself with Ace. But perhaps it wasn’t his choice to make anymore; the tears themselves had already told the American something was wrong, no?

"Noodle ... She’d been here." he said all at once, tossing the cigarrete. “We talked… Needless to say it wasn't that easy. And she ... called me her Dad, Ace. I thought this would never happen again… ” He chuckled bitterly.

Ace widened his eyes, but then nodded in agreement. Dear God, Murdoc Niccals was really crying cuz of something he heard; and even if Ace wasn't a genius with words, he could at least hear him talking, right? He just dragged his cigarette while Murdoc continued rambling.

"She came in crying ... She never cries, Ace ..." He frowned, watching the darkness of the street below. "She told me she accepted my decision to travel with you both ... Said she missed me ... And that she would do whatever she could to prove my innocence ..." His voice was becoming a whisper as Murdoc was feeling the increasingly cold wind around him. He cringed, almost hugging himself.

At that moment, a blue-haired head poked into the balcony, too curious to just be left out. Unnoticed by both men, Stuart just watched as Ace now dispensed his cigarette on the street and pulled Murdoc into a side hug, saying:

"Hey, old man ... It's alright ... It's just going to be a trip for a while ... And I'll do everything to make you feel at home ... It’s not forever… You’ll see her again soon." He promised softly.

Ace interrupted himself when he saw out of the corner of his eye that Stuart was now walking onto the balcony. The singer came in quietly, Ace sending him a silent look for help. Murdoc was now trembling under one of his arms, and he didn't know if he could handle it all on his own. The American himself was shit with words, right?

"Muds ... Is everything ok ...?" Stuart whispered, now finally showing himself. Worried, he moved to his other side. Murdoc was being restrained by Ace's side hug, but it didn't stop Stuart from placing a hand on his remaining shoulder, encouraging him to speak.

For a few seconds, all that was heard was the wind hitting the glass of the closed window behind the three of them, the leaves of the threes shaking, cars coming and going on the street. Murdoc trembled in the American's arms, as if fighting an internal battle between doing or not doing something. Anyway, he finally chose.

"There's something I need to say to both of you ..."

Suddenly he broke the embrace almost irritably. He straightened his spine, grasped both of his hands on theirs, staring at those hands. Stuart's eyes widened, blushing violently; his face now burned with shame, trying to understand if Murdoc was really doing this; As for Ace, he frowned, disconcerted, looking over and over at the Satanist and Stuart, trying to understand what was going on there.

“A-Ahm ... Doc? You want to tell us something? ”

Even with a warm face, Stuart looked kindly at Murdoc, almost able to understand what was going on there. Despite his damaged brain, he empathized with any of them; so she gently caressed Murdoc's trembling hand, encouraging him to speak. The harsh voice finally appeared, heterochromatic eyes still fixed on the hands Murdoc held.

"Ace ... 2D ..." He swallowed hard, his heart racing at a level that could almost feel it in his throat. He held those hands tightly, as if they were his only support. "I-I ... What I feel for you ... It's much bigger than friendship ..." He licked his lips nervously. Ace now stared at him as if he was seeing a ghost, and Stuart widened a little his smile in his direction, but none of them were noticed; Murdoc just kept looking at his hands, the trembling voice continuing.

"II have feelings for you ... Strong ones…. I don't… I don’t know what it is to love someone ... But I really want to find out ... And I want to find out with you both… I think ...” He swallowed hard, it was now or never “I love you." He finished.

It was done. An enormous weight left his shoulders, a relieved sigh escaping his still trembling lips. Tears again took the corner of the bassist's eyes, who finally looked up at 2D.

“You, Stuart… For the twenty years we've been together. Being my singer, my best mate… my Bluebird… ”He smiled weakly, immediately being matched by the gap that were showing on 2D’s flushed face.

Murdoc then glanced at Ace. "And you, Ace ... For being a special person years ago and never forgetting about me ... I want to redeem myself for the mistake of ... Leaving you ..."

Ace shook his head, stunned. It was his turn to turn his eyes to his green hands, trying to get some visual support to support him, because his legs were about to give in. Murdoc's rough voice was still in the air, determined to go all the way deep inside both man.

“I'm not good with words or feelings, but… I want to make it work. For the three of us…” Murdoc nibbled his lips, because he had to, didn't he? Now there was no turning back and it would be a long and difficult path to go through ... "Because I'm selfish ... I can't choose between you both and I don't want to."

Finally, a new silence filled the room. Murdoc bent over again, staring at the ground as he trembled violently; It was as if he expected a return, an answer, an approval... anything, even a negative reaction. Stuart smiled like he was dreaming, almost unable to process it all; As for Ace, his face was still burning like hell when he let a short laugh escape his lips seeing how Murdoc was nervous.

"S-Shit, Doc ..." He muttered, finally raising his reddened eyes to face him. "Is that what we're talking about ...?"

With a jolt, the American suddenly released those hands, only to wrap his arms around their necks and pull them into a triple hug. He wasn’t good with words either, because all he could do was act; and with those two idiots, his reactions were always sudden, intense, passionate, like a groupie who finally got a chance with her two idols. In that triple hug, the sharp-toothed grin on display, he felt trembling like a teenager in love.

"I can't choose between you guys either, so ..."

Stuart was still red, but let out a relaxed laugh as he hugged him. Instinctively, he placed a kiss on each of their faces, causing Ace to blush and widen his smile even more, while Murdoc also sketched a small one, still trembling with nervousness.

"I'm so glad we're going out on this hiatus together, I ... I love you both so much ..." Stuart muttered, closing his eyes for a second.

The silence made Ace clear his throat. It was still red from recent statements, and even though he was learning how to express himself properly, words were still not his forte. The mix of 2D and Murdoc smells intoxicated him, but when he realized what was going on there, he finally broke the hug gently.

They were on the eve of a trip that might cost them their lives. That hiatus was more than an escape, but it meant their freedom; a final battle for Murdoc's much-deserved freedom. The old man had done right with Noodle ... He had even declared himself. Everything had changed in a matter of moments. It was then that Ace realized: something important was missing.

If this was the last night with his two big idols in his apartment, well ... He couldn't let that the way it was. He needed to enjoy their stay until the last minute; and though his face was flushed, Ace Copular had one of his brilliant ideas. All he needed now was to gain some time; until he could go out, buy a decent amount of alcohol, go back to that house and make it worthy of a bachelorette party. A party of just ... Three. A shiver went up and down his spine. It would be the party of their lives.

“So… we all love each other, but tomorrow is the big day. Doc… ”He looked at Murdoc, an unpretentious smile on his face, almost as if he didn't want to be understood. “Stuart packed a bag for you. I think you two can go over the plan, you know… Aligning things… While I'm going… Fix one last thing outside? ”He suggested, as innocently as he could, as he wasn’t good with words.

Stuart, still smiling, shrugged, as if accepting the proposal.

"Ah ... Alright Ace, Muds and I will be here waiting for you ..."

Murdoc frowned. He was still trying to recover from the whirlwind of emotions that had seized him, but he was still conscious enough to realize that there was some malice in Ace's ideas. Well ... That could be good, couldn't it? Ace's body language, coupled with his inability to lie, showed that to Murdoc. The Satanist grinned, nodding.

"Okay, okay, Acey, boy ... Go fix your last thing outside ..." He agreed, looping Stuart around the waist, a dirty smile causing 2D to blush as Murdoc said the last words: "I take care of _our_ Bluebird while we wait for you..."

Ace nodded as he saw that. He was trying to keep his neutral smile on his lips, but he already knew Murdoc understood where he was going. Well, it was no sin. Going out to buy a simple alcohol in order to keep them relaxed and finally understand what that dynamic between ... Three would be like from now own.

"So ... See ya, boys." he said with a wide smile, turning his back on that couple and heading straight for the exit door.

Perhaps it was pathetic to think that even now he was behaving like a desperate groupie. Ace tried to keep his composure, but even though the lives of the three men were in danger from the next morning on, just for that brief moment, what commanded his mind now was a simple image.

The image of heterochromatic eyes and strands of blue hair... together. In his room. Only for him. Yes. And with that image in his head, he left the apartment and slammed the front door, not even bothering to take the four suitcases that occupied his living room from the front.


	11. Epilogue

Stuart couldn't understand why he'd bothered to do all that. Perhaps his intention had been to distract Murdoc after the green man's encounter with Noodle. Maybe he just wanted to entertain him while Ace didn't come back, or maybe offer him some security around the real madness they were about to start the next day, but now ... God, now everything was a huge mess.

They were sitting on the living room’s floor. Chaos spread over that same floor: Murdoc's fake passport, three train tickets to Edinburgh, and the plane tickets to Atlanta. They were going to land in Atlanta because Ace there knew a guy, who knew a guy, who knew a guy who owed him a favor, and the federal police would be kinder to them there for that reason, and God willing, the three would enter the States. Apart, because together would draw a lot of attention, they would rent a car, and ...

No, it couldn’t be. They had to enter together or one could get lost and that would be a disaster. Yeah, they would go by train separately, but on arrival in America they had to be together, because the guy who knew the guy ... The guy who knew ...

He swallowed, desperate. Good heavens, what the hell were they doing?

"I... I ..." Stuart tapped his fingers nervously with Murdoc's fake passport in his lap. "I have to call you Malcolm ... your fake name." He spoke shakingly, trying to memorize that name as if his life depended on it. "This passport ... This passport is Scottish, so ... You ... Do you know how to do that accent?" He raised his void eyes, now white with anxiety, to the Satanist.

His plan to calm Murdoc down had surely gone downhill, right? Oh, Stuart couldn't do anything right even if he tried hard...

Murdoc frowned at him "Scottish? What the fuck do I have of Scottish?" He grabbed the passport from the singer's hands analyzing it. Did Ace go crazy? He smiled seeing that it really was of that nationality that had nothing to do with him ... Ace should have done it when drunk or high ... Or just to make fun of the older man's face. He shook his head, not believing what was in front of him.

"There's nothing Murdoc Niccals can't do, Bluebird. Or better... _Malcolm McGregor_." He said contemptuously laughing at the singer's face "I have a few hours to learn until our flight ..." He shrugged as if it was something totally possible. "But bloody hell ... Ace must be wanting to fuck us all doing this shit, and not in a good way ..." He said laughing nervously.

He put the passport back on the floor looking at the singer ... "It would be a stupid question if I asked you’re nervous, I can see it spread all over your face ..." He said pointing to Stuart's face "What’s the matter? Tell everything to uncle Mudsie here." Now that Murdoc was calmer, he really wanted to be able to… Help them both, and since Ace was gone, Stuart had to comfort him… The only one there really about to have an anxiety attack was the singer.

Stuart widened his white eyes at the man, because it couldn’t be, just couldn’t ... How could Murdoc be so calm in that situation? Of course, for him it should be easy compared to all the illegal things he had ever done in his life ... But they had to go over an insane plan that would surely kill them, deport them, get them arrested ... It couldn’t be!

"W-We will ... Be arrested!" The singer finally shouted, bringing both hands to his mouth and biting his nails frantically. "We're going ... to jail ...S-Straight from the airport to behind bars!" Murdoc and Ace had been in jail before, but he hadn’t ... What would happen to the kind hearted and gentle singer there? Would he survive?

His weak mind already scrambled things naturally, and when he was anxious ... Well, Stuart was a pit of stupid possibilities and irrational fears in the state he was in.

Murdoc saw the young man's despair and just laughed "My sweet Bluebird .... Jail is no longer an unfamiliar environment for me, y’know? And besides, I would never let you go behind bars in my place. You're too fucking gorgeous and wouldn't last a day in that hellhole...” He laughed bitterly, imagining Stuart in prison wasn’t a pleasant thought.

 “I would take all the blame to set both of you free. After all you're doing to save my sorry ass, if anyone has to pay, let it be me. " Murdoc really wanted to act differently from now on .... If he got to rock bottom he wouldn't drag any of them with him. It was a promise. They both tried to help him, if they couldn't, they didn't have to pay for someone else's mistakes. The only one who was going to pay from now on was Murdoc. And him only.

He realized from his body language, stuttering, and excessive sweating that Stuart was on the verge of an anxiety attack. He couldn't leave his singer like that... Thinking more selfishly, the hollow head could ruin the whole plan acting like this, and it was he who had agreed to run away with them both. He couldn't fuck everything up at this point when they were so close. He looked closely at 2D and approached him, taking his bony hands of pianist fingers to himself, staring at his snow-white orbs.

"Listen to me 2D." Murdoc began seriously "Nothing bad will happen, and if it happens I’ll be the only one screwed, you have my word." He frowned a little to himself, after all he lied in the past would Stuart trust him? Swallowing hard, remaining indifferent not to freak out, the singer needed him sane now.

"Let's spend some time missing ... Together ... Away from everything. It's all right Stu ... I promise we'll be fine and no one will go to jail. Besides I’ll be wearing a disguise, maybe shave my head, Ace already thought about everything huh?" He ended with a sweet smile caressing the singer's nervous face trying to bring him back to reality. Murdoc wasn't the best person in the world to comfort people, but they both made him want to change for the better.

Stuart straightened his back when he felt his hands being held. Murdoc's simple touch was enough to bring him back to Earth and his anxiety back to bearable levels. He looked away for a second, trying to absorb Murdoc's words, nodding slowly. Something seemed… really different with him.

Murdoc used to get mad, or make fun of him when he saw the singer nervous that way, but now ... He seemed to care about his fears and hesitation even if it was partially irrational and anxiety. His attitude, though surprising, seemed very genuine. Something inside his damaged brain insisted on telling him to believe in the Satanist.

He looked up at him again, his eye widened in awe. Was Murdoc ... caressing his face? With the same hand that used to punch him… That was really surprising. He cleared his throat, feeling his cheeks burning. He couldn’t hold back a small smile to appear on his lips.

"I ... Alright, I ... God, Muds, I don't want anything bad happening to you either ... I-I mean ... Malcolm." He closed his eyes, feeling like a complete idiot. He couldn't even memorize Murdoc's fake name.

"My God, this is so weird ... This name ..." He cracked a shy smile, trying to mend the sequence of stupid things he'd done since Ace left that apartment. Had he failed everything he wanted to do, right?

Murdoc smiled kindly when he saw how Stuart was blushing. The singer has always been extremely adorable ... And if there was one thing he missed like hell in prison, it was his Bluebird. Every fucking day ... How sweet and fragile he was. And now that he was able to calm him down ... His heart pounded again and the smile widened across his face. A genuine one... that few had the opportunity to see up to that moment ... Probably just Stuart and rarely Ace.

Murdoc couldn't help laughing when he saw the singer fumbling with words. "I also need to get used to my new name, 2D it’s not only you ..." he said still caressing his face, his skin was so soft, so different from his own, even with age. "Let's try to focus on the good part, okay?" They had to think positive to get out of it all unharmed.

 "It's everything new for us .... Er .... The three of us ..." Murdoc was trying to focus on the fact that they were lovers now ... He wasn’t thinking about the band nor the other two remaining members.

His focus was entirely on the relationship between the two who would share the same roof with him for the next… months? "I'm happy to have you by my side .... Not having to choose...." He confessed awkwardly looking at the singer. He was acting with a positivity that was even odd to himself .... But he had to change, right? To keep the two by his side, efforts needed to be made. Changes.

The touch of Murdoc's hands was above all the thing he'd missed most while he was in jail. He had missed his harsh voice too, his mismatched eyes, his sly smile, but his touch. Murdoc didn't have to be the best in advice in the world to mesmerize him. Just touching his skin like that, he truly showing love and care, so that Stuart would forget his scrambled thoughts. It was like a medicine for him.

He leaned forward, placing his pale hand over the green one that was still on his face. A short sigh left his lips, his eyes closing just a little, barely hearing those words, because all his focus was lost on that affection. No matter how much time passed, he was still in love with that asshole. And now he could understand better why Ace was too. There was no way not to be.

"Not having to ... choose ...?" He stammered, his brain shutting off just for a moment in the trance. However, circumstances soon reminded him. Stuart jumped when the apartment door was practically broken open by the third grown man in that group.

"Hey, morons!" Ace shouted with his wide smile, just to not miss the chance of a triumphant entrance. It was his house after all. The eight paper bags he carried were thick and heavy. The glass bottles clinked subtly inside, contributing to his noisy entry.

With that same smile, Ace kicked lightly at the door, slamming it behind his back. "Oh, am I interrupting something? I hope you already memorized your name, Malcolm!" He let out a short, malicious laugh. The footsteps came toward the other two, stopping only when he reached the center of the room and dumped those bags right there. Beer. Lots, lots of bottles of beer.

Murdoc was startled by how his replacement entered the room, forgetting for a moment that the apartment was ... his. Ace could come in as he pleased. Stuart, when he jumped, got rid of Murdoc's hand over his face, turning to face Ace, curious about his heavy bags.

"Son of a..." Murdoc whispered with a wide smile watching the beers in front of him "So this was what you still had to work out on the street, you fuck?" He laughed shaking his head and heading toward him "You really know how to please me even after so many years, Acey ..." He purred approaching and stealing a light kiss from his lips going to get the first bottle, a huge thirst appearing in his throat, not caring that he hadn't eaten anything that day yet and would definitely get drunk in the blink of an eye.

Stuart, meanwhile, was relatively unresponsive. "No ... you didn’t interrupt anything, Ace," swallowed hard seeing the amount of bottles in front of him "W-what’s all this for...?" he asked hesitantly without taking any bottle, still wondering if it was really a good idea. Murdoc's action of gratitude and smile, showed the singer that the two got along very well with small actions.

Ace let a new laugh escape his lips as he heard Murdoc's words. He shrugged, glancing sideways at him, embarrassed by his sudden kiss. Since when was Murdoc kind and open with affection like that? “Well, it was a very important thing, you can't deny it, Doc… I hope you both did some work here in my absence. Despite… ”He looked around the floor, noticing the mess the two had made with those documents. "... which I doubt very much." He completed, raising his eyebrows.

He also bent down for a bottle, but instead he took two. One for himself, one he threw on Stuart's lap. “What do you mean, what’s all this for? Isn't it obvious, Stewie? This is a night of celebration! ”He answered, just to tease him, sitting on the floor as well. He was glad to see Stuart restrain himself, he had to admit that he had his awkward grace; but he was even more delighted when Stuart just lost control and agreed to relax for a moment. Even more surrounded by people who cared about him and he could trust.

"I think you should drink, D ... You'll need, trust me," he added with a mischievous smile, purposely leaving the sentence open and busying himself with opening his own bottle up his sleeve.

Stuart took the bottle thrown into his lap hesitantly and opened it, watching as Murdoc was already giving big, generous sips in his own. He drank like it was a bottle of water ... How could he? Stuart sipped shyly with a nod. Couldn't refuse after what the owner of the house bought them. "Celebration ... Right ..." he said, still looking at the documents on the floor and memorizing Murdoc's new ID.

Murdoc smiled finishing his drink and wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. "Pale Ale huh? Nice one, Ace. Very Scottish." He raised his bottle, pointing at Ace and laughing at him. "Yes, Stu, the last day of us here in Europe... My last day as the man known as Murdoc Niccals." He laughed nasally thinking why Murdoc chose Scottish nationality for him, even though he liked his new name a lot.

"Is there any better way to celebrate than drinking? I don't think so ..." He laughed again seeing Stuart trying to take another sip and grimacing, it was very alcoholic, he shouldn’t be used to it. With one or two the singer would be completely wasted and that was what the Satanist wanted most, as in the old days... His two friends and now drunken lovers celebrating along with him, without anyone knowing how it could end ... After all he escaping from prison was a victory and no one congratulated him on the "Heroic" act even in his 50s.

"For the rest of our lives, dumbasses." he said lifting the bottle and waiting for a toast.

"For the rest of our fucking lives!" Ace retorted, lifting his own bottle in an imaginary toast to Murdoc, laughing like the passionate jerk he definitely was. He took a few long sips on it empting the bottle quickly, one of his half-open pinkish eyes directed at Stuart, naturally trying to get his attention. That man didn't ever relax, did he? What was him hesitating about now?

Finally, he also finished his first bottle and imitated Murdoc, the back of his hand wiping his mouth. "I was high as a kite when I made this fake passport, but you have to agree it was a good work huh?..." He gave a short dry laugh, leaning over and dragging the passport and the rest of the papers away from 2D. "You know, you don't have to worry about these details now Stewie... I'm sure Murdoc has memorized every detail of the plan already..." He cast a sideways glance at Murdoc, expecting minimal support from the other green idiot.

"’D ..." He propped his elbow on his bent leg and rested his head on his palm, watching every detail of the worried 2D’s face. "This is your last chance to get lost in the world with your very own two idiots, so ... You better be drunk to do it, don’t you agree?" He teased with a small smile. He would drink until Murdoc turns Malcolm.

Murdoc smiled at Ace wanting to convince Stuart to get drunk. He did that for years ... It was fun to see someone taking on his role this time. He drank his bottle to its bottom, realizing that Stuart hadn’t participated in the toast that was supposed to be all three ... Maybe he needed some encouragement to let go his fears and hesitation. He realized exactly what the American had in mind only with the look he saw him giving Stuart. They didn't need words to communicate at this point.

Stuart saw the two of them staring at him and felt like a trapped prey ready to be their next meal. He swallowed hard and forced himself another sip as Ace put his passport and everything away from him. Now there was nothing to disturb the three Musketeers. "I just don't want to ruin anything..." he said looking down and biting his lip. He was terribly lovely embarrassed like that.

"Stu ..." the Satanist whispered and approached him "You need to relax,  mate, that's all ... There is no need to be so tense surrounded by people you know ...." hesitated a little "Love you ..." looked to Ace nervous as if he wanted some support.

"And ... That known you for a while too ..." his hand went to Stuart's knee causing his white eyes to raise and stare at both of them. "No one will force you to drink ... but we want you to have fun with us ... " He smiled at the singer gently, unlike other times not getting angry or mocking him... Murdoc finally allowed himself to be ... polite with his request .

Ace frowned at Murdoc, not believing what he was doing. Declaring himself? The mere touch of Niccals's hand on Stuart's knee seemed to soothe him, and that scene made Ace jealous. But not destructive jealousy, he just wanted to ... be part of it. They had known each other for so long and got along so well ... The American wished he could be treated that way too ... As he had been in the past, but now with 2 people he admired.

"Ruin anything?" He repeated, laughing softly, trying to act naturally after Murdoc's almost open statement. "What? Stu… You won't ruin anything… You've done much worse things… ”He shrugged, a weak smile forming. “You kept the band together while Murdoc was gone. You kept things in order… This is going to be easy for you. ” He tried to show arguments to soothe the situation, maybe it could work.

"And besides ... We really love you." He felt his face a little hot, resorting to a new bottle of beer that he opened on his sleeve; Drinking was making more sense than resorting to his meaningless flirting. Big sips eased the feeling of being a total stranger sometimes with them.

Stuart gave up being tense and his defensive position with that simple touch and encouraging words. Murdoc didn't want to hurt him. He wasn’t being cruel. It was ... different. Ace's presence also made him calmer, feeling more… at home. He just hoped it would be like that all the time they would share together, wherever they went to, Stuart wanted these two to be his home.

He listened intently to what Ace had to say and his heart warmed... They were both really looking quite sincere about their feelings. Especially Murdoc, which was quite surprising. He smiled, believing them both and relaxing for the first time that night ... Their touch and words were enough to encourage the singer to drink and have fun without being afraid of what might happen.

He saw Ace sipping his new beer with great gulps and decided to do the same. Frowning, he drank it all at once, which made Murdoc’s jaw fall and widen his mismatched eyes. Finally Stuart would let go and that promised to be a good thing.

His hand went up a little more to caress his thigh as he finished his beer and took the second. He looked at Ace with a complacent smile realizing that he wanted to participate too. "Join us Ace .... You know you're welcome with us ..." looked at him submissively "It's just the three of us now ..." He said and bit his lip to contain a laugh, completely in awe with that conclusion. "It’s like I was telling Stu .... It was great not having to choose." He laughed, taking another sip.

Ace couldn't contain a laugh when he saw Stuart chugging practically a whole bottle in his throat. That blue creature really... Surprised him with each passing day. Jus seeing the scene of Murdoc raising his hand on the thigh of the singer who shifted anxiously… He really, really wanted to take part in that. His jealousy gave way to desire faster than he could process.

He bit his lips, dropping the unfinished beer bottle on the floor, a sideways smile directed at Murdoc. He already knew the old man was a first-class pervert, and he had witnessed Ace and Stuart shagging in front of him, but Stuart ... Well, it was the first time this was happening so wide open in front of the singer. . How would he react?

If Murdoc was a pervert and Ace was almost a needy groupie among two idols, what role did Stuart play in that story?

"I don't know, Doc ..." he whispered, crawling slowly across the floor towards them both, his tone as provocative as he could make it. Already beside them, he purposely placed his hand on Murdoc's, which was already on the singer's leg. "What do you say, Stewie ...?" He whispered at 2D's ear. "Is there room for one more here ...?"

Murdoc quickly saw that he caught the bait ... Ace was easy when it came to teasing. The Satanist knew pretty well how he was needy about their sentimental idols ... Ace would naturally obey them or at least try to please them as best he could. And sex was something Murdoc never refused.

He smiled as he saw Ace's hand over his. All he wanted most that moment was the American taking part in their “party”. He couldn’t deny that he had already fantasized about himself between those two more than once. He appreciated the provocative tone he had, grinning lasciviously at the American and his singer. He raised his hand further, approaching his groin slowly but steadily so as not to scare Stuart.

Stuart, already drank one beer fully, felt his mouth bitter and his head spin. Of the three, he was a light drinker being the slimmest and least used to alcohol, knowing that his attitude had been unwise. By the way, was there room for wisdom there? He swallowed hard as they approached him and forced a smile, his face bright red.

"Of course there is ..." He whispered uncertainly as that hand approaching along with Ace talking so close to his ear that it was chilling him "A-always had ..." He stuttered with his heart in his throat from desire and nervousness.

He was going to get another beer on the way ... But instead of opening a new bottle, the singer simply took Ace's one. Murdoc smiled at the sight of the singer drinking more and released his hand from his leg, heading for Ace.

"Looks like our Bluebird wants to have fun today, huh?" He laughed softly, approaching the American and admiring the beauty of his singer. "Sometimes I can't believe he's all ours..." He sat still laughing on Ace's lap clearly drunk and doing everything on purpose.

Ace widened his mischievous smile when he saw Stuart stammering like that and picking up his abandoned beer. The mere sight of that embarrassed singer made his heart warm and well ... It was no longer just his heart that felt hot. He was going to respond to Murdoc's provocation, but had to stop halfway.

"He ... really want that ...?" He fumbled at the words as he felt Murdoc on his lap. How could this old man be so quick and so accurate in all his movements? He grabbed desperately his waist, pulling him even closer.

Shit, Ace was already rock hard. He dug a hand over Murdoc's leg and slowly pulled it over the bulge between his legs, brushing it right there in an attempt to show how needy he was with such a tiny and simple touch, a small, silly action. He tried to keep a minimum line of reasoning, and even with Murdoc brushing against his tent, Ace kept his eyes on Stuart.

"Do you think ... We can have some fun with him, Doc ...?" He cast a slight glance to the side, unable to disguise his slightly accelerated breathing and dry mouth.

Stuart, though drunk and slower than both of them, couldn’t help noticing the lewd actions of the American with Murdoc and smiled finishing off Ace's beer and casually tossing the bottle away. He no longer cared about anything totally interested in the two in front of him. He knew that sitting on his lap wasn’t anything unassuming.

Stuart approached them, already laughing, seeing that they were whispering about himself. "Have fun with me huh?" When he saw Murdoc sitting and crumpled against Ace's larger body, he knelt in front of him daring a little more. "How about me having fun with you lads?" He whispered by the Satanist's ear with gentle kisses down his neck, no longer reasoning about his actions anymore. It was a celebration night, right?

Murdoc for a moment just froze in place. He felt Ace's bulge and how hot he was already ... His ragged breathing told him everything. He closed his eyes as he felt Stuart close to him… completely trapped, cornered. He loved the sense of domination the American had over him, and Stuart wasn't far from it either. He bit his lip hard to suppress a louder moan and just rubbed against Ace a little more, his hands going to Stuart's waist pulling him closer. He needed more touch ... more closeness. He loved feeling stuck between them.

He grabbed one of the singer's hands and put it between his legs to show him his own erection. "How about ... You two have fun with me ...?" He gasped, desperate for some relief. Preparing to be totally at the mercy of both of them ... Something he didn't think he could do, but with his mind fogged with alcohol and desire, made it so much easier.

Stuart just stared at Ace with wide eyes, breaking the kiss not knowing how to react. He wasn’t used to that vulnerable, submissive Murdoc. Was used to the bossy and full of authority Satanist that had him wrapped around his green finger, not the other way around. Murdoc was still breathing deeply and raggedly, waiting anxiously for both of them.

Stuart approached the Satanist with a gentle smile and moved his hand from his erection to his chest. His heart was beating like crazy, wild, as if he had already had an orgasm and was on his afterglow. That was a good sign, wasn't it? He smiled as he noticed that the feelings the Satanist had were more than just carnal desire ... Much more even though Murdoc was unable to verbalize them. They were genuine. He smiled even more at the conclusion, Murdoc staring at him, confused and hesitant, wondering if anything was wrong with the singer's actions.

Ace licked his lips instinctively, the look of desire on Murdoc's face, already realizing how he was desperate for more touches. The Satanist's own words sent a shiver down Ace's body, but they didn't surprise him at all. The American had seen that submissive face after all.

 "Oh, I see ..." He whispered against the bassist's face, but his eyes now turned to Stuart, referring to him. "You never saw him like that, right ...?" He smiled mischievously, trying to focus on the words, not on how much his own body already vibrated with desire. Just feeling Murdoc's thigh rubbing against his erection made his body throb more desperately. Seeing Stuart's confused and surprised face was also a treat apart... Was it really his first time and Ace was able to witness it? He felt the luckiest man on Earth.

"What do you say, Stewie ...?" He muttered, interrupting himself by slowly licking Murdoc's neck, leaving a trail of saliva there. He opened his eyes again toward the singer. "Do you think we can have some fun with him ...?"

Ace's green hands trailed to the buttons on Murdoc's trousers, undoing them and pushing the fabric down a little. He needed to enjoy every second of it; needed to make it last...

Stuart licked his own lips and shook his head at Ace's question. He'd never seen him like that before ... But that didn't mean it was any less exciting. Murdoc was exciting anyway, he could conclude at that moment. The singer was very anxious to know about this new Murdoc, or Malcolm… whatever.

Stuart was again taken aback by Ace's second question followed by a low moan from Murdoc. His arms fell lifeless beside his body, completely submissive to both of them. "Please ..." he whispered pleadingly caring for nothing but the desperate desire that rose in his throat to feel loved... The way Murdoc knew best: Physically. The Satanist lost the shame of everything ... He knew that with both of them he didn’t have to hide. He didn't have to keep up appearances ... He could be just himself. Maintaining his pose was really tiring at this point.

Stuart smiled at the American and nodded. "I don't think we can keep Muds waiting if he wants us that much, Ace..." he said smiling as he saw the Satanist melting in his lap. It was a divine sight how much he was desperate for both of them.

As Ace pulled his pants down he tried to get rid of the Satanist's shirt by leaving him half naked. Already desperate, Murdoc helped the American remove his own clothes, keeping his underwear in place, already wet from pre-cum with an apparent and aching bulge by now.

"I want ..." Murdoc managed to say after a while opening his eyes facing both men "I need you ... This day ... And always ..." He swallowed. "You are .... All I ever wanted ... The best thing that ever happened to me ..." he smiled blushing profusely talking too much after drinking. "Use me, I'm yours." He finished looking down. Stuart looked at Ace and smiled... Really impressed at how Murdoc switched after pushing the right buttons.

Ace was already nibbling his lips to the point of almost drawing blood, so much the need that vision of Murdoc generated over his body. A tremulous smile appeared on his face, along with the certainty that he really wanted to see Murdoc suffer a little, just a little, yes…

“What… you always… wanted…? Really…? ”He repeated in a whisper, with little awareness left. His green fingers were already on the edge of Murdoc's underwear, playing with the rubber band there. Slowly, he lowered it down, the sight of the Satanist's erect cock making his mouth water.

"You heard Doc, Stewie ..." Then he put two fingers into his own mouth, moistening them as much as he could with his sensibly dry mouth. "We can't leave him ... this ... way ..." He whispered brokenly, closing his eyes in needy instinct as he brought his fingers to Murdoc's entrance, only slowly circling it. God, the way Murdoc was throbbing was already driving him crazy, barely able to concentrate on all those statements the Satanist was making...

Murdoc just nodded silently as Ace pulled off his last piece of clothing causing his cock to pop out so hard it was. He didn't feel ashamed to be that way. He just wanted to show both of them how horny he was, dripping with desire, how much he needed them both.

He held his hands out of touching himself, knowing full well that Ace hated it when he acted without permission. His face was still red, his heart in his throat, his breathing ragged. That was the vision of paradise to Stuart who could never seen Murdoc so ... submissive. It made his cock get even harder if it was possible. The singer really wanted to take part in that and soon.

Murdoc just arched his back, holding on not to sit on those fingers. "Ace..." he whispered and bit his lip closing his eyes. By now Stuart’s jaw fell... Was really Murdoc in front of him, wincing and wanting more? Almost begging? His damaged brain was slow to process. Where was the Murdoc he once knew?

"Play with him, Ace ..." Stuart said relatively authoritatively going to undress himself as well. He would have to be a little more assertive and not as submissive as usual in that situation, even though he didn't even know where to start and was very awkward for that role. Even though he wasn’t participating yet, just watching was quite a pleasure.

Murdoc wrapped his arms around Ace's shoulders after turning to face him, seeking some support already feeling his legs giving in. "M-more ..." he whispered by his ear, clearly not satisfied with just two fingers. He shuddered once more as he looked down and saw Ace's bulge again. He craved to have it inside him and soon. He looked at Stuart undressing and let out a little moan ... Both men were gorgeous. Either of them inside him would satisfy Murdoc.

 Still, something inside the Satanist’s mind made him feel momentarily old and unattractive. The third piece that didn't fit there ... He just wanted to be good and satisfy both men .... Give no reason for them to leave him or be disappointed by his role as "Sex God" that had momentarily disappeared at that moment.

His own pleasure didn't matter much .... He thought they could have anyone better than him in the world, including each other, why want him just as an intruder? Was it for pity? He closed his eyes tighter, trying to ward off the negative thoughts that insisted on screaming inside his messed up head.

Not really thinking, he took his previous half-filled forgotten bottle and drink the rest of beer all at once. Trying desperately to forget everything he was feeling ... Fear, hesitation, paranoids... Everything. He was relatively nervous ... It wasn't his first time in a threesome ... But it was the first time doing it with people he had strong feelings for and not just strangers hired for sex ... It was ... Terrifying. He was afraid of being a huge failure the people he loved most. It all consumed him as alcohol made Murdoc empty his mind and just focus on being… used for their pleasure.

Stuart's voice urging him to continue, coupled with that divine vision of Murdoc given to him, shut down the last remaining lapse of consciousness in Ace. Something lit like a fire that burned him inside out, a need that finally made him tear his lips with his own bites, wanting to break the man's skin in his lap.

“M-More?” He repeated shakily to Murdoc, finishing surrendering to his most primitive instincts. A lewd smile formed on what was left of his lips, his gaze suddenly directed to Stuart. "Like what you see?" He whispered, indicating that needy Murdoc who was almost sitting on his fingers. “Look at this then…” He really wanted to give the voyeur singer a true show.

He took the empty bottle from Murdoc's hand, only to gently lay him on the floor. With the Satanist's shirt, he knotted Murdoc's wrists to immobilize him. Then he pulled him back so that Murdoc was on his knees on the same floor, treating him like a rag doll. He positioned himself behind him, his own cock almost aching in the need to make Murdoc his right there, but holding him back one last time, just to whisper by his ear.

“Are you going to be on your hands and knees for me, Doc? Let's show Stewie the best you can do huh? Are you going to be a good boy for me...? ”He murmured, slowly biting one of the Satanist's shoulders. His skin was trembling and so close to his that even though he played the dominant role so well, Ace cut himself off for a second, just for a brief moment, muttering against his shoulder at that sight, “God, Doc… You're so fucking beautiful... So our." He slapped his ass hard making Murdoc yell.

Stuart was practically naked when Ace asked about him wanting more and inviting him to watch. He stopped what he was doing to enjoy the show. Not caring much, decided to stroke himself with that vision, no one said he couldn't right? He wanted to have some fun and didn't feel more ashamed knowing that Murdoc could be as vulnerable as himself. He smiled at that conclusion, letting out a low moan as he saw Ace whispering obscenities at the elder's ear and slapping his ass that hard. That would definitely leave a handprint there. Another fresh mark for Murdoc.

Murdoc noticed something on his wrists and offered no resistance. He just nodded, already dizzy, and put himself in the requested position. "Yes, sir ..." He said without hesitation "Whatever you wish ... I am yours." he spoke again, already moving his hips knowing that Stuart was right there jerking off to him and already drooling over both of them. He wanted to give the singer a good show ... Seeing that for the first time. Who would have thought that seeing Murdoc in a position that was normally 2D who would occupy something so... Exciting.

Murdoc hid his face by lowering his head to the shirt that held his wrists. "I'm not ..." He said, embarrassed to be complimented in such an obscene position. Ace should be saying that to make him feel better, it could only be. He arched his back even more, wiggling at him looking at Ace from over his shoulder, drooling with his tongue hanging outta his mouth.

"Will you stand there only complimenting me or .... Will you show Bluebird what you you’re good doing ...?" He dared a little more trying to sound more assertive not losing his pose despite his inner demons insisting he was horrible and that there was no place for him there.

He raised his head and stared at Stuart, who felt his blood run cold and even momentarily stopped stroking himself admiring Murdoc in that position about to be fucked ... "He's right, Muds. You're bloody handsome." He said with the sweetest smile and the greatest sincerity in the world, which made Murdoc's eyes water and he bowed his head again in shame, just waiting for the American's thrusts silently, trembling softly as he couldn’t believe Stuart was being serious.

He still couldn't believe that they both really had feelings for him, that they really thought he was handsome, or even someone good... Stuart smiled at Ace again, still jerking off, the same sweet and charming smile across the singer’s face... Silently saying to him  to go forward. He was anxious to take part in all that but wanted to just watch it before attending the "Celebration".

Ace's knees almost gave in as his eyes fell on the image of Murdoc on his hands and knees in front of him, just waiting for his thrusts. The way he arched his back, the way he hid his face in his t-shirt, trying to hide his emotions as usual, even though he was melting right there ... Stuart praising him ... Wanting so bad for Murdoc really believe what he was told with such emotion… It was all overwhelming really.

"I'll ... show ..." he stammered, panting. He dug both hands into Murdoc's thighs, leaning forward and finally thrusting his own wet, throbbing, needy cock into that tight passage that belonged to the Satanist. So ... Fucking tight ... He wouldn’t hold back anymore ...

He closed his eyes and tilted his head back in utter trance as he felt Murdoc's muscles trying to adjust to himself as they tried to expel him. He felt himself inside the warm hole Murdoc had, and as if his throbbing cock wasn't enough, his heart throbbed as well, beating wildly. "D-Doc ..." A whisper escaped his lips along with a smug smile of pure bliss.

He began to move as slowly as he could, waiting for the other to adjust to him, going deeper and deeper ... His eyes finally opening just a little to focus on Stuart's image, one hand letting go of Murdoc's thigh to call the singer closer, in a mute signal with his index finger.

Murdoc was still trying to recover from Stuart's compliment when he felt Ace inside him all at once. He howled with pure pleasure mixed with pain of being torn in the middle. His hands twitched on his shirt, but he couldn't get out of there. He lowered his head and closed his eyes with tears in the corner of his eyes wining for Ace with a mantra. He was a crying and drooling mess at this point, even hiding his face Stuart and Ace knew that.

His nails dug into the ground as he felt the American grasp his thighs and his whole body shuddered. He could only enjoy Ace inside him a few moments before he started moving .... And his name escaping his lips made his insides tighten and his heart beat even faster if it was possible. "M-more ..." He begged.... Murdoc Needed more.

The Satanist soon could no longer contain his high moans and cried spreading his legs further and arching his back to allow the American to go deeper .... Feeling him, fully filled and ... _Loved_. Completely his as it had to be ... But now, he didn't want to be just Ace's ... Murdoc wasn't completely satisfied yet.

Stuart was so delirious at the sight of Murdoc drooling and being fucked right there that he could scarcely look at Ace who was now silently calling him. As a good and obedient puppy the singer got up and went toward him curious about what the American wanted.

Stuart didn't hesitate to approach him quickly, kissing Ace boldly and provocatively. He wrapped him in a passionate, needy kiss, pulling his t-shirt up to see him naked. As soon as he could pull it off, he bit his lip with the rest of his teeth, admiring that sight.

"Fuck Ace .... You're such a tease..." He whispered to him making sure that although busy Murdoc heard him too. The singer approached again kissing him. He grabbed Ace's hand making the American jerk him off, wiggling his hips toward his hands provocatively as he did the same to Murdoc as he was fucked.

Stuart was really bolder and more assertive, hoping Ace didn't care, he wouldn't have the two submissives for him there, it would be too lucky. Murdoc arched his back when he was touched and cried out Ace's name followed by Stuart's. He wanted both of them. And he wanted now.

Ace almost disengaged feeling Stuart's kiss on his cut-sensitive lips, but Murdoc's hole that wrapped his cock drew him crazier, waking from his trance and coming back to himself. Murdoc was still so hot and so wet, finally welcoming him with the most relaxed muscles ... Ace kept his eyes only half open, no longer knowing if he was directing them to what his hands were promoting over that singer's hard cock, or to Murdoc, the man who moaned their names on the floor.

He thrusted deeper into the Satanist, the thrusts now more abrupt, because he couldn't stand it. "Fuck, D-Doc ..." But he couldn't cum yet, no ... So he stopped his movements for a brief moment. Ace looked up, for Stuart that now was standing beside him, and looking at his hard cock, Ace ran his tongue over it, the trail of saliva mingling with Stuart's pre-cum.

With his eyes on him, Ace smirked. With a stronger movement, he pulled Murdoc up again, breaking the Satanist's doggy style position and forcing him to lean his back on his chest. Now Murdoc was kneeling in front of him, Ace's cock still inside the eldest. With the mischievous smile and eyes on Stuart, Ace caressed the Satanist's face, pressing a finger inside his mouth, forcing Murdoc to open it a little.

"Y-You ... Do you hear the calls, Stewie?" He whispered, his body shaking so violently that he could barely support himself on his knees. "Murdoc wants you too..." He raised his eyebrows, hoping that Stuart would understand what he should do next even without instructions.

Stuart winced at the sight of Ace's tongue on his cock. It was all he wanted ... In fact by now he wanted anything really ... His foggy mind of alcohol just thought about the two in front of him ... How beautiful they were together and how lucky he was to be able to take part in it.

He bit his lip and watched the sudden change of position followed by a little cry of surprise from Murdoc, probably not ready for it, too focused on his previous position. He couldn’t contain a small giggle seeing someone so experienced in sex still being surprised.

Murdoc was quick to change position to a more comfortable one still feeling Ace inside him, the new position making things even more difficult as he now touched his prostate more intensely, the weight of his body helping it. Without thinking much, he just leaned on the floor and began to do all the work for the American, going up and down, moaning a little louder this time. His face was flushed, he was panting and couldn't go as fast as he wanted to, but that didn't make things any less interesting to any of the three.

Feeling Ace open his mouth, he began to lick his fingers hungrily, a small show for Stuart, playing with them with his tongue to arouse him. Stuart smiled, not hesitating to go ahead with the plan. He positioned himself in front of the older man and pressed his cock into his already open, drooling mouth. Murdoc was the vision of paradise.

Soon his abnormally long tongue, circled Stuart's cock what made the singer’s knees almost give him. Murdoc’s trembling, tied up hands itched to touch himself, but he was obedient, leaving his own cock without attention, dutifully being used by both of them, just a fucktoy.

"Muds..." he moaned stroking his black hair as the Satanist began a slow, lustful and sloppy blowjob, sometimes stopping to catch his breath, carefully diverting his teeth from hurting the singer. It was interspersed with moans each time he sat in Ace’s cock. Murdoc was completely submissive to their will. Soon he was engulfing the singer totally deepthroating him. Tears ran down his face, his pleasure was just too much being fucked both way.

That was too much for Ace. Once Stuart to stick his cock in the Satanist's mouth and it was wrapped in that long tongue, a muffled moan to escape his lips. Stuart's ecstatic face, Murdoc's tight hole that was already wide open to himself, the panting breaths that caressed his ears ... It was in pure ecstasy. Best sex he had ever had.

Ace wanted this to last forever, but he couldn't hold back anymore. It was getting too difficult already. One hand gripped Murdoc's hair, pulling it back and forcing him to open wide his mouth to Stuart's cock. The other hand rested on the Satanist’s cock, which was already throbbing desperately.

"D-Doc ... You ... Fuck ..." He tried to whisper in vain that he couldn't take it any longer, just closing his eyes and wincing.

His hand kept stroking Murdoc’s cock till, with a growl of pleasure, Ace came inside him, his jets flooding Murdoc inside, the American's sharp teeth digging into the older man's shoulder, just as Murdoc used to do with Stuart sometime earlier to mark him as his. His arms wrapped around his lean waist and he hugged him close, burying himself completely inside Murdoc as he panted trying to catch his breath, whispering how he was happy and how Murdoc was theirs.

Murdoc felt his teeth on his shoulder and groaned a little louder when he realized what the American had in mind ... mark him. He really liked that idea. Stuart, taking advantage of the blowjob the Satanist offered him, together with Ace's reactions within him, and his alcohol-intoxicated mind, decided to do something even bolder. Wondering that he would never have another opportunity like that....

Murdoc trying to keep his cock in his mouth while Ace came inside him was a very interesting thing to see, how he moaned against it, the drool already running down his chin. His gaze turned to his now black orbs ... The singer smiled mischievously at the image in front of him and without much thought pulled Murdoc from Ace's lap and laid him on the couch with a force that God knows where it came from. He needed Murdoc and needed him now ... Needed to be inside him, to make him his ... Just as Ace did. His desire and need screamed louder and he decided to stop fighting against them.

Murdoc was still completely in awe by what was happening around him and tied up by his T-shirt. With a longer blink, he had been thrown back and forth. Stuart spread his legs obscenely with Murdoc facing him on the couch and began mercilessly thrusting into him using Ace's cum as lube.

Murdoc began to moan and cry once more, now facing both man, he was a drooling and beautiful mess. He knew it couldn't last long. He glanced sideways at the American, silently begging him to come closer and touch him as Stuart fucked him mercilessly. He wanted them both for himself, needed both of them together, selfish as always.

His eyes were already welling with tears and his hands went up over his head pushed by Stuart, focused on what he was doing, unable to touch himself at all. Murdoc loved this new dominant singer but couldn’t day anything so he just moaned and begged for more. Stuart on the other side where Ace left his mark, tried to make his own… Murdoc now marked as theirs, everything he wanted most.

Ace shook his head, hardly believing what he was witnessing. He tried to crack a smile of satisfaction, but he couldn’t do it; the image of Stuart fucking Murdoc right there in front of him was making him salivate again. Where had that attitude come from? Murdoc moaning their names with his arms raised over his head, pinned against the couch, Stuart thrusting into him mercilessly ... That dominant expression on the singer's face .... He would never forget that and hoped that was the first time of many other…

Anyway, his smile widened when Ace saw Murdoc calling him with that desperate look. Murdoc's cock had been forgotten so far, and by now he must have been in need, but well ... Ace still didn't want to be merciful to him, not yet. Make him suffer a little more like the good masochist he was.

With that lascivious smile on his lips, he crawled over to the duo that nearly ruined his couch. He watched Stuart with that red face, sweat running down his temples, his void, thirsty eyes toward the Satanist, possibly overwhelmed by the sense of power he might finally have over the Gorillaz’ leader... What would do just a little more arousal? He thought alone when a evil idea appeared in his mind.

Even though Ace had already cum, that didn't stop him from playing with them with the last of his strength. What if he teased Stuart the right way,...? He stepped behind him silently. He softly pressed his lips to Stuart's ear to the point where he could feel the sweaty blue hair brush over his face smelling his sweet scent. He moistened a finger in his own mouth, descending toward the gap between the singer's buttocks.

"Just like that, Stewie ..." He whispered, a little bewildered by the scene he was witnessing, his knees almost giving in again. “Make Murdoc yours… It feels good, doesn't it…? For the first time... ”He teased, pressing his finger into Stuart's entrance, sliding it in slowly, just to see his reaction in that situation…

Stuart, just focusing on the man in front of him, hadn’t forgotten Ace for a moment, knowing that even though he had already cum using and abusing them, he hoped he would like the sight at least. In fact, despite having the moment of his life right there in front of the American ... He wouldn’t object if the American wanted to join them. He knew Murdoc wouldn’t last long. And that made him even more excited about the possibilities.

As Ace approached, Murdoc was already moaning even louder the name of the two too lost in trying to hold his orgasm. Stuart, though still drunk, could hear Ace's words fully, grinning as he felt his finger inside him. He nodded turning his face roughly to kiss him.

"If you really want to entertain me, Ace ... You have to use at least 3 fingers ..." The singer said looking into his eyes after breaking the kiss. He didn't know where all that boldness was coming from ... Was it alcohol? The situation itself ...? Stuart was a virgin in a threesome ... But they didn't need to know right?

He felt Ace’s cum dripping down Murdoc's legs as he contracted a little more with his cock inside the Satanist. The sensation was marvelous, making him shiver and his legs felt like jelly when the American found his sweet spot. Now it was his turn to call their names.

Murdoc watched them interact and couldn’t help feeling his cock throb with pleasure. He had seen Ace with Stuart together before ... But right now in another situation, a small sadness rose in his chest at being set aside. One of his moans turned into a soft sob, trying to catch their attention. His arms still up prevent him of touching himself ... The Satanist was becoming desperate with so many restrictions. Did they both want to punish him? Because if they wanted to be cruel, they were succeeding.

"Three fingers, huh ...?" Ace repeated in a whisper, frowning a little, almost unable to believe what he heard from the singer's mouth. The smile soon returned to his lips; If Stuart wanted three fingers, why not give him one more? He was feeling generous that day.

Ace wasn’t careful the second time. Stuart's hole was hot and already throbbing for more, the muscles surrounding his two… three… four fingers that he started thrusting inside him. A faint moan left his lips when he finally felt the resistance from those muscles, but he wasn't going to stop now, not yet ... He had to tease him more, just a little more, to see Stuart losing him mind with Murdoc ...

"Three was what you wanted?" He whispered almost threateningly, the only free hand gripping his blue hair, pulling his head back in an attempt to tease him.

He glanced down at Murdoc's deplorable situation before whispering again in his ear, his eyes still on the moaning bassist. "Come on, Stewie ... I want to see you fuck him ... Like you never fucked anyone in your life before..."

Stuart felt exactly what he wanted. Be challenged. Ace was quick and agile in what he was doing which had the expected effect. As he fucker Murdoc, he also forced himself on Ace's fingers ... Which, due to alcohol, made him less likely to feel pain. But he knew pretty well the result of this would be very painful the next morning. Neither of them would be able to sit on the seat of the plane to travel.

"Yes, please Ace ...." He said between moans increasing the speed and strength of the movements into Murdoc, fucking him hard and fast. He wanted to make him howl. He felt his hair being pulled out and groaned their names, his legs almost totally giving in, seeking some support in Ace's hand.

Murdoc by this time was already biting back his cries... He begged for more asked for permission to cum ... Warned that he was close, called their names as if his life depended on it. He was so eager for some touch beyond Stuart inside himself. The singer's hands went to his hips, digging in his short nails there and pulling him harder against his body, making both of them clash and echo the noise throughout the room. His prostate was being hit mercilessly by the singer making Murdoc see stars.

Murdoc, visibly desperate and seeing that his arms had been released, wrapped them behind Stuart's neck causing him to bend over, freeing himself from Ace's hand in his hair and voraciously kissing him.

He kissed him with desire and passion, using his abnormally long, skillful tongue to deepen the kiss even further. The movement made Stuart arch his back which made it even easier for Ace to continue what he was doing. He moaned into Murdoc's mouth, unable to hold back even though his movements were steady and at the same speed and strength.

Murdoc's sudden approach was very welcomed by Ace. He could hardly concentrate on anything, because Stuart's muscles worked around his four fingers, and the moans were already mingling with each other inside the room, but still ... He couldn’t believe the singer got used so fast to his invasion.

Without thinking, Ace wrapped his remaining hand around the Satanist's throbbing cock. So wet and so hard that made the American salivate instinctively, trembling to concentrate on what he was doing. The mutual moans and sweating were making him so disconcerted that he hardly knew what to do.

He wanted each of them to come at the same time, and that was why he was behind Stuart with his four fingers, why he leaned a little forward, practically pinning the singer between himself and Murdoc, only to be able to reach and reproduce upon Murdoc’s cock those unregulated, almost desperate movements.

"C-cum, Doc ..." He whispered, but now in no condition to order anything; his tone was almost pleading. "Cum for us ..."

Stuart as well as Murdoc were on the verge of collapse. Ace's actions added to his request were enough for both of them cum in unison. Murdoc in his hand and Stuart inside him with Ace's fingers intensifying the sensation.

It was the best orgasm of their lives ... Stuart had never been stimulated in two ways at once ... Plus it was his first time with Murdoc. Meanwhile, the Satanist found himself completely filled after the two man he loved came inside him, moaning and crying against Stuart's mouth.

They both spoke the names of the others ... Their bodies shook violently and Stuart eventually fell to the ground with his already weak legs carrying Murdoc along with him breaking free of Ace's fingers in the process. The Satanist was still having spasms of the violent orgasm he just had, leaned closer the singer, silently, and hugged him tightly, wrapping his legs around his waist as if Stuart would disappear at any moment. They both panted and gasped for air, his hearts slamming inside their rib cages.

The Satanist moaned a few incoherent words still in his lap in a desperate tone, seeming like thanks. He buried his face in the singer's shoulder as Stuart hugged him trying to catch his breath still inside the Satanist and soothed him by saying sweet nothings in his ear, stroking his hair, as if trying to silence a frightened child. Why was he like this suddenly?

After a few moments for the two to recover their breaths, Stuart kept Murdoc on his lap now sitting on the floor pulling out the Satanist, Ace still behind them. He patted his back gently until he heard a sobbing sound and Murdoc's shoulders moved. Stuart frowned, not understanding what was going on. The noise repeated itself and the body in his arms trembled gently squeezing him even more in a desperate hug, seeming terrified even.

Stuart turned to the American "Ace, please untie him." Stuart knew something was wrong with the Satanist who was hiding his face in his chest, grabbing him as if this was the last time he could do it. He looked at Ace worriedly, but saying nothing and just letting Murdoc have his moment without unnecessary questions.

Ace was still trying to recover from the sequence of scenes he had experienced. The mutual orgasm of those two, the way they had moaned in unison, the way they were now holding each other while sitting together on the floor in a protective way ... Shit, what was happening to him...? The feeling of seeing them achieving pleasure together had broken something inside Ace. But how...? He felt the urge to join them and help Murdoc who seemed… bewildered after sex. He had never seen him like this.

His heart was racing still. Ace Copular didn't think he was the type to beg for cuddling and attention after a hardcore shag, but now ... What had happened to him? He still had Murdoc’s cum in one hand and Stuart’s damp in the other, but he couldn't even think about it. He could only think of those two together, the way they hugged and the way the scene warmed his chest, relaxed each of his muscles in his afterglow... He didn’t even think about smoking. Oh, shit ... He was really and deeply in love with those two. Now he couldn’t deny it anymore.

"... What ...?" He whispered at Stuart's words, still inert, barely able to understand what he was asking. He had been so mesmerized by the beauty of that scene that he had hardly realized that there were really strange noises coming from Murdoc. "I ... sure ..." He tried to recover quickly, shaking his head.

He went as fast as he could toward those two, kneeling on the floor. He untied Murdoc and touched his shoulder with one hand, trying to get a little support, visibly worried. “Doc ...? Doc, are you alright ...? ”He didn't force him to anything, just wanting to make sure he hadn't done anything wrong.

Stuart had seen it happen before... But he wasn't going to act like it was ordinary because he thought it was Ace's first time seeing Murdoc break down after sex. This happened when he drank too much and was less aggressive and more emotional. The singer tried to act with love and compassion knowing how Murdoc should react.

Murdoc tensed and flinched at Ace's touch, coming back to reality for a brief moment. He hugged Stuart even harder as a louder sob tore from his throat. He was still shaking and hiding himself desperately.

Stuart looked at the American with regretful eyes. The singer hated when this happened to Murdoc, he felt sorry for him when his pain became so outward that it was almost palpable. "Muds ..." he called him fondly, which made the Satanist hesitantly and slowly raise his head, showing his tear-filled eyes and wet cheeks. "Did we hurt you?" He asked calmly caressing Murdoc's hair that was now messy and sweaty glued to his forehead.

Murdoc looked down and shook his head after a sob. They hadn’t hurt him, the Satanist had already had much lower and dirty sexual experiences, which caused him much more pain and left deep scars ... But never, Murdoc never had ended a sex feeling as overwhelmed with emotions as he was now. Stuart sighed with relief that they didn't get too heavy with him.

He looked at both of them and sniffed, his face full with tears, his heart aching and his head with a million thoughts with so many feelings inside him. "You ... You won't leave me, will you?" He sobbed again "I ... I never felt that way after shagging ... It's ... so good ... I just wanted to say ...." He swallowed, very nervous "That I love you." More tears rolled down his cheeks. "Thank you." He whispered, his lower lip trembling.

Murdoc was terrified of being abandoned again... Scares of all of that being a dream and he would go back to jail... Of both men giving up on helping him because it was too risky and he wasn’t worth it. Scared about they not having true feelings for him, but being there out of pity. Murdoc would never forgive himself if something happened to any of them because of him ... Not again. He couldn’t stand it.

He raised both hands and caressed the faces of the men in front of him. "Stay ... Please ... Stay with me." Murdoc knew he didn't deserve it. He knew he wasn’t worthy of their love. He knew he wasn't a good person. But he was still so selfish to want both men more than anything in his life. Just for himself. "I promise to be someone better ... I swear." his hands shook visibly nervously having an emotional breakdown right there in front of them after a real good sex.

Stuart was in shock, unable to respond. His heart was pounding, and he just repeated the mechanical movement of affection on the older man's back trying to process everything he had heard.

"Em ... leave you ...?" Ace repeated, frowning, as if he couldn't understand his words. Murdoc was crying right in front of him, wasn't he? Murdoc was breaking in front of him, and Ace could barely understand why. Maybe because he was abandoned before? Maybe because he was abused so many times when he was a child? Maybe because he had never felt love and affection after fucking...?

Murdoc looked genuinely confused and deeply desperate. The Satanist had surely run away and deprived himself of feelings for most of his life because he thought he deserved nothing good... That had certainly come at a price. They would be there to him from now on to prove that the Satanist was wrong.

He sought a minimum of support in Stuart's gaze. Ace watched how the man was in shock, but still, the singer wasn’t desperate; It seemed like he could handle, as if 2D had seen it happening before. And Ace, so many times he'd had sex with Murdoc in the past, the American couldn't remember seeing him so broken that way. Usually he would just light a cigarette or leave the room, no space for conversation, cuddle or affection.

He swallowed, grabbing the hand Murdoc had placed over his face. "Hey ... Hey Doc ... No need to cry ... No need to be like this ..." He tried to find words, completely fumbling. He cleared his throat and looked down. With both hands, he still held one from Murdoc. "We won't leave you ... I've messed up too in the past, but we ... We love you now." He blurted out, closing his eyes miserably after that. "I mean ... Everything will be okay ..."

Ace had already said that he loved those two, but as idols, right? Never in such an intimate moment. However, that was it, he loved them, more than just idols; He had never felt that way after sex. And the way he would do absolutely anything to calm Murdoc down and comfort Stuart ... Well, if that wasn't love, nothing could be...

Stuart silently watched Ace's reaction ... He wasn't the best with words but was trying. It was beautiful to look at, there was honesty in what he said, in the tone he used. Stuart turned his face sideways and gently kissed Murdoc's hand over his cheek.

His hands went to his cheeks, wiping away tears causing another lump to form in the throat of the Satanist being treated so gently by him after sex.... Something that never happened, not once between them. It was just fuck and leave, Murdoc always despising him. Or Stuart would try to comfort him and would end up with a black eye, screams or curses. His touch was so calm so gentle.... Have his hands always been soft like that? He closed his eyes for a moment. Why he never let him do that before? Murdoc felt like a complete idiot.

"Neither of us are leaving, Muds ..." Stuart said in a whisper as the other sniffled. "In 20 years ... I've never been in a righter place than I am now..." He told him with a smile. "I have always loved you, Murdoc ... And Ace, I learned how to love you ..." He smiled at the gentle blushing American as he confessed that. "We'll take care of you, don't worry." He promised.

Murdoc bit his lip hard and wriggling from Stuart's lap, he threw himself into Ace's arms quickly, his arms wrapping around his neck and burying his face in his chest. "I'm sorry .... I'm so fucking sorry for everything ...." He said between sobs shaking and clinging to him desperately while he cried like a lost child.

Stuart just smiled and wiped his eyes quickly really thrilled. Murdoc really needed them. Both more than ever. The singer put a hand on Ace's shoulder with a gentle smile mouthing an "I love you", letting Murdoc break down into his arms .... The two would need to give Satanist a lot of love from now own .... If he really wanted to do it differently now ... It would take a lot of support and a lot of patience to happen.

Ace could barely control his own breathing as he listened to Stuart's words. They were sweet as honey, yet deep enough to pierce any walls they had built around themselves. How did Stuart had that ability? He was really a blue haired Angel ... The American cleared his throat and his face felt warm. He grunted as he heard Stuart say he had learned to love him, a restrained smile forming on his lips of true bliss.

It was strange to love, but even stranger to be loved back. For so long he had loved Murdoc the wrong way, and perhaps that was why he hadn’t been reciprocated at the time, but with Stuart... However, Ace couldn’t respond.

Feeling Murdoc falling into his arms like that made his knees weak. For a second he couldn’t react, only inert; but in the next instant he hugged him back as tightly as he could, feeling Murdoc's sobs shaking his body.

"It's ... all right, Doc ..." He smiled a smile, still trembling, slowly stroking his dark hair without breaking the embrace. "We're going to make it work ... We're not going anywhere, because our place is here ... And ..." He grinned at Stuart, finally feeling more confident with his hand on his shoulder and his silent promise. “This is going to be the best hiatus we've ever had, right? Just the three of us ... ”

Stuart smiled, nodding "Best hiatus." he repeated. He was glad Murdoc was undeniably back ... The other hiatus they always spent apart ... Or they were all bad times. Well ... Running away from the police wasn't a good thing ... But as long as they could protect Murdoc and stay together, he knew they would do the possible and the impossible for that. Plus with Noodle helping them prove his innocence it was only a matter of time before everything was okay.

Murdoc stopped crying for a moment and pulled Stuart into the hug, not very kindly. He pressed him tight against his and Ace's body ... Which made the singer cry a little hugging both of them with a sweet smile... Feeling safer and more secure than anything.

"I forgive you." He also said gently stroking Murdoc's hair watching him calm down as time went on... Shaking less, seeming less desperate. It seemed the contained 52-year-old cry was coming all out right now. He knew Murdoc needed it more than anything and was very happy to be having this unique moment in front of them. He sighed with relief, kissing the top of Murdoc's head and Ace's face gently.

Murdoc after a few moments calmed down enough to speak. "You can count on that, Ace ..." he said forcing a smile and wiping his tears, sniffing "Wherever we are ... If we are together, things will always work out right..." He gave a restrained laugh and a little punch to the American’s shoulder trying to improve the moods in the room. His bath of self-pity should be over now. He looked at Stuart fondly stroking his blue hair. "Bluebird ... Thank you." Murdoc told him about forgiving him. The singer just widened his smile showing his lovely little gap.

Ace stifled a laugh as he received Murdoc's weak punch, shaking his head. That old man ... He didn't even allow himself to break down for long, right? That was Murdoc Niccals, back as himself. The man who he had always loved. "I forgive you too, Doc ..." He said staring at him with a smile.

Ace watched at how he now smiled. He watched as he stroked Stuart's hair, how the singer smiled sweetly, how everything involving them generated a strange heat and shiver through his body. He felt... grateful. Grateful to be part of that, even a few years late. However, no matter how few tears were trapped in Ace's eyes, he didn't cry; Not this time. Instead, he cleared his throat, recovering from his new trance.

"Well, gentlemen..." He widened his smile, looking around. "You guys are naked and there’s still cum all over my living room..." He laughed, as he always did when trying to break the tense mood of any situation, talking nonsense. "And Malcolm, this accent of yours is far from good, so ... We have a lot of work to do until tomorrow ..." He looked at his watch. "And we only have a few more hours ..."

Stuart smiled and slammed his hand against his forehead "Malcolm, how could I forget the name?...." He said laughing still trying to get used to this idea. He looked around and it really was all a huge mess. He bit his lip. "Er .. I can clean everything up here if you don't mind .... I'll leave it all clean for us to leave tomorrow..." he offered kindly back acting like the nice little fool he was.

Murdoc chuckled, folding his arms. "Are you going to teach me?" He laughed scornfully "You're American Ace .... So much easier I try a Scottish accent being British than you ..." He said raising an eyebrow defiantly. He also looked around and shrugged his shoulders to get another beer. He didn't care about the mess really. The police would not come after him for having a three way sex, right?

"Stu can fix this mess ... I really need a bath ..." He said pointing down where cum still oozed from inside himself "It's not every day two men line up to fuck you huh?" Stuart blushed hard and stood quietly grabbing his underwear and cleaning supplies. The reality was that Murdoc was too lazy and selfish to clean anything up. Even more in pain.

Murdoc made an enormous effort to get up while still drinking his beer to try to forget the pain in his lower half. "And don't think you're going to escape safely, Copular ...." He smirked. Next in line is your ass!" He said laughing loudly and limping to the bathroom" I'm waiting for you!" He sing sang from inside, laughing harder with his beer.

Stuart, once in his underwear just shook his head looking at Ace "He's unbelievable isn't he? In a moment he’s here crying and sobbing ... Now he's making threats and laughing ..." The singer chuckled softly "That must be why I fell in love with him, this whole unpredictability that hasn't changed in 20 years... " He shrugged as if that was acceptable. He took a cloth and disinfectant to clean it.

Ace shook his head, not believing what he was seeing. He put a hand over his own face and let it flow over it in a sigh of regret. So much work in eight months to remind Stuart that he shouldn't follow Murdoc's orders, and now that was happening again ...

"Shit, Malcolm ..." He muttered with a frown, watching as Stuart picked up those cleaners as if it was all his fault. He cracked a smile. There would be a lot, a lot of work with those two, but that didn't mean it wouldn't be fun. Maybe ... Whatever he had been waiting all his life ... was a place where he would finally fit in.

"Hey, hey hey ..." He called Stuart, walking over to him and wrapping his arms around his waist, pulling him into a side hug as he started walking with him towards the bathroom. “Are you crazy, Stewie? You won’t clean it all by yourself. Let's put Malcolm to work too. And besides… ”He pressed his lips to one of his ears, just to mumble, when they were almost into the bathroom. "We won’t let you take your shower alone huh? ..." He added maliciously, only to see that face so adorably embarrassed again.

Everything had changed between them, but the essence, the true essence of those three ... Well, deep down, it was still the same. Maybe a little lighter, a little more fun, and definitely. - Ace nibbled his lips at the thought of it - Much more full of… _love_. They were definitely more complete and whole after what had happened.

Stuart felt himself being dragged into the bathroom and wasn’t reluctant at all. Inside he could already hear Murdoc singing out loud looking happy despite some curses and murmurs of pain after that violent sex ... It would be the first of many showers together ... He smiled and sighed ready to face the new crazy life that awaited him.

Momentarily between Ace washing his back and Murdoc washing the American's hair, he remembered that not really long ago he was suffering from nightmares involving Murdoc crashing and dying .... With Ace and him almost fighting to death because of him ... Nothing bad really happened to the three of them after all. Was that a good start?

He laughed as Murdoc dropped soap into Ace's eyes, making him scratch his back, thinking that long ago the two would be choking each other and full of jealousy. Now they were having fun like old friends ... along with the singer. It was all Stuart could have asked for.

It was the beginning of the craziest and perhaps most significant hiatus they ever had throughout their lives. Was Stuart scared? Maybe ... But he would go forward even scared. 2D wanted nothing other than that. He didn't want to be anywhere in the world but surrounded by his two best friends .... And now lovers.

He smiled once more as he realized that perhaps he had made the rightest choice of his life. With the wrongest people avaliable ... But together they got along ... Well. In the best way possible. He knew he would never be alone again and that was enough.

'For the rest of our lives' he thought to himself as he helped the American with the soap in his eye and a desperate Murdoc who finally learned how to apologize and decided to change.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [Tumblr](https://mabsgatos.tumblr.com/)  
> 


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